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Stormsworder's definitions

michael howard

A politician in the UK's Conservative party. When he was Home Secretary he was frowned on for locking a lot of people up. However, when the Blair governmnent released them all again, people realised maybe the general public were safer whilst violent criminals were behind bars. Howard was the victim of the lookist spin-doctor culture who used the "something of the night about him" comment to great effect. He became leader of the opposition when the Tories suddenly realised they had forgotten to elect a new leader after their 2001 defeat, and lasted almonst a fortnight (which is quite good by modern Tory standards).
"Why would anyone bother boting for Michael Howard the vampire? We've already got the New Labour bloodsuckers, after all".
by Stormsworder October 20, 2007
mugGet the michael howardmug.

sly cooper

A raccoon who was heir to a book about how to steal stuff, but unfortunately the book itself was stolen. A sign of our times. So, with the help of a thing that looks like a bishop's crook, a pink hippo and a tortoise, you must embark on a mission across the world to recover Sly's trousers. The three games that follow are so bloody tedious I'd advise him to stay at home and take up fly-fishing and full-contact scrabble instead.
Hey, so Sly's games are boring and Sly himself is a weed. But on the other hand you get to play a raccoon with no trousers, and you can climb all over a big fox-woman with massive jugs, and things like that are far more important! Sly Cooper for furry of the month! Wahay!
by Stormsworder September 7, 2007
mugGet the sly coopermug.

dateline

A take-the-money-and-run online dating agency who cancel your account whenever they feel like it, refuse to answer your e-mails and never refund your money. On-line frauds.
"Dateline have just terminated my account, despite the fact I've paid for another five months of membership yet, and the snotty fuckers won't even answer my e-mails to tell me what is going on".
"Don't worry. Dateline is for Russian immigrants trying to claim citizenship by marrying someone in this country, stuck-up bitches who think only someone with the looks of a film star is good enough for them, and predatory perverts who are only out for what they can get".
by Stormsworder September 25, 2007
mugGet the datelinemug.

england

A country which must rank as the biggest victim of racism in the modern world. Leonard Maltin gets on his high horse if Mickey Mouse so much as dresses up as a Native American and says 'how', nobody is allowed to mention that Abu Hamza is a twisted terrorist supporter and no-one's allowed to sing 'baa-baa-black-sheep'. And yet Hollywood is busy churning out so-called movies which are really one piece of anti-english racist propaganda after another. The latest, Braveheart, tells the 'true' story of how the heroic Scots beat the evil English murderers. Lol! It's not Mel Gibson's brains that have got him where he is today. I've no doubt that most English and American people would rather live together in peace, but - as in any situation like this - the minority of loudmouths and bigots unfortunately shout loudest and so are heard. Unfortunately those bigots include the UK government. Tony Blair and his clan openly detest England and the English, are busily selling it off, taking away its basic freedoms and putting it under the iron-fist rule of unelected suits in Brussels. The laughability of Blair can be truly seen when you realise he's sucking up to a President who is a retard controlled by arms-dealer and big business puppet-masters. Every time Bush opens his mouth he detracts from the total sum of human intelligence. Some Americans harp on about the murderous British Empire, neatly stepping over the fact that the US is currently acting exactly the same as the British Empire at its worst. The white US population came from countries like England (has anyone noticed how so many of them speak english?) and wiped out entire nations and entire ways of life when they invaded the New World. Regarding the War of Independance, far more people died in the American Civil Wars which followed. For what it's worth, I love New York, thought the people there were very nice. I certainly felt less threatened walking the streets there than in places like London or Luton, which are becoming more like third world slums every day. Returning to the subject of xenophobia, I think it might be an idea if people formed their own opinions rather than relying on propaganda-filled movies which are being used in the same way Hitler and Stalin used films to brainwash the people of their countries.
For the benefit of anyone wishing to imply the English are all semi-literate, whales are marine mammals. Wales is the country attached to England.
by StormSworder August 20, 2006
mugGet the englandmug.

crash bandicoot

Star of many video games, Crash Bandicoot was one of the victims of the power-mad Dr Neo Cortex, who tried to cause rapid evolution in animals in order to turn them into his army of heavies. Crash, together with his sister Coco Bandicoot and their friend Crunch Bandicoot, are now dedicated to putting a spoke in every wheel of evil plotting Cortex dreams up. The best games in Crash's history, in my view, are 'Cortex Strikes Back' and 'Twinsanity'. In the latter, Crash was forced to team up with Cortex in order to foil the plans of two power-mad birds (who were former pets of Cortex).
Cortex: I'll destroy you and take over this world.

Crash Bandicoot: Uh....

Cortex: I shall be the supreme being of the universe!

Crash: Uh....

Cortex: You've a real way with words, do you know that?!
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
mugGet the crash bandicootmug.

halloween

This was once a pagan festival. Now it is an excuse for kids to come round in silly 'horror' costumes demanding money or sweets, sometimes throwing eggs at your house if you don't give them anything. Was also used as the title and setting for a series of films.
A couple of ghosties started fighting on halloween. They were pulled off by the ghoulies.
by Stormsworder February 4, 2007
mugGet the halloweenmug.

virgin

1: An island or other piece of land which is undiscovered.

2: A person or animal who has never had sex. This could be for a variety of reasons, but if there were more virgins there might be less STDs, less unwanted pregnancies and less babies who grow up being ignored by their uninterested parents, having no chance in life at all and ending up in the gutter or on drugs. The problem is that people are so often made to feel that admitting you're a virgin is akin to admitting you're a leper.

I'm sure most virgins have had sex on their own, if you get my drift. Despite us humans claiming we're superior to animals, primal instincts are still within us.
Schoolgirls:

Emma: So, Rachel. You had sex yet?
Rachel: No. I'm only thirteen. Anyway, I'm going to save myself for the right man.
Emma and her friends laugh and start chanting 'Rachel's a virgin'.
by StormSworder August 11, 2006
mugGet the virginmug.

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