Stormsworder's definitions

Tittybangbang

Proof that the BBC couldn't give a toss about its audience. They refused to make any more series of decent shows like Red Dwarf and yet churn out dreck like this. Basically each show consists of the same characters telling the same jokes. Shows like this can work if the characters have depth to them and there's something to laugh at other than just mind-numbing catchphrases (Little Britain, for example, the funniest sketch show in many years). But here we have one-dimensional characters you couldn't care less about, swearing and obscenities as an alternative to humour and sketches like Salty Tales, the Rasta fans and the movie stars which don't seem to have any kind of point to them at all. The real shame is that, with two female leads who can do a wide range of characters and a star-studded supporting cast, this could have been great. Unfortunately someone forgot that comedy sketch shows are actually supposed to be funny.

Due to the unique way the BBC is funded by you, the licence-payer, we can show shit like Tittybangbang and don't even bother if nobody watches it because we'll still have got your money.

by Stormsworder June 22, 2009

Internet hardman

An internet hardman is someone who goes online in chat rooms, message boards and the like and insults, belittles and abuses other people. His avatar will probably be some image that gives the impression he's a hardcase, and he'll probably have some tagline like "Shut the fuck up" or "Who you dissin" or "When the master's talking you shut it". But if you were to meet this person face to face you would probably find he is either a skinny or dumpy nerd with thick glasses and his vest tucked into his skidmark-stained y-fronts, has no social life to speak of, has a relationship with a collection of porno mags and has never spoken to a girl.

"I am the Internet Hardman. You are a sad loser and an idiot".
"Fuck off back to your smelly bedroom, you no-life waste of space".

by Stormsworder June 23, 2009

Coco Bandicoot

Coco Bandicoot is a dream girl. She is intelligent, caring and tough as anything. I'm sure she could really knock Crash out. In CTTR she doesn't clobber him whenever he knocks into her because she doesn't want to lose her 'cute' image.

Coco Bandicoot can always see right through Cortex's lies. That's why he made sure she was out of the way at the beginning of Twinsanity (although it didn't quite work).

by StormSworder September 10, 2008

virgin

1: An island or other piece of land which is undiscovered.

2: A person or animal who has never had sex. This could be for a variety of reasons, but if there were more virgins there might be less STDs, less unwanted pregnancies and less babies who grow up being ignored by their uninterested parents, having no chance in life at all and ending up in the gutter or on drugs. The problem is that people are so often made to feel that admitting you're a virgin is akin to admitting you're a leper.

I'm sure most virgins have had sex on their own, if you get my drift. Despite us humans claiming we're superior to animals, primal instincts are still within us.

Schoolgirls:

Emma: So, Rachel. You had sex yet?
Rachel: No. I'm only thirteen. Anyway, I'm going to save myself for the right man.
Emma and her friends laugh and start chanting 'Rachel's a virgin'.

by StormSworder August 11, 2006

styracosaurus

The most impressive-looking of one of my favourite group of dinosaurs. This animal was about the size of an elephant, had a parrot-like beak, a long horn on its nose and a bony frill around the top of its neck with six long spikes. Has appeared in films such as Son of Kong, Valley of Gwangi and Land That Time Forgot, but sadly not in any of the Jurassic Park films.

That Styracosaurus might have kicked Gwangi's rear end if that stupid cowboy hadn't stabbed it. If you're near a flesh-eating carnivore fighting a relatively harmless plant-eater, why on earth would you try to kill the plant-eater?

by StormSworder August 11, 2006

cockney

Person from the East End of London. Supposedly 'born with the sound of bow-bells'. When I used to live in Houghton Regis there were some next door, and they talked and acted nothing like the ones in Eastenders (most of whom are posh actors trying to sound working class). And let's be honest, a lot of TV producers are lovies and darlings who seem to think working class people (especially cockneys) are automatically criminals. Alright, I'm sure there are criminals in the East End. But thanks to a succession of useless, soft-head, corrupt UK governments, there are bloody villains everywhere you go in Britain. Counties around the south of England tend of be full of 'mockneys' - total arseholes who think putting on a fake cockney accent makes them sound hard (but don't tell their mummies).

Mo Slater has stolen a baby's cot and is now selling it like the heartless criminal she is. Egads! You nasty evil cockney!

Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.

by StormSworder August 11, 2006

Dr Neo Cortex

A power-mad dwarf who is the enemy of the popular video game character Crash Bandicoot. He is bald with a black beard and an 'N' on his forehead (it's never made clear whether the 'N' is a tattoo or some kind of metal plate). When he was a child, Cortex attended the Academy of Evil where he was mercilessly bullied by the other children and by the tyrannical headmistress Madame Amberley. From an early age he developed a love of torturing and experimenting on animals. In later life he became a scientist, but was ridiculed and shunned by the scientific world for his outlandish ideas. So he enlisted the help of N.Brio, another outcast scientist, in his plan to take over the world and avenge himself against all those people who had mocked him all his life. N.Brio had built the Evolvo-Ray, a machine which could cause rapid evolution in animals. Cortex took control of it, set about turning animals into an army of soldiers. Crash Bandicoot was one of the animals he used the Evolvo-Ray on, but there was a malfunction and Crash escaped, soon became his enemy. After many defeats at the hands of Crash, his sister Coco and a mask containing the spirit of a witch-doctor, Cortex is still obsessed with ruling the world. But first he intends to destroy Crash Bandicoot....

Dr Neo Cortex: Crash, Crash, Crash. Why must you always muck in my mud? Oh look, I have a mask helping me too! We will see which one is more powerful soon enough!

by StormSworder August 13, 2006