Definitions by TheAlwaysCorrect1
First Date Regulations for Men
1. 90 minutes maximum
2. Show up on time, but no earlier than 15 minutes.
3. Dress how you usually dress. Don’t wear a suit unless you’re coming from a meeting.
4. Have cash in your wallet. Not because you need it. Just trust me.
5. If you can’t afford to have cash in your wallet, you can’t afford a girlfriend.
6. Ripped jeans don’t look good
7. Have a reason to leave after 90 minutes. Make some shit up if you need to.
8. Don’t say you like something just because she does. If you despise it, don’t pretend to play along.
9. Bring a condom. You never know.
10. Just in case, have a Backup Call
2. Show up on time, but no earlier than 15 minutes.
3. Dress how you usually dress. Don’t wear a suit unless you’re coming from a meeting.
4. Have cash in your wallet. Not because you need it. Just trust me.
5. If you can’t afford to have cash in your wallet, you can’t afford a girlfriend.
6. Ripped jeans don’t look good
7. Have a reason to leave after 90 minutes. Make some shit up if you need to.
8. Don’t say you like something just because she does. If you despise it, don’t pretend to play along.
9. Bring a condom. You never know.
10. Just in case, have a Backup Call
Idk what to do for this date.
“Man, just review the first date regulations for men, that’s what they’re there for.”
“Man, just review the first date regulations for men, that’s what they’re there for.”
First Date Regulations for Men by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Apartment 308
The 8th suite on the third floor of an apartment block. Stereotypically, these suites will ALWAYS have a fat chick with a boyfriend who is at least 8 years older than her who has a weak-ass pull-out game. As a result of said pull-out game, this suite will also have one kid that is his and one kid that is hers. The failure of a father is unnecessarily loud because he thinks his kids like it; without realizing that he’s high key traumatizing them for life with shitty parenting. Apartment 308 is known for having residents that still believe in high school shit such as promise rings and Disney movies, along with thinking that having 5 different girlfriends and 3 different jobs over the last 10 years is considered as successful. The fat chick 95% of the time is only in it for the money as she is fully aware that the degree path she chose to get was useless and can’t hold down any sort of job whatsoever, seeing as something as simple as walking up a flight of stairs is viewed as overexertion to her.
Apartment 308 by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Super Ultra Golden Nut Bustin Mega Ultra Gawk Gawk Gawk 5000XL+
The type of blowjob that diagnoses you with Post Nut Propofol/Post Nut Paralysis for 10 or more minutes. Typically completed with an empty urethra as she completes it by using your dick like a straw. You will probably need to put your penis in a wheelchair afterwards, if and when you can move again. Contraceptives probably won’t be needed for the next 6 months as your sperm count will drop to -5,000. That’s right. Negative. Your nuts will owe themselves 5,000 new sperm cells.
How was it with the wife last night?
“Broooo I swear to fuck she gave me a full on Super Ultra Golden Nut Bustin Mega Ultra Gawk Gawk Gawk 5000XL+“
Daammmmn how are you able to walk right now???
“Broooo I swear to fuck she gave me a full on Super Ultra Golden Nut Bustin Mega Ultra Gawk Gawk Gawk 5000XL+“
Daammmmn how are you able to walk right now???
Super Ultra Golden Nut Bustin Mega Ultra Gawk Gawk Gawk 5000XL+ by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Forever Alone Satisfier
A hand towel (20”x40”) is folded in half lengthwise (to become 10”x40”) and placed on a flat surface. A latex glove is then placed on the towel, perpendicular to the long end, slightly extending ~1” past the end. The towel is then rolled up completely around the glove. The extending 1” of the glove is then peeled back around the rolled up towel and secured with elastics to secure in place. Lube is then added to the interior of the glove and then spend 10 minutes deciding which porn flick to yank off too.
What’s this thing beside your bed?
Mom, that’s my Forever Alone Satisfier.
…your what?
Just look it up on Urban Dictionary and then leave please. Ima use it
Mom, that’s my Forever Alone Satisfier.
…your what?
Just look it up on Urban Dictionary and then leave please. Ima use it
Forever Alone Satisfier by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
We Will Fuck Tonight
The ultimate get laid drink. Best made when you bring a girl over and ask what she wants and she says she’ll drink anything. This cocktail consists of:
1 oz Jack Daniels Dark Bourbon
2 oz Crown Royal Maple Whisky
1 oz Smirnoff Strawberry Vodka
1 oz Don Julio Tequila
Splash of vanilla
2 oz lime juice
Shake it over ice and add one lime wedge and top it off with cola.
1 oz Jack Daniels Dark Bourbon
2 oz Crown Royal Maple Whisky
1 oz Smirnoff Strawberry Vodka
1 oz Don Julio Tequila
Splash of vanilla
2 oz lime juice
Shake it over ice and add one lime wedge and top it off with cola.
What can I get you to drink?
“We will fuck tonight.”
Uh I asked what you wanted to- oh wait…I get it. One We Will Fuck Tonight comin up!
“We will fuck tonight.”
Uh I asked what you wanted to- oh wait…I get it. One We Will Fuck Tonight comin up!
We Will Fuck Tonight by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Whisk my Eggs
Whisk my Eggs by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Make love
It’s fucking. Call it whatever you want. Fuckin, bangin, railing, you can call it “Makin a Grilled Cheese Sandwich” if you want as long as he gets to go “awwwww FUCK” at the end of it.
Make love by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021