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The Afterworld Cafe's definitions

Rectal defilade

The state or condition of having something up your ass. Most often used in reference to the location of a stupid person's head.

Origins: The term "defilade" is used in military tactics to refer to a position where natural surroundings protect units, vehicles or equipment from enemy fire.
Sgt. Slaughter: "Private Pile might be the stupidest person in this company. His head is so far in rectal defilade that he can see his own teeth."
by The Afterworld Cafe June 23, 2009
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Mad Plumber's Disease

noun: The state or condition of inadvertently revealing ass crack whenever one sits or bends over.
The girl in front of me in economics has mad plumber's disease. All I see the entire hour is her enormous ass crack.
by The Afterworld Cafe July 15, 2005
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Barney shit

Noun: Something new, childish, simplistic, amateurish, or meant for beginners. It may also refer to foolishly innocent thoughts or actions.

Origin: Drawn from Saul Williams' "Penny for a Thought":

"a young child stares at a glowing screen
transfixed by tales of violence
his teenage father tells him that that's life,
not that Barney shit
a purple dinosaur that speaks of love,
a black man that speaks of blood
which one is keeping it real, son?"
~"Did you hear Jen got that job?"
~"At the lawyer's office? It's Barney shit. She's a secretary with a fancy title."

~"I tried a Guinness Stout for the first time last night. It was so good."
~"You're lucky. After all these years drinking Mich Ultra, you're lucky you can handle good beer. That Barney shit will ruin perfectly good taste buds."

~"Dude, Gina just waved to me. Do you think she likes me?"
~"What? Spare me the Barney shit. Go talk to her."
by The Afterworld Cafe March 5, 2010
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What the fuck is a Chinese downhill?

A phrase used to express lack of understanding when everything should be perfectly clear.

A way of saying "I should understand this completely, but it makes no sense whatsoever."

Origin: In the 1980s ski comedy "Hot Dog: The Movie," the antagonist proposes a Chinese downhill to resolve all conflicts between himself (the hotshot skier) and the protagonist (not so talented skier/cool guy). After they outline what's at stake -the girl, rule over the slopes, cash, etc. -the comic-relief Chinese guy leans in and asks "Wha te fuck is a Chinese downhir?" (A Chinese downhill is a ski race with a shotgun start -first one to the bottom wins.)
Journalists talking about a story that's been assigned, but the second journalist missed the meeting:

J1 -"Good luck getting Pee Wee Herman to discuss his movie theater fetish. You better get on it; deadline is Friday."

J2 -"Pee Wee Herman about what? When did this happen? What the fuck is a Chinese downhill?"
by The Afterworld Cafe June 26, 2007
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Clinger

noun: A spinner who holds so tightly to the man that's fucking her that when he gets up on all fours, she no longer touches the bed.
Ally is a real clinger. Last night when I was fucking her, she wrapped herself around me so tight that I got up, got a beer and changed the TV channel without losing rhythm.
by The Afterworld Cafe July 15, 2005
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Six pack's worth of pretty

An attitude toward a man or woman who is not unattractive, but not particularly pretty.

A person who would become attractive enough to have sex with after a few drinks.
Bobo: "Mandy called to see what I was doin' later."
Jojo: "So take her out; she's a six pack's worth of pretty. Have a few pops and nail her. It's not like anyone will make fun of you for it."
by The Afterworld Cafe June 26, 2007
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skankering

A strong urge to find a skank with which to perform sexual acts. A strong hankering to sleep with a slut.
I don't think I'm looking to meet a nice girl today. I have a skankering for something naughty and dirty, like the town tramp.
by The Afterworld Cafe July 29, 2009
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