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The Grottomaster's definitions

stumpmaster

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A farm kid or sheepherder who has been generally unlucky with human females.
That young stumpmaster got caught with his pecker in a Blackhead Persian in his back pasture last week.
by The Grottomaster June 7, 2011
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ghost

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A corruption and/or diminution of the phrase "G-spot Host", which is a person who sponsors an orgy, usually at their home.
Sally is the ghost for tonight's get-together. Are you going to go straight or French?
by The Grottomaster May 21, 2011
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cold finger

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Metaphor for the medical exam administered for prostate cancer.
I'm going in for the cold finger today -- I hope the doctor has small hands.
by The Grottomaster May 20, 2011
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Work Sandwich

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A sandwich prepared by a wife for her blue-collared husband's lunch. Such sandwiches are indicative of the husband's libido, either ravenous or lacking: Thick meat on a sandwich indicates a happy wife, whereas a thin slice of bologna with no condiments stands testament to a man who has been ignoring his carnal obligations.
Bob's wife gave him a skimpy Work Sandwich -- they won't be married for much longer.
by The Grottomaster May 17, 2011
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Carbon cockprint

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The artistic product of the male pervert who climbs atop the photocopy machine naked, presses his genitals to the glass, and pushes the print button.
As the glass was clean on the photocopy machine last evening, and as it is smudged with crotch-cheese this morning, I suspect that the janitor was making Carbon cockprints all night.
by The Grottomaster May 13, 2011
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BEAST-loaf

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A semi-acronym for a particular type of processed sandwich loaf, in this case, Brain, Eyeball, Anus, Snout, and Tail loaf. *Deluxe* BEAST-loaf costs a little more and is made up of: Brain, Eyeball, Anus, Snout, and *Titty*.
At Arkansas wedding receptions they typically serve Moon Pies and BEAST-loaf sandwiches.
by The Grottomaster May 10, 2011
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Mucous Mary

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A snot and tomato juice highball punctuated with 100-proof vodka, all shaken with ice, garnished with two pimiento pits on a toothpick.
Bartemder, take that little snot over in the corner a Mucous Mary
by The Grottomaster April 13, 2011
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