Telephony's definitions

asshaberdasher

A true buttsnoipe who leads a number of surrounding individuals into total asshaberdashery.

{At a large house party}

Mike: See that asshaberdasher over there?
Linda: Yeah, he's goading the crowd into total and complete asshattery! What a fucking buttsnoipe!!!

by Telephony November 27, 2011

candiosity

A word used to indicate a piñata's level of candy fill.

Originally used on the now-defunct television program, "Viva Piñata".

That piñata is stuffed to maximum candiosity; it almost exploded just hanging there!!!

by Telephony November 27, 2011

coffee penus

When you have to uranate every five or ten minutes because you've been drinking too much coffee.

(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep

{ring...ring...ring...}

(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?

(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.

(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***

by Telephony November 13, 2011

Cherry

The hot (burning) end of a cigarette, "J", or bowl (pipe).

(Jim): Harry, you just nocked the cherry off your smoke and it's burning a hole in my rug!!!
(Harry): O FUCK!!! Sorry dude!!! {stomps the smouldering rug out with his shoe and relights his smoke}.

by Telephony October 12, 2011

ear whipping

A sermon; especially one administered at a soup kitchen prior to food being served.

Bum #1: Hey, let's go to the Bread of Life mission tonight for dinner!

Bum #2: NO, NOT THERE!!! They gave an ear whipping almost four hours long last night for a scoop of mystery meat and a spoonful of smashed potatoes with lumpy gravy on them!!!

by Telephony October 4, 2011

FV¢K YOURSELF

Means the exact same thing a "fuck yourself"; but bypasses the onboard censors found on many internet BBSs.

If you're thinking about getting on my toilet muscle about the damn unmade bed, then please go FV¢K yourself. I know the bed's unmade!!!

by Telephony August 22, 2011

p-whipped

A nicer way of using the word pussywhipped -- this way of spelling it also bypasses the onboard censors found on many BBSs.

Jeff was so p-whipped, he couldn't even uranate without his domineering wife knowing about it.

by Telephony August 16, 2011