StormSworder's definitions
Person from the East End of London. Supposedly 'born with the sound of bow-bells'. When I used to live in Houghton Regis there were some next door, and they talked and acted nothing like the ones in Eastenders (most of whom are posh actors trying to sound working class). And let's be honest, a lot of TV producers are lovies and darlings who seem to think working class people (especially cockneys) are automatically criminals. Alright, I'm sure there are criminals in the East End. But thanks to a succession of useless, soft-head, corrupt UK governments, there are bloody villains everywhere you go in Britain. Counties around the south of England tend of be full of 'mockneys' - total arseholes who think putting on a fake cockney accent makes them sound hard (but don't tell their mummies).
Mo Slater has stolen a baby's cot and is now selling it like the heartless criminal she is. Egads! You nasty evil cockney!
Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
by StormSworder August 11, 2006
Get the cockney mug.A member of the arachnid family, one of the oldest and most successful groups of animals on this planet. In fact, some think the first animal to leave the sea was an arachnid. Scorpions have lobster-like claws and a tail which arches forward over their backs, ends in a sting. It's that sting which means they are feared and detested, but in fact only a small minority of scorpions are dangerously venomous. Scorpions live in a variety of environments, from tropical to desert regions. As a rule, species with larger and stronger-looking pincers tend to be safer. For example, scorpions like the Emporer Scorpion, Black Forest Scorpion (a guest on 'Clive Anderson Talks Back') and Egyptian Gold Scorpion are safe to handle and are kept as pets. Meanwhile, the Death Stalker and Fat-tailed Scorpions (which have small, narrow pincers), are dangerously venomous. The earliest known scorpion fossils are something like 400 million years old. Two ancient scorpions, Brontoscorpio and Gigantoscorpio, are thought to have each been a metre in length. Whenever I watch a scorpion, I can't help feeling I'm viewing the events of 400 million years ago.
An Emporer Scorpion called Spike, looked large and dramatic, was harmless to humans. Within in few years she had become a grandmother. RIP Spike, and her family, the last of whom died a couple of years ago
by Stormsworder November 16, 2006
Get the scorpion mug.An island off the south coast of England, the Isle of Wight is a land of beauty. It has a lot of nice seaside towns and they all have attractions. Some people equate it with being in England in the 1950s, but there's nothing wrong with that surely.
On the Isle of Wight there is a museum containing the skeleton of a Finback Whale (the second largest after the Blue Whale) which was washed up some years ago near The Needles.
by Stormsworder December 7, 2006
Get the isle of wight mug.1: A main road. When it goes through the countryside, it is often lined the various dead animals. I recently saw a badger lying there inert.
2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
Mrs Ford: Had a good day, Jim?
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
Get the highway mug.A pool of water used for teaching children to swim or simply for swimming for relaxation or to keep fit. Outdoor ones are best avoided in summer as they end up like a swampland with wildlife to match.
Never swallow any water in a swimming pool. Ten to one someone has gone for a piss (or worse) in the pool.
by Stormsworder May 31, 2007
Get the swimming pool mug.1: A formidable woman.
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
That mother of my girlfriend Alice is a right hellcat. Apparently she once bit a teacher's nose off after Alice was given a detention for not doing her homework.
by StormSworder August 14, 2006
Get the hellcat mug.A soap opera which used to be unmissable entertainment, but since about 2001 it has completely lost the plot. All the interesting characters have gone, replaced by people who are either irritating, obnoxious or both. I've lived where there are a lot of real eastenders and they're nothing like the ones in this soap opera. Albert Square is now populated by patronising working-class stereotypes (who are usually criminals, wife-beaters, serial killers etc). Nobody can keep their trousers/skirt on for more than five minutes, and Dirty Den suddenly rising from the grave shows how desperate the series has become, having exhausted all possible storylines years ago. Only continues because soap operas are so cheap to make. Once you've built the sets, you can use them forever, and you only need to go on location for a week twice a year and have a special effect once in a blue moon. And you can use the same storylines over and over. Eastenders always has an extra-depressing storyline at Christmas. Ho-ho-ho to you as well. By the way, Eastenders is now on four times a week, so that's even more padding to enjoy.
To hell with decent plots and characters. What we want in eastenders are headline-grabbing gimmick storylines, no matter how ridiculous they are. Lol! Eastenders was always larger-than-life, but surely there must be some limits.
by Stormsworder January 6, 2007
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