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TRISTAN's definitions

turtle

yeah..... john came over and played with my turtle
by Tristan June 19, 2006
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Kennel Syndrome

A medical condition in which the sufferer loses his or her sense of short term memory for conversation.
This syndrome in known to occur in many different environments, though it has got it's name from the first documented case in a kennels in Studley, Worcestershire.
It has been known to occur in educational establishments as well, notably it occurs with devastating effect in primary school teachers, and teaching assistants.
The condition, which is not confirmed to be viral, bacterial or fungal has evolved a strain which has high contaigousness. It is establishing a hold in Aberystwyth, and looks to be colonising the South East of England. It's spread in the Midlands has been slowed effectively by containment.

Kennel Syndrome has been linked to excessive consumption of blue smarties, peaking in those suffering from blue smartie syndrome and spreads fastest throughout populations with high numbers of INAD sufferers.

A vaccine is being produced, as it is deeply irritating to those who do not suffer it.
10.04, Monday. "Liz, did I tell you about what I got my sister for Christmas?"
"No, what did you get her?"

11.15, Tuesday. "Liz, did I tell you about what I got my sister for Christmas?"
"I think you did, but remind me".

11.18, Tuesday. "Liz, did I tell you about what I got my sister for Christmas?"
"Yes, you did. Stop telling me the same stuff over and over! Have you got Kennel Syndrome or something?!".
by Tristan July 24, 2008
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Ah tan

discipline master hu seems to strike fear in the hearts of students in Serangoon Garden.

various forms of torturous punishments like apolo turn, and the cock steaming cane. (where he wld let the guys watch porn and when it is straight, he wld whack it so hard u wish u nv had a dick)
"I have a prefect hu live in Jurong and he is never late for school!"

"George come here! Do the appolo turn now!"
by Tristan April 26, 2005
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hater

ignorant jealous person that is envious of others; see tristan
'tristan is a fuckin hater, kid'
by tristan July 11, 2004
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INAD

INAD is an acronym for 'I Need Attention Disorder'. Examples of INAD can be seen in any crowded place, and amongst any group of people. Typically the signs of INAD are first noticed in small children in supermarkets, where they tend to run around screaming or generally irritate shoppers by shouting arguments or pleas with their parents.

It is thought that INAD is caused mainly by ingestion of high doses of E numbers, especially those found in cheap processed foods. Possibly by E101 to E131 and E200 series, Also known to cause hyperactivity are the colours E128 (red) and E133 (blue). These colours are possibly what gives children Blue Smartie Syndrome

INAD can also be induced socially by normally involved people feeling shunned by the conversation. This can lead to them exhibiting INAD as a form of distraction as they steer the conversation round to a subject they can lead in.

Some people are naturally prone to INAD, while others rarely suffer from it.

Those afflicted with INAD generally calm down once they're back to the centre of attention. Possible cures for INAD are restrictions on the smmounts of E numbers consumed, and absolute isolation. The latter may induce fatal depression in those natually prone to INAD.
"Widened eyes, loudened voice, more body movement, he/she shows all the signs of INAD"


"My God, will that kid stop it with the INAD"
by Tristan March 20, 2005
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Blue Smartie Syndrome

Blue Smartie Syndrome (BSS) is caused by ingestion of the additives E128 and E133. Other additives can cause similar effect, though the previous are the most used as examples. These are colours (Red and Blue respectively) found in many sweets and processed foods in varying amounts. They are known to cause hyperactivity in children, which can lead to INAD or hyperactive behaviour. Hence, it is extremely unwise to give smarties to hyperactive children, unless you want to prize them off of next door's TV aerial.
"What? Two BOXES? That's enough sugar for them to have a high of several hours!"
by Tristan March 20, 2005
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hussy

a metal canister that is placed under the blankets of a bed to make it warm, also used to describe a whore or slut... ect.
that hussy could warm my bed anytime. (haha)
by tristan May 13, 2005
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