Telephony's definitions

speech imspediment

How Butt-Head from the TV program Beavis and Butt-Head says the phrase, "speech impediment" in the episode, "Speech Therapy".

{Butt-Head}: No ma'am, I don't have a speech imspediment.

by Telephony August 13, 2020

sweat

Sweat is the urine of the skin.

{Mother}: Why don't you just walk across the campus, sweetheart?
{Sheldon}: If I do that, I'll sweat. And sweat is the urine of the skin -- I might as well just have a golden shower!

by Telephony November 2, 2021

Jon Taffer

The host of the successful TV reality program, Bar Rescue shown on Spike TV, in which Jon finds bars that are going down the toliet for some reason or other (shitty sanitation, crappy management, poopy bar food, seedy crowds, problems with the liquor, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, etc. and then retrains the bar & kitchen staff for new food & drink recipes and rebuilds the bar itself in hopes that the new branding and new food & bar menus will bring back customers.

Jon Taffer and his Bar Rescue crew are going to try and rescue the Pink Toenail Cocktail Lounge tomorrow! Now THAT I've GOT to see!!! :-O

by Telephony April 26, 2015

pissblanket

A plastic mattress protector; used to prevent a mattress from becoming wrecked if somebody has enuresis (if they piss the bed). They are often found on beds at group homes and similar facilities.

Robbins then thinks about the pissblankets on every bed in the joint, so he rips the pissblanket off of one of the beds, goes around and unscrews all of the light bulbs he can get to, pours the generous helping of light bulbs into the pissblanket (approx. 24 bulbs), gathers up the edges, and whirls the bulging pissblanket over his head -- striking the wall with it a number of times until he is absolutely, positively, 100% certain that all of the bulbs inside are busted. He then crams the pissblanket and its cargo of broken bulbs into a nearby wastepaperbasket.

by Telephony April 16, 2011

charmangulation

Tearing, ripping, or otherwise mutilating the first several sheets off of a new toilet roll in an attempt to find the "start".

Man that's totally F'ed up!!! You really committed charmangulation on that roll of bungwipe, didn't you?

by Telephony November 15, 2010

public enema number one

Very similar to "public enemy number one"; perhaps a little worse (how much worse can it get?!?)

Jayden is public enema number one for stealing the food from the foodbank and throwing it into a burning dipsty dumpster!!! Man, what a class A-1 prick!!!

by Telephony January 24, 2011

broken

When referring to a pet cat or dog that's been "fixed", they're actually broken. I mean, think about it...when a pet has its cunt cut out or has its nads chopped off, it is no longer capable of doing something that it was rather easily able to before -- that is, make kittens or puppies!

Yeah, Nikki has been broken; she got spayed approx. nine years ago and can no longer have little baby kitties.

by Telephony June 6, 2015