StormSworder's definitions

bully

Someone who, at school, is too lazy to work and sees no reason why any one else should. Despite their parading about, bullies are physical cowards who will only pick on those weaker than themselves. They usually finish up in and out of jail or serving behind the fish counter until they're 70. Bullies can also be found in the work-place, or hanging around streets and pubs looking for trouble. Grown-up bullies are basically schoolboys who've never grown up, usually because they can't deal with the adult world. Many bullies are short-arses with an inferiority complex which means they have to try to prove themselves. They are usually dated by sleazy blondes with an IQ of 4 between them. Teachers can also be bullies, which means that bullying problems among the school-children don't go away as the bullying teachers pick on the weaker boys.

That pair of bullies have just pushed someone onto the ground and repeatedly kicked him in the face and head. They then ran away before he could get up. What big brave men they are. I want them to arse-bandit me. All worship the bully.

by Stormsworder April 8, 2007

cockney

Person from the East End of London. Supposedly 'born with the sound of bow-bells'. When I used to live in Houghton Regis there were some next door, and they talked and acted nothing like the ones in Eastenders (most of whom are posh actors trying to sound working class). And let's be honest, a lot of TV producers are lovies and darlings who seem to think working class people (especially cockneys) are automatically criminals. Alright, I'm sure there are criminals in the East End. But thanks to a succession of useless, soft-head, corrupt UK governments, there are bloody villains everywhere you go in Britain. Counties around the south of England tend of be full of 'mockneys' - total arseholes who think putting on a fake cockney accent makes them sound hard (but don't tell their mummies).

Mo Slater has stolen a baby's cot and is now selling it like the heartless criminal she is. Egads! You nasty evil cockney!

Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.

by StormSworder August 11, 2006

sea monster

Ever since the human race took to the high seas there have been stories of unidentified sea monsters. Even in this age of science, there are still sightings of sea beasts which go unexplained. Many sightings, I'm certain, can be explained away by giant squid, whales and the like, but there still remains the fact that only one per-cent of the sea has been properly explored. Megaladon, a giant prehistoric shark, is said to have died out millions of years ago, but teeth only thousands of years old have been found. Some sea monsters resemble plesiosaurs, a kind of dinosaur-like animal thought to have died out some sixty-five million years ago. Scientists claim a cold-blooded reptile would never be able to tolerate the cold water. This is despite the fact that plesiosaurs (as well as icthiosaurs) are known to have inhabited freezing seas. And, as dinosaurs are now thought to have been warm-blooded, I see no reason why animals like plesiosaurs couldn't have also been warm-blooded. One famous sea monster is 'Morgawr', an unidentified animal said to live around Falmouth Bay in Cornwall. Two photographs, sent into a newspaper in the seventies by 'Mary F', show what seems to be a curious long-necked animal. However, as they are both in silhouette and 'Mary F' has never revealed herself, I don't know quite what to make of these photos. Though personally I'm sure there are many animals, maybe including plesiosaurs or plesiosaur-like animals, still awaiting discovery in the sea.

I often despair of people who seem to make it their life's work to prove some sea monster or lake monster doesn't exist. Whatever has happened to the human urge to explore and discover the unknown?

by Stormsworder December 30, 2006

kryten

An android from the sci-fi/comedy series Red Dwarf, Kryten looks like a human wearing metallic clothes, but has a cube-like, geometric head. He became a regular in Series 3, played by Robert Llewellyn, but was actually first seen in an episode of Series 2 in which the Red Dwarf crew find him on a crashed spacecraft. He has been programmed to look after the crew of the marooned craft, but didn't realise they had been dead for many years. Played by Dave Ross, his original character was based on the butler in 'The Admirable Crichton'. Taken back to Red Dwarf, he was persuaded to rebel against Rimmer's task-master treatment and went joy-riding on Lister's space bike. In the Series 3 prologue (freeze-frame the tape/DVD to read it) it was revealed he had crashed, and that Lister had put him back together but had been unable to restore his original personality. Since then Lister has fought a losing battle trying to encourage Kryten to break his programming (by developing emotions, being able to lie etc). It has been revealed that Kryten can change heads, can detach his hand and send it to bring help, and can remove his eyes (useful for when communicating with human-hating psychotic androids).

Kryten: What a smeeee. What a smeeeee. What a smeeeeeee heeeeeeeee....

by Stormsworder October 18, 2006

eastenders

A soap opera which used to be unmissable entertainment, but since about 2001 it has completely lost the plot. All the interesting characters have gone, replaced by people who are either irritating, obnoxious or both. I've lived where there are a lot of real eastenders and they're nothing like the ones in this soap opera. Albert Square is now populated by patronising working-class stereotypes (who are usually criminals, wife-beaters, serial killers etc). Nobody can keep their trousers/skirt on for more than five minutes, and Dirty Den suddenly rising from the grave shows how desperate the series has become, having exhausted all possible storylines years ago. Only continues because soap operas are so cheap to make. Once you've built the sets, you can use them forever, and you only need to go on location for a week twice a year and have a special effect once in a blue moon. And you can use the same storylines over and over. Eastenders always has an extra-depressing storyline at Christmas. Ho-ho-ho to you as well. By the way, Eastenders is now on four times a week, so that's even more padding to enjoy.

To hell with decent plots and characters. What we want in eastenders are headline-grabbing gimmick storylines, no matter how ridiculous they are. Lol! Eastenders was always larger-than-life, but surely there must be some limits.

by Stormsworder January 6, 2007

sun

1: The parent star of our planet.

2: A so-called newspaper which you need an IQ of less than 12 to fully appreciate.

There are millions of stars in this galaxy alone, let alone all the countless other galaxies. If every star is a sun, there could be countless Earth-like worlds.

by Stormsworder November 16, 2006

speed cameras

A way of making the government yet more money, cynically disguised as a way of stopping accidents. As with most of this government's ways of conning the public, anyone with an IQ of over 15 can work out it's just a con. Often speeding signs are not clearly visible (my mother was caught out like this), and in Luton a couple of years ago there were ten (!) police officers standing on a roadside stopping cars at random in the hope that one of the drivers might not have insurance or an up-to-date tax disc. Given the crime rate in Luton, is anyone out there seriously going to tell me they had nothing better to do? But back to the point. I'm not in favour of speeding (I saw a lunatic using a housing estate as a race track), but 5% of accidents are due to speeding. Speed cameras can't stop people driving like they're on the dodgems. And now people are having to keep a constant eye on their speed-o-meters, thus are distracted from the road ahead. Nice one, New Labour.

In court this morning a man was fined £200 and 18 months loss of license after being caught speeding by one of the speed cameras. In the next court-room a man was let off with a warning for GBH.

by Stormsworder October 17, 2006