The King Cornholer's definitions

Turdcutter

The often overlooked and ignored aspect of a womans body. Located a mere few inches from her most pleasurable of sexual entrances. Small in size and when properly treated, can bring her and her man ultimate pleasure. Its aroma is amazing and its taste, tangy and zesty. The only place a man can get an ass tortilla or be a bung tonguer. Ones penis can find much pleasure and entertainment there when properly approaching your lady for some fine cornhole action or even just to be a Bum Sniffer. Its form fitting shape is snug against the erect penis and can cause extreme and copius orgasms. A Rectum Rooter sweet spot.

Dave: Hey Frank, why the hell is Steve in such a good mood today.
Frank: His wedding anniversary was this weekend.
Dave: So.
Frank: That's the only time hise wife lets him explore her Turdcutter.
Dave: Now I understand.

by The King Cornholer April 19, 2008

Bag Lapper

The art of laying back and letting your wife or lady friend gently and gingerley lick away at your nutt sack. Slurping your balls in and out of her mouth and usually accompanied with her stroking your hard cock, hopefully, until you bust a large gooey load.

Rhonda caught me totally by surprise last night. While I was watching Lost on TV, she began rubbing my cock through my shorts and got me rock hard. She slid my shorts down to my ankles and was one hell of a Bag Lapper for me. And as a bonus she let explode in her mouth and swallowed every drop. I was in heaven.

by The King Cornholer April 10, 2008

Rectum Rooter

That lucky fellow who has a wife or girlfriend that likes to be spontaneous while having sex with her. After being a thorough Bung Licker and totally cleansing her stink star, he reaches for his Jack Juice and liberally coats his rock hard cock and her gumhole and proceeds to enter her balloon knot ever so slowly. Once he has buried his root, balls deep in her rectum, he begins a gentle pattern of slowly withdrawing and reentering her turdcutter. He gradually builds up speed, pistoning away until reaching the point of no return and gushing his man load deep inside her tailpipe, thus being her ever loving Rectum Rooter.

Todd: Hey Larry, you have never been so relaxed. What gives?

Larry: Man, Linda was one hell of a Bag Lapper last night and she begged me to be her Rectum Rooter as I was being a Bung Tounger. She didn't have to ask me twice. The Jack Juice made it one hell of great way to dump the biggest load I ever had in her tight as hell tailhole.

Todd: Damn, at least she wasn't a Bunghole Bandit. You lucky bastard.

by The King Cornholer April 15, 2008

Anal Intruder

When a wise mans wife or girl allows him to enjoy the aroma and taste of her bunghole as he spreads her ass cheeks wide and licks and sucks the taste right out of her turdcutter. When her gumhole is ready he lubes up real well and gently begins to enter her until he is balls deep and begins a slow pattern of pumping in and out of her dumper until he builds up a quick pistoning pattern. Holding on to her hips he dumps a big gooey load deep in her colon. Thus attaining the Anal Intruder title.

My chick let me be an Anal Intruder last night! What an experience, she tasted so good and her sphincter was so tight I blew a nut way too fast. Man I wanna do that again.

by The King Cornholer March 27, 2008

Thud

A physical reaction that occurs with a males reproductive organ when sexually aroused. Blood fills the shaft and the Penis becomes erect and firm. The cowpers gland kicks into gear producing the clear fluid that trickles from the end of the tip. Making a wet spot in the shorts or dribbling off or down the erect crank. What happens beyond that is determined by the situation at hand. No pun intended. He has achieved a Thoroughly Hard Upright Dick. Thud.

While I was sniffing Theresa's Balloon Knot, I got one hell of a Thud and ending up pulling the old Bung Licker act on her. Her Gumhole softened right up and she let me Cornhole her like mad. She said I was the best Anal Intruder she has ever experienced.

by The King Cornholer April 16, 2008

Bunghole Bandit

The actual act of licking and sucking on your wife or girlfriends gumhole until she has an orgasm. Its performed while you are licking her pussy up and down and you sneak down to be a bum sniffer. You gently probe her stink star with the tip of your tongue, taking in her savory flavor and aroma. If she responds positiveley, you keep working on her bunghole until she cums, now your an official bung tonguer. If she responds negativeley, you have to stop the fun and settle for her being a Bunghole Bandit. Stealing any chance of some ass tortilla fun.

I couldn't believe how wet Charlene was this morning. We were up late last night and screwed for hours. I woke up with morning wood and rolled her over. I was lapping away at her musky twat and got the brilliant idea of a little savory ass tortilla action. I eased down and gingerly started licking away at her balloon knot. It was delicious. She said she wasn't up to any cornhole action so I had to settle for her just being a Bunghole Bandit.

by The King Cornholer April 12, 2008

Tailpipe

That tight, puckered opening of your wife or female friend that is situated just inches below her beautiful love tunnel. The only place that one can be a Bung Tonguer, or even an Anal Intruder. When spreading her ass cheeks wide, you can place your nose up close to her Bunghole and slowly inhale the scent of her Balloon Knot and slowly lick the taste right off and around her Gumhole. With slow, deliberate stabbing motions of your tongue, in and out of her Turdcutter, she can achieve anal orgasm. At that point you introduce the aspect of being a Rectum Rooter and while thrusting your penis in and out, ejaculate deep in her Tailpipe.

Larry: Hey Joe, you are acting odd. What happened last night?

Joe: The timing was perfect, I got to Cornhole Cindy last night and dumped the biggest load I ever had in her Tailpipe.

by The King Cornholer May 9, 2008