Torbert's definitions

Portgland

Portgland is the slang name for Portland, Oregon where you'll find a variety of people that have glandular disorders.

First it's Jim with his Thyroid, then his first kid is a Type 1 diabetic and now his second kid has hypopituitarism, they need to move to Portgland.

by Torbert May 30, 2021

netfuxed

Netfuxing is when you fuck-up a Netflix subscriber's algorithm (that is or what they like) by purposely watching things on their account that they will likely hate.

Mike came back from a week long business trip, found a note saying his live in girlfriend was moving out, and then to add salt in the wound, she Netfuxed him by making all his Netflix preferences (Action Adventure and late night screw ball comedies) cooking shows and Lesbian coming of age dramas.

by Torbert April 5, 2021

sphincter memory

Sphincter memory is the memory of the sensation you feel in your anus when passing an especially large diameter
bowel movement.

Margot smiled and then produced a little audible chortle as she had a sphincter memory of her early morning blowout where she gave birth to a very large fudge python.

by Torbert April 4, 2021

bowligarch

A bowligarch is a person who has become very rich by creating useful ceramics.

Comrade Alexander received the order to supply all the dishes for all the Russian military bases. He will soon be a bowligarch.

by Torbert March 28, 2021

blasterdam

A proclamation made usually a Dutch or Scandinavian person when they’re astounded by something. It is the equivalent of “I’ll be”.

Lars saw the Space X rocket land vertically
and said “blasterdam, that’s amazing!”

by Torbert March 28, 2021

praynus

The praynus is the name of the muscle following the rectum that one prarts through.

Thank god ReverendJerry got his voice back, as after his bout of stomach sickness
there was no way he could prart through his praynus during the homily.

by Torbert March 27, 2021

fartmitzvah

A fartmitzvah is a special time when a person is extraordinarily gassy and is just farting up a storm, so much so it almost feels like a celebration in that the farter is not holding back.

Geezus Christ Mike , Anna had some of your left over chili last night, and an hour later, it was like somebody threw a fartmitzvah for
Anna. The whole apartment was in a brown sulphuric fog.

by Torbert March 27, 2021