Telephony's definitions

shiiiiTAKE (mushrooms)

You use the phrase, "shiiiiTAKE (mushrooms)" where you might otherwise use the word, "shit"; such as if there are young children around or if you're on forums (or, "fora" if you want to be a dick about it) where the words shit and shittake are forbidden or censored (yes, a forum that I'm on censors the word shittake!!!).

{in a room where a toddler is present}: Gosh I don't want to go; I feel like shiiiiTAKE (mushrooms) this morning.

by Telephony October 22, 2019

sweat

Sweat is the urine of the skin.

{Mother}: Why don't you just walk across the campus, sweetheart?
{Sheldon}: If I do that, I'll sweat. And sweat is the urine of the skin -- I might as well just have a golden shower!

by Telephony November 2, 2021

or some such horse puckey

Means the same as or some shit; literally translated, it means, "or something like that".

(Guy #1): So the Mariners and the Braves are going at it in this year's World Series?
(Guy #2): Yeah, I hear that it's gonna be a pitcher's duel or or some such horse puckey.

by Telephony November 20, 2021

telephone fruit

Bananas!
They are sometimes called the telephone fruit because if you hold one like an old-style landline (corded) telephone handset it looks as though you really *ARE* holding a landline handset (aka. a telephone "receiver").

I'm going to the store to pick up some taper powels, poliet taper, grapes, and telephone fruit.

by Telephony November 20, 2021

spambag

What you might call some butt wagon who deluges your email inbox with unwelcome spam email messages.

That fucking spambag keeps sending this shit about how I can make my penus rock hard and how I can buy houses for 49¢! Grrrr!!! $*@#%

by Telephony October 11, 2021

ass mallet

Another term for an asshole.

{Seen on a drone aerial video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your βµṁ#Ø£€** to your ṕ€nµs

♪ Some ass mallet pee'd on a fembot!!! ♪
{~850ms pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony September 17, 2021

overfloaded

How some children say the word, "overflowed".

{Craig}: Mom, the toilet is overfloaded!
{Mom}: Hang on honey, I'll be right there.

by Telephony August 17, 2021