StormSworder's definitions
Person from the East End of London. Supposedly 'born with the sound of bow-bells'. When I used to live in Houghton Regis there were some next door, and they talked and acted nothing like the ones in Eastenders (most of whom are posh actors trying to sound working class). And let's be honest, a lot of TV producers are lovies and darlings who seem to think working class people (especially cockneys) are automatically criminals. Alright, I'm sure there are criminals in the East End. But thanks to a succession of useless, soft-head, corrupt UK governments, there are bloody villains everywhere you go in Britain. Counties around the south of England tend of be full of 'mockneys' - total arseholes who think putting on a fake cockney accent makes them sound hard (but don't tell their mummies).
Mo Slater has stolen a baby's cot and is now selling it like the heartless criminal she is. Egads! You nasty evil cockney!
Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
by StormSworder August 11, 2006
Get the cockney mug.A member of the arachnid family, one of the oldest and most successful groups of animals on this planet. In fact, some think the first animal to leave the sea was an arachnid. Scorpions have lobster-like claws and a tail which arches forward over their backs, ends in a sting. It's that sting which means they are feared and detested, but in fact only a small minority of scorpions are dangerously venomous. Scorpions live in a variety of environments, from tropical to desert regions. As a rule, species with larger and stronger-looking pincers tend to be safer. For example, scorpions like the Emporer Scorpion, Black Forest Scorpion (a guest on 'Clive Anderson Talks Back') and Egyptian Gold Scorpion are safe to handle and are kept as pets. Meanwhile, the Death Stalker and Fat-tailed Scorpions (which have small, narrow pincers), are dangerously venomous. The earliest known scorpion fossils are something like 400 million years old. Two ancient scorpions, Brontoscorpio and Gigantoscorpio, are thought to have each been a metre in length. Whenever I watch a scorpion, I can't help feeling I'm viewing the events of 400 million years ago.
An Emporer Scorpion called Spike, looked large and dramatic, was harmless to humans. Within in few years she had become a grandmother. RIP Spike, and her family, the last of whom died a couple of years ago
by Stormsworder November 16, 2006
Get the scorpion mug.An island off the south coast of England, the Isle of Wight is a land of beauty. It has a lot of nice seaside towns and they all have attractions. Some people equate it with being in England in the 1950s, but there's nothing wrong with that surely.
On the Isle of Wight there is a museum containing the skeleton of a Finback Whale (the second largest after the Blue Whale) which was washed up some years ago near The Needles.
by Stormsworder December 7, 2006
Get the isle of wight mug.1: A main road. When it goes through the countryside, it is often lined the various dead animals. I recently saw a badger lying there inert.
2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
Mrs Ford: Had a good day, Jim?
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
Get the highway mug.A girl (teenaged or older) who is basically still tied to her father's apron-strings (or whatever the male equivolent of apron-springs are). She is usually a spoilt brat, owns nice clothes, maybe a car, has her hair done every five minutes, all on Daddy's credit card. Dates boys she thinks are good enough for the likes of her, but if they do anything wrong then Daddy will basically be after giving them a stern talking-to (or a good hiding, depending on what sort of person Daddy is).
"There's that Daddy's Little Girl again. She just pulled up in her brand new car and has strutted in wearing designer clothes and with her expensive hair-do. Do you think she ever wonders what it's like to earn anything in life?"
by StormSworder August 19, 2006
Get the Daddy's Little Girl mug.A cock (bird) wakes up and shouts: "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A slut wakes up and shouts "Any-cock-will-do!"
A slut wakes up and shouts "Any-cock-will-do!"
Slut said to me: "The guy I went with last night insisted on caning my backside before he had sex with me. It reminded me of being sent to the headmaster's office back at school. The only difference was the headmaster never bothered with the caning bit".
by Stormsworder March 9, 2007
Get the slut mug.1: What people continue to let their dogs do despite so-called laws.
2: What the council do by putting up all those hideous new lamp posts (usually featureless metal posts with shapeless lumps of plastic on top of them, resembling giant golf clubs). Thanks to carefree, penny-pinching councils, we now have old town and village centres looking like football pitches full of floodlights. We also have landfill sights struggling to cope with the thousands of perfectly good lamp posts which have been removed due to pointless rules and regulations.
2: What the council do by putting up all those hideous new lamp posts (usually featureless metal posts with shapeless lumps of plastic on top of them, resembling giant golf clubs). Thanks to carefree, penny-pinching councils, we now have old town and village centres looking like football pitches full of floodlights. We also have landfill sights struggling to cope with the thousands of perfectly good lamp posts which have been removed due to pointless rules and regulations.
Howcome the council don't get fined for fouling the pavement. Go away and take your cheap rubbish with you.
by Stormsworder October 25, 2006
Get the fouling the pavement mug.