Telephony's definitions

p-whipped

A nicer way of using the word pussywhipped -- this way of spelling it also bypasses the onboard censors found on many BBSs.

Jeff was so p-whipped, he couldn't even uranate without his domineering wife knowing about it.

by Telephony August 16, 2011

FV¢K YOURSELF

Means the exact same thing a "fuck yourself"; but bypasses the onboard censors found on many internet BBSs.

If you're thinking about getting on my toilet muscle about the damn unmade bed, then please go FV¢K yourself. I know the bed's unmade!!!

by Telephony August 22, 2011

coffee penus

When you have to uranate every five or ten minutes because you've been drinking too much coffee.

(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep

{ring...ring...ring...}

(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?

(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.

(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***

by Telephony November 13, 2011

hum my rod

Another term for "suck my dick".

{Joe & Josh are at the baseball stadium; Joe has the "cheap seats"}

Josh: Hey Joe, how's the weather up in the nosebleed section?
Joe: HUM MY ROD Josh!!!

by Telephony June 20, 2011

torqued off

Means the same thing as ticked off, pissed off, teed off, etc. (e.g. extremely angry)

Melanie got very torqued off when she discovered that her Facebook account had been hacked and subsequently altered to replace her photograph with one of a dead giraffe.

by Telephony June 23, 2011

Cherry

The hot (burning) end of a cigarette, "J", or bowl (pipe).

(Jim): Harry, you just nocked the cherry off your smoke and it's burning a hole in my rug!!!
(Harry): O FUCK!!! Sorry dude!!! {stomps the smouldering rug out with his shoe and relights his smoke}.

by Telephony October 12, 2011

synthetic washboards

The sound of a washboard being played, but generated solely by computer hardware or software synthesis.
No real washboards are folded, spindled, or mutilated when synthetic washboards are being employed.

The smartphone video game, "Undersea Match & Build" has plenty of synthetic washboards in one piece of its zax.

by Telephony October 20, 2019