Stormsworder's definitions

encyclopedia dramatica

Supposedly an online encyclopedia, this is little more than a haven for porn, obscenities and rather childish insults. Presumably someone who was banned from wikipedia for thinking crude language and playground behaviour was an alternative to facts or humour has set up his own website in which he can be spiteful and pathetic until the cows come home.

Man #1: "I want to start posting things to an online website, but unfortunately I have no knowledge about anything and have the sense of humour of a boat hook".
Mam 2#: "Never mind. There's always encyclopedia dramatica".

by Stormsworder June 7, 2007

education

Education is what the current UK government and its puppet-masters want only the children of the rich to have. Britain is in very real danger of ending up with an entire generation of uneducated underclass. The middle school I went to years ago was practically a borstal, where bullying went ignored, where teachers either blamed the victims or carried on smoking their cigarettes. The deputy headmaster was a stroppy, loud-mouthed oaf and the headmistress was a poisonous old witch who threw people out of assembly for not standing up quickly enough. People were reprimanded for being late, but I can remember being sent to see the deputy head who told me off (naughty boy, arriving late indeed, etc) and then arriving at class for registration to find out the teacher hadn't arrived yet. Said teacher was forever late, and we had to stand outside the building waiting for her to arrive to let us into class no matter what the weather was like. Once she turned up, tardy as ever, saying "you're late, class". In another school everyone was called to assambly once to be given a stern lecture about bad language. That had real moral authority, considering more than one teacher used the f-word in front of the class. I don't know quite what those schools are like by now. I shudder to think. I know of teachers who say how impossible to teach anyone. What with the 'rights without responsibility' culture which goes hand-in-hand with New Labour, no teacher is allowed to reprimand any bully or disruptive individual.

So I'm sure school teaches us. It teaches us that authority is a case of hypocrisy and double-standards, that the guilty are rewarded and the innocent made to feel they are worthless scum.

These days standards have fallen to the point where this country's education system is the laughing stock of the world. Once it was the envy of everyone. People with the money to do so all used to come to the UK to be educated in our universities. Now, thanks to a succession of useless governments, everyone in the UK with the money to do so goes abroad to university. Tony Bliar and his masters con the public into thinking the UK's children are educated by making exams so easy a 5-year-old can attain a dozen A-stars (despite calling for education to be down to the lowest denominator, New Labour ministers send their own children to expensive private schools). And only the rich can go to university. Anyone else will find themselves in debt for the rest of their natural lives.

"Here's a piece of education. This school was named after a lord mayor".
"Good grief. If he was alive today he'd sue the place for every penny. Fancy having your name associated with a dump like that".

by Stormsworder November 16, 2006

creationism

This is a belief which was invented to explain why we are all here. Basically it states that the world was created by some greater being (God). But then who created God? The theory of Creationsim falls flat through stating the Earth is thousands of years old, despite the fact it was proved to be billions of years old through scientific research. Creationists mock the theory of evolution and condemn the teaching of evolution at school. Evolution seems like the most sensible theory to me. Ah, but then howcome there are so many gaps in the evolutionary pathway? For one thing, it is a real fluke that an animal survives in fossil form, a billion-to-one chance requiring exactly the right geological conditions. Yes, we have a lot of skeletons in museums, but they are nothing when you consider how many animals have existed over the history of time. For another thing, it has been suggested that evolution takes place in jumps rather than gradually (a new, more evolved species suddenly starts appearing, gradualy takes over the older species). As for the teaching of evolution at school, it is taught as a theory. You don't have to believe in it. On the other hand, teaching Creationism at school involves indoctrinating children. I still remember being told that "God is always watching us and can punish us if we act or think wrongly". It makes me laugh when certain Creationists complain about CCTV cameras everywhere or the government spying on us all. Beliefs like Creationism were the Big Brother and the CCTV cameras of their day, were used to control the working classes. Now George W Bush is talking about teaching Creationism in schools in the USA instead of evolution. I can't help feeling all he really wants to do is create a brainwashed army to fight a religious war against Muslims.

A certain Creationism-believing journalist equates anyone who believes in evolution with genocidal murderers, tells us how narrow-minded they are. That's funny, because the religious people I've met are some of the most narrow-minded, snobbish, hypoctrical bigots I've ever had the misfortune the come across.

by Stormsworder December 7, 2006

George Bush

George W Bush is a man who has made more false claims about his past than Jeffrey Archer. When he was governer of Texas he sent the state police out to arrest peaceful demonstrators. His company 'quietly' bought up over 200 anti-Bush Internet domain names. He has given large amounts of state money to repay certain people for contributing large amounts of cash to his campaign and to repay others for making him personally rich through insider business deals. He made personal profits from failing oil companies, sold 60% of his oil stock for over $840,000 two months before Kuwait was invaded (how very well timed!) and he used government coercion to make him a private fortune. He and his lapdog Blair have between them brought us to the brink of global war, have taken away rights in the name of anti-terrorism whilst doing nothing about the real terrorists. After the capture of Saddam (whose trial is a ridiculous farce, with the ex-dictator running rings around everyone), it's now been realised that Saddam was the only thing keeping Iran in check. Let's be honest, the only mistake Saddam made was invading a country which supplied America with cheap oil. Our 'allies' in the Gulf Wars themselves have terrible human rights records and have invaded other countries. Every time Bush opens his mouth I wonder what half-educated Stan Laurel-type blitherings are going to come out of it next. George W Bush is the final proof, if any were needed, that the world is run by big business and not politicians, and big businessmen don't want anyone with an IQ in power in case he starts thinking for himself.

George Bush: "People misunderestimate me".
"More and more of our imports are coming from a abroad"
"That was the most logical and common sensical thing to do"

by StormSworder August 13, 2006

scum

A sub-species which is becoming all too common in the UK thanks to the dumbing down of the education system and the fact that the police spend their time either filling in paperwork or going after motorists. Examples of scum can be found everywhere, from the highest to the lowest parts of society. Politicians, big businessmen and the like are more corrupt and self-serving than ever. In the town where I live, psychiatrists have walked away from causing serious head injuries and from telling their patients they're possessed by ghosts. Meanwhile, it is dangerous to go out onto the streets after dark in many towns or cities. This is mainly due to brain-dead head-bangers who patrol the streets looking for prey, doing in gangs or or in pairs what they wouldn't have the guts to do on their own. Most people grow out of schoolboy-type behaviour, but there is a certain breed who seem unable to do so. They remain as yobs well into late middle-age and beyond. Indeed, I was minding my own business when someone started hooting their car-horn at me. When I gave them the finger, they stopped their car (at a crossroad, causing a hold-up). I was then threatened by some fat old git in dungarees. When I failed to be scared by his threat, he threatened me again but this time added an 'f-word', as though that made him sound scarier or more grown-up. I still failed to be scared, and he gave up and went on his way. People like this deserve only pity. And that's another thing. Scum of all ages seem to think swearing is both grown-up and the height of comedy. Their world-beaters are all over public toilet walls, galvanised-metal lamp posts and the like. They also shout things from cars as they drive by, big brave men that they are. Their girlfriends are usually brainless bimbos who think crime is glamorous and are turned on by thuggish behaviour.

New Labour are going to start coming down hard on scum. They're going to get women in black leather to come to parliament and give all the NL MPs a good spanking.

by Stormsworder October 25, 2006

European Union

To quote a Star Wars character, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Originally designed to unite Europe, this organisation has mutated into a corrupt gang of power-hungry, democracy-hating con-artists who want to live like princes and be accountable to no-one. They employ people like Lord Neil Kinnock (so-called socialist who lost two elections in a row), and Norman Lamont (useless chancellor who sunk the UK into recession). Now they have complete control over the UK (thanks to our treacherous selfish government who know a gravy train when they see one) they'll be accomplishing what a certain Austrian painter set out to do seventy years ago.

Hitler: "Damn and blast! Why didn't I just wait until the forming of the European Union! I could be ruling england and all of Europe by now!"

by Stormsworder October 16, 2008

Cherie Blair

The wife of our 'esteemed' Prime Minister, Cherie Blair (formerly Booth) met Tony (formerly Anthony) at a balloon party. Since her husband came to power, Miss Cruella de Ville has wasted thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money on her hairdressing. She charged a charity almost all of the money it had made just for standing up and burbling on about absolutely nothing for five minutes (the charity went belly-up as a result). She now considers herself superior to the Queen, and is making a fortune from her position as the PM's wife. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she's forced her husband into staying on as PM when it's clear to everyone he should have resigned long ago.

Cherie Blair gets up on stage and blubs about how she's missing her son who's at university.

Cherie, what about all the people your husband has sent to Iraq to fight and maybe die in a war just to inflate his ego! They're all someone's sons!

by StormSworder August 13, 2006