Telephony's definitions

plastic cat toliet

An alternate phrase that is simply another way of saying "litterbox".

Called the "plastic cat toliet" because litterboxes are generally made of plastic and they have but one function: a cat pisses & shits into it -- thus making it a toliet for cats.

Craig, it's time to clean out the plastic cat toliet; it's getting awfully full!!!

by Telephony December 27, 2011

carperpetuation

The act of, when vaccuming, running over a piece of lint or string eight or nine times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, examining it, then throwing it back down to give the vacuum one last chance.
Repeat as frequently as necessary.

Linda!
You're doing carperpetuation again!
Just take that fucking piece of string over to the wastepaperbasket or flush it away in the shitbowl instead of pissing away the whole goddamn day trying to vaccum it up!

by Telephony August 6, 2014

bloody hatchet wound

Slang term for the female cunt; esp. if that pussy's owner is on the rag.

Don't fuck Jessica tonight; she has a bloody hatchet wound and you'll get your dick covered in her menstruation!!!

by Telephony September 30, 2018

spambag

What you might call some butt wagon who deluges your email inbox with unwelcome spam email messages.

That fucking spambag keeps sending this shit about how I can make my penus rock hard and how I can buy houses for 49¢! Grrrr!!! $*@#%

by Telephony October 11, 2021

There's Pussy in the Box

A phoney-bologna fake made-up jingle sung when you encounter a housecat in a cardboard box.
In this context, the word, "pussy" does not mean a woman's flower! :-O

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♪ There's pussy in the box ♪
♪ There's pussy in the box ♪
♪ Don't turn up the stereo ♪
♪ There's pussy in the box ♪

by Telephony January 19, 2017

PO

Pit odour.
Also known as AO. Similar to BO but somebody with PO reeks very strongly of funky pits.

Piss you!!! That dude that just went past has a terrible case of PO!!! :-(

by Telephony July 25, 2020

toilet paper warden

A person (typically the leader of a sizeable household) that rations out bungwipe on an as-needed basis.
The need for toilet paper wardens became evident when the COVD-19 (coronavirus) pandemic of 2020 caused massive hoarding (and subsequent depletion) of rollios across the United States.

Kim has volunteered to become the toilet paper warden of the Trowbridge household because little Heidi upstairs has been going through massive amounts of paper toliets in attempts to grow algae and fungi in cups.

by Telephony March 26, 2020