Tenacious Faulker's definitions

it might have been

The saddest words of tongue and pen...

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these:
'It might have been!'" -- John Greenleaf, Maud Muller, 1856

Now go look it up, bitches.

by Tenacious Faulker April 15, 2009

three finger proctological exam

Anything or anyone that's a HUGE pain in the ass.

To suck and blow simultaneously.

This weekend my boss is making redo this month's TPS report. What a huge three finger protological exam that's going to be!

Having Jerry around is like having a constant three finger proctological exam!

by Tenacious Faulker April 14, 2009

fight capades

1) Fighting on ice, e.g. professional hockey.

2) A hockey game that has an inordinate amount of fights either throughout the game or simultaneously as in a bench-clearing brawl.

Fan 1: "Did you watch the Stanley Cup finals between the Penguins and the Redwings? Talbot fought Lindstrom, Fleury fought, Osgood fought Ericcson, Ericcson fought Talbot..."

Fan 2: "Oh, you mean the fight capades. Yeah, the Pens kicked their asses!"

by Tenacious Faulker June 23, 2009

Billy Bass

The stupid, singing, rubber bass that you mount to your double-wide's porch next to your family's favorite pastime, the bug-zapper.

Jeb Bush: George, did the tax-payers foot the bill for that Bill Blass you have on?

George Bush: It's really called a Big Mouth Billy Bass, Jeb, and Cheney gave it to me last year.
Jeb Bush: I'm talking about your suit, you damn moron!

George Bush: Oh. Sorry. Can we just watch the bug-zapper on the West Lawn.

by Tenacious Faulker April 2, 2009

left and right

A colorful term used in place of "everywhere", "all around", "all over" or "a plethora"; i.e. a lot.

I went fishing yesterday and nailled bass left and right.

Last night there were hotties in the club left and right.

I was in a highway pile up and was hit left and right.

We had a picnic on the beach and the seagulls were swarming us left and right.

by Tenacious Faulker August 21, 2009

eye guzzling

An extended gawk or to binge watch a TV series or movie serquals.

1) Jim was eye guzzling that co-ed so hard I thought his eyes were going to fall out.

2) I spent the entire long weekend eye guzzling the last 3 seasons of Game of Thrones. Now I'm in a massive show hole.

by Tenacious Faulker February 29, 2016

keep it on the up

1) Doing what society expects of you; being a proper ciizen; acting properly. Using socially acceptable behavior. Another way to say "walk the straight and narrow path"; being a "proper"citizen; straight laced.

2) The alternate name for "Troublemaker", by Weezer, by dumbasses because they only really listen to the chorus.

"Troublemaker" Exerpt, 2nd verse:

I'm growin' out my hair,

I'm movin' up to Cherokee,

I'm gonna be a rockstar,

And you will go ta bed with me,

'Cause I can't work a job,

Like any other slob,

Punchin' in and punchin' out
and suckin-up to "Bob".

Marryin' a bi-otch,

Havin' seven ki-ods,

Givin' up and growin' old,

And hopin' there's a God.

I'm a troublemaker,

Never been a faker.

Doin' things my own way

And never givin' up

I'm a troublemaker,

Not a doubletaker.

I don't have the patience to keep it on the up.

by Tenacious Faulker June 25, 2009