Telephony's definitions

douche out

To rinse; usually with fresh water.

Hey Norm, don't forget to douche out that carafay before you start a new pot of coffee!

by Telephony July 17, 2014

whirling down the shitbowl

Going to pot, going to hell in a handbasket; a way of saying that a situation or a person's condition is deteriorating extremely rapidly.

Mom's mind is whirling down the shitbowl; she always forgets to take her meds, she lies in bed naked all day, she has poopinary and pissinary incontinence, she won't even get up to get a glass of water.

by Telephony May 4, 2019

Class A-1 prick

Not to be confused with a regular prick (or a fucktard, dickweed, assrat bastard, etc.); a mofo who has reached the status of Class A-1 prick is a real waste of bungwipe and really needs to be exterminated like the bug he or she really is.

Jason is such a Class A-1 prick for bringing a ghetto blaster to church and blasting Slayer music out of it!!! :-O

by Telephony May 6, 2012

disposable plastic adult toliets

Quite simple really...this is a product like Depends, Attends, etc. -- any product designed to absorb micturition (piss), defecation (shit) and sometimes even menstrual discharge.

They're called, "disposable plastic adult toliets because they have but one purpose: an adult pisses, shits, and occasionally has her period (or he cums in one) when using them, they're made chiefly out plastic, and you hold your nose when you're gingerly carrying the fucking yucky, wet, heavy dripping bloody thing to the lidded wastepaperbasket or diaper pale for disposal.

Hey Linda, do you know where you moved the disposable plastic adult toliets to? I think I just cummed mine and I really need to change it!

by Telephony August 28, 2014

pittles

Another name for the axillae (armpits).

{John}: Hey Marcus, look at that dude coming out of the bar! He's got these huge, dinner plate-size salt-encrustulated wet puddles in his pittles!

{Marcus}: Ewww yuck! Hasn't that asshaberdasher ever heard of Mitchum?!?

by Telephony July 16, 2014

the fit has hit the shan

A polite way of saying (or typing) the phrase, "the shit has hit the fan".

{Seen on an online forum}: yea, the fit has hit the shan...think we're discussing all of this in the POLITICAL FORUM, Ang. in the, "From Ferguson With Love" thread...

by Telephony November 26, 2014

monkey sheets

Bed sheets stained with spooge because you masturbated and then subsequently ejaculated onto them.
Monkey sheets are frequently characterised by having a queer odour.

{Beavis and Butt-Head dressing themselves as ghosts for Halloween}

{Beavis}: Hey Butt-Head, this sheet smells funny.
{Butt-Head}: Yeah, huh huh. Those are my special monkey sheets.
{Beavis}: O fuck! Get it off! Get it off!! GET IT OFF!!!

by Telephony February 15, 2020