Stormsworder's definitions
Proof that you don't need talent to make it in this world. Mel Gibson has made a fortune simply through looking nice. He is a rubbish actor and a rubbish director, and now he is being forced to resort to blatant xenophobic propaganda in order to make anyone notice his so-called movies.
Mel Gibson should have been a Nazi propagandist. They used to churn out films filled with this kind of propaganda and hatred against other countries and Jewish people.
by Stormsworder November 24, 2006
Get the mel gibson mug.One of evolution's greatest success stories. There are spiders all over the world, and the oldest known fossil spider is 380 million years old. Spiders are eight-legged and carnivorous, use silk in a variety of ways depending on the species. Many spin cobwebs to catch prey, larger spiders line the edge of their burrows with web. The bolas spider is named because it throws a line of web ending in a sticky lump to catch prey. Spiders inspire fear and revulsion, quite undeserved, but probably not helped by years of movies telling us spiders are humanity's enemies. Schools are not much more helpful. I still remember a science teacher telling us a black widow was the size of a human hand, which is rubbish. There are some dangerously venomous spiders, like widow spiders, funnelweb spiders, brown recluse spiders and brazilian wandering spiders, but they are a tiny minority of the huge number of spiders in the world. Just to drag some widely-held beliefs into the light of reality:
1: Spiders are not watching you. Most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: Spiders do not come out of plug-holes. A spider in the bath has fallen down there and can't get out due to the bath's slippery sides.
3: Large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. In fact nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: Women are not automatically scared of spiders. In fact most of the calls the British Tarantula Society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.
1: Spiders are not watching you. Most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: Spiders do not come out of plug-holes. A spider in the bath has fallen down there and can't get out due to the bath's slippery sides.
3: Large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. In fact nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: Women are not automatically scared of spiders. In fact most of the calls the British Tarantula Society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.
Hysterical person: Help! I saw a spider! I'm not going to bed! It might be there waiting for me!
Other person: What makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?
Other person: What makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?
by StormSworder August 15, 2006
Get the spider mug.A threat to road safety, these kinds of so-called drivers spend their time wolf-whistling at women, making stupid gestures with their hands at passers-by and generally carrying on as though they're on the dodgems. They can be found in vans of any colour, or other vehicles such as lorries, but the white van seems to have become traditional with people whose IQs are lower than their shoe size. They are often fat and reckon they're well'ard and'll give yer a slap, yer know wot I mean, mate?
A short guide to white van man hand signals.
Middle finger = "This is the number of my IQ"
Hand-cranking gesture = "This is what I do often because I can't pull a bird on account of too many of them having a brain".
Honking their horn = "I'm a complete inadequate and my vehicle's an altermnative to a dick".
Middle finger = "This is the number of my IQ"
Hand-cranking gesture = "This is what I do often because I can't pull a bird on account of too many of them having a brain".
Honking their horn = "I'm a complete inadequate and my vehicle's an altermnative to a dick".
by Stormsworder January 6, 2007
Get the white van man mug.An attempt to create a 'comic relief' character which backfired badly, turning the Star Wars film Phantom Menace into little more than a cross between a farce and a special-effects laden episode of Love Thy Neighbour. Binks is an alien who, for reasons I'm sure won't be apparent to anyone but all-seeing higher beings, talks like a dated black stereotype. Ah, but C3P0 and R2-D2 were comical characters, the fanboys point out. Yes, but they actually served some function in A New Hope, and if they're comic characters then why do we need yet another 'comic' character.
Jar Jar Binks, just one of the many things wrong with a film with was nothing really more than one long advert for toys, video games, happy meals and various other tat. But it's still worth mentioning that Jar Jar Binks is a shit creation and a total wanker.
by Stormsworder August 2, 2007
Get the Jar Jar Binks mug.A power-mad dwarf who is the enemy of the popular video game character Crash Bandicoot. He is bald with a black beard and an 'N' on his forehead (it's never made clear whether the 'N' is a tattoo or some kind of metal plate). When he was a child, Cortex attended the Academy of Evil where he was mercilessly bullied by the other children and by the tyrannical headmistress Madame Amberley. From an early age he developed a love of torturing and experimenting on animals. In later life he became a scientist, but was ridiculed and shunned by the scientific world for his outlandish ideas. So he enlisted the help of N.Brio, another outcast scientist, in his plan to take over the world and avenge himself against all those people who had mocked him all his life. N.Brio had built the Evolvo-Ray, a machine which could cause rapid evolution in animals. Cortex took control of it, set about turning animals into an army of soldiers. Crash Bandicoot was one of the animals he used the Evolvo-Ray on, but there was a malfunction and Crash escaped, soon became his enemy. After many defeats at the hands of Crash, his sister Coco and a mask containing the spirit of a witch-doctor, Cortex is still obsessed with ruling the world. But first he intends to destroy Crash Bandicoot....
Dr Neo Cortex: Crash, Crash, Crash. Why must you always muck in my mud? Oh look, I have a mask helping me too! We will see which one is more powerful soon enough!
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
Get the Dr Neo Cortex mug.Dark-tinted glasses, worn for a variety of reasons.
1: If it's a bright day.
2: If you have been given a black eye and want to conceal it.
3: You are making a (not-very-good) attempt to conceal your identity.
4: You are a complete tit who thinks wearing sunglasses makes you look like a gangster or a pop star or something.
1: If it's a bright day.
2: If you have been given a black eye and want to conceal it.
3: You are making a (not-very-good) attempt to conceal your identity.
4: You are a complete tit who thinks wearing sunglasses makes you look like a gangster or a pop star or something.
"Why does Sunglasses Roy wear shades even when it's dark? Does he think it's cool?"
"Er, no. He's actually an alien with red eyes and doesn't want anyone to see them".
"Er, no. He's actually an alien with red eyes and doesn't want anyone to see them".
by Stormsworder April 8, 2007
Get the sunglasses mug.This is basically what happens in a number of situations involving a Daddy's Little Girl.
1: The girl's boyfriend may have got her pregnant, and maybe shunned responsibility.
2: The girl may have finished with her boyfriend but he isn't getting the message.
3: The father is over-protective and has found out some boy has so much as looked at his little girl.
What the revenge involves will depend on what Daddy is like. The lad who has wronged his daughter in whatever way could end up with a thrashing, an appearance in court, a shotgun up the nose, or forced into a marriage that wily little minx has planned all along (you didn't really believe her when she said she was safe for a few days, did you?)
1: The girl's boyfriend may have got her pregnant, and maybe shunned responsibility.
2: The girl may have finished with her boyfriend but he isn't getting the message.
3: The father is over-protective and has found out some boy has so much as looked at his little girl.
What the revenge involves will depend on what Daddy is like. The lad who has wronged his daughter in whatever way could end up with a thrashing, an appearance in court, a shotgun up the nose, or forced into a marriage that wily little minx has planned all along (you didn't really believe her when she said she was safe for a few days, did you?)
Daddy's Little Girl: "I want us to get married, Joe.
Joe: Married? No, sorry. I do like you, but I wasn't planning....
DLG: But I'm pregnant.
Joe: Well, I'm sorry, but it was your idea not to take precautions that night.
DLG: Did I mention my Daddy boxes for Southampton? Yes, he's just as fit and strong as when he was eighteen. Hell of a punch he's got on him. Oh yes. He'd do anything for his little girl.
Joe: But wait....I....wasn't....
His choice - Daddy's Revenge or marriage to someone who plans to take him for every penny he's got and then dump him in the gutter without a copper coin to his name.
Joe: Married? No, sorry. I do like you, but I wasn't planning....
DLG: But I'm pregnant.
Joe: Well, I'm sorry, but it was your idea not to take precautions that night.
DLG: Did I mention my Daddy boxes for Southampton? Yes, he's just as fit and strong as when he was eighteen. Hell of a punch he's got on him. Oh yes. He'd do anything for his little girl.
Joe: But wait....I....wasn't....
His choice - Daddy's Revenge or marriage to someone who plans to take him for every penny he's got and then dump him in the gutter without a copper coin to his name.
by StormSworder August 20, 2006
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