Stormsworder's definitions

Internet hardman

An internet hardman is someone who goes online in chat rooms, message boards and the like and insults, belittles and abuses other people. His avatar will probably be some image that gives the impression he's a hardcase, and he'll probably have some tagline like "Shut the fuck up" or "Who you dissin" or "When the master's talking you shut it". But if you were to meet this person face to face you would probably find he is either a skinny or dumpy nerd with thick glasses and his vest tucked into his skidmark-stained y-fronts, has no social life to speak of, has a relationship with a collection of porno mags and has never spoken to a girl.

"I am the Internet Hardman. You are a sad loser and an idiot".
"Fuck off back to your smelly bedroom, you no-life waste of space".

by Stormsworder June 23, 2009

Tittybangbang

Proof that the BBC couldn't give a toss about its audience. They refused to make any more series of decent shows like Red Dwarf and yet churn out dreck like this. Basically each show consists of the same characters telling the same jokes. Shows like this can work if the characters have depth to them and there's something to laugh at other than just mind-numbing catchphrases (Little Britain, for example, the funniest sketch show in many years). But here we have one-dimensional characters you couldn't care less about, swearing and obscenities as an alternative to humour and sketches like Salty Tales, the Rasta fans and the movie stars which don't seem to have any kind of point to them at all. The real shame is that, with two female leads who can do a wide range of characters and a star-studded supporting cast, this could have been great. Unfortunately someone forgot that comedy sketch shows are actually supposed to be funny.

Due to the unique way the BBC is funded by you, the licence-payer, we can show shit like Tittybangbang and don't even bother if nobody watches it because we'll still have got your money.

by Stormsworder June 22, 2009

Bogey

Bogey or bogie has several meanings including:
A: Bodily mucus in the nostrils.
B: A golf score.
C: Nickname for American actor Humphrey Bogart.
D: Chassis or framework holding the wheels of a train.

"I'm a great fan of locomotives. Show me a bogey and I'm in paradise".

by Stormsworder April 5, 2009

Gordon Brown

Unelected Prime Minister of the UK who became PM by some kind of divine appointment and proceded to hand over any power left in the country to a load of unelected sharks in the EU. When he was chancellor, Brown squandered money like it was going out of style. He wasted billions on illegal invasions, stupid pet projects like the Dome, employing a legion of civil servants and quangos, and sold Britain's gold reserves when the value of gold was at an all-time low. He ended up taxing everyone to death and raiding pensions. Basically he has always wanted the job of PM, isn't bothered in the slightest if he has no idea of what he's supposed to do. Now the likes of Milliband are sharpening their knives, waiting to steal his crown, but to be honest he has nothing to worry about. His party is just a collection of gutless no-hopers who between them couldn't run a bath.

If I was a parent or teacher and I saw Gordon Brown coming towards the school playground grinning that grin of his I think I'd call the police.

by Stormsworder October 17, 2008

European Union

To quote a Star Wars character, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Originally designed to unite Europe, this organisation has mutated into a corrupt gang of power-hungry, democracy-hating con-artists who want to live like princes and be accountable to no-one. They employ people like Lord Neil Kinnock (so-called socialist who lost two elections in a row), and Norman Lamont (useless chancellor who sunk the UK into recession). Now they have complete control over the UK (thanks to our treacherous selfish government who know a gravy train when they see one) they'll be accomplishing what a certain Austrian painter set out to do seventy years ago.

Hitler: "Damn and blast! Why didn't I just wait until the forming of the European Union! I could be ruling england and all of Europe by now!"

by Stormsworder October 16, 2008

Coco Bandicoot

Coco Bandicoot is a dream girl. She is intelligent, caring and tough as anything. I'm sure she could really knock Crash out. In CTTR she doesn't clobber him whenever he knocks into her because she doesn't want to lose her 'cute' image.

Coco Bandicoot can always see right through Cortex's lies. That's why he made sure she was out of the way at the beginning of Twinsanity (although it didn't quite work).

by StormSworder September 10, 2008

ps3

The white elephant of the Sony Playstation series. Despite the fact there were riots in the streets as fans fought over it, the console is quite the most over-priced, ugly thing in video-gaming history. The control pads are wireless (I once bought wireless control pads for a console and they were a nightmare to use). They will cost gamers a fortune in batteries. Sony have already, rather unwisely, announced the PS4, the PS3 is not compatible with PS2 or PS1 games, and the PS3's game line-up is frankly pathetic.

According to Sony, the PS3 will have "4D graphics". Meaning they can travel through time? The PS3 can also fly you to any planet of your choice, cure all known diseases, work out how humanity can exist without wars, famine or suffering and ensure peace and love reign forever.

by Stormsworder October 30, 2007