StormSworder's definitions

boris

1: A name associated with Russia for some reason or another.

2: A name sometimes given to tarantulas. Probably comes from the song 'Boris the Spider'.

"Don't call that spider Hairy. His name is Boris".

"It is? Does he come to you when you call his name?"

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

toilet

A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.

In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.

by Stormsworder May 31, 2007

pasadena opossum

1: An opossum is a marsupial from the United States. A Pasadena Opossum is presumably one from Pasadena. There are three cities in the US with this name, one in Texas, one in California and another in Maryland.

2: A character from the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. Pasadena is a tall slim female created by eccentric scientist Dr Van Clutch to compete in cart races around his theme park. Pasadena has a Texan accent and her long tail is used as a third hand. She comes across as a bit of a stereotype valley girl. It is obvious she fancies Crash, though the feeling is not mutual.

"That Pasadena Opossum is just gorgeous. I wouldn't mind going round the track with her a few times".

Seek urgent help.

by Stormsworder January 12, 2007

lamp post

A structure used to hold a lantern in place with the intention of lighting roads, footpaths, car parks or other such areas at night. They generally consist of a post (or 'column'), and an arm (or 'bracket') onto which the lantern is inserted. The first 'lamp posts' probably consisted of burning torches on top of wooden poles around villages. Gas lamps were originally used in modern society, but their light had a very limited range, and they had to be lit by hand every night. In the twentieth century electric lamp posts became commonplace, are now to be found in towns, villages, cities, on motorways and other main roads everywhere. Originally they were made of cast-iron, but throughout the decades lighter metal lamp posts gradually came into use. Concrete lamp posts became popular during the fifties, as they did not need to be painted and were sturdy. These kinds of lamp posts (which are the best in my personal opinion, especially the older, more ornate ones)have concrete brackets with metal pipes inside them. Although there were concrete lamp posts before the war, the shortage of metal during and after the war probably helped their popularity. In recent years, however, concrete lamp posts are all being removed due to corrosion or the worry they could be dangerous if someone crashed into one and it fell on either them or a passer-by. (It is actually the metal piping inside the bracket, along with the bolts holding it to the post, which rust, buckling out of shape and cracking the concrete. If it wasn't for this you could probably have a concrete lamp post which lasted forever). Metal and plastic lamp posts are now in common use, many without brackets.

They are now putting modern (albeit cheap) lamp posts up all around the towns and villages. This has the negative effect of making the place look tacky and detracting from the beauty of the place.

by Stormsworder January 12, 2007

crash bandicoot

Star of many video games, Crash Bandicoot was one of the victims of the power-mad Dr Neo Cortex, who tried to cause rapid evolution in animals in order to turn them into his army of heavies. Crash, together with his sister Coco Bandicoot and their friend Crunch Bandicoot, are now dedicated to putting a spoke in every wheel of evil plotting Cortex dreams up. The best games in Crash's history, in my view, are 'Cortex Strikes Back' and 'Twinsanity'. In the latter, Crash was forced to team up with Cortex in order to foil the plans of two power-mad birds (who were former pets of Cortex).

Cortex: I'll destroy you and take over this world.

Crash Bandicoot: Uh....

Cortex: I shall be the supreme being of the universe!

Crash: Uh....

Cortex: You've a real way with words, do you know that?!

by StormSworder August 13, 2006

halloween

This was once a pagan festival. Now it is an excuse for kids to come round in silly 'horror' costumes demanding money or sweets, sometimes throwing eggs at your house if you don't give them anything. Was also used as the title and setting for a series of films.

A couple of ghosties started fighting on halloween. They were pulled off by the ghoulies.

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

Coco Bandicoot

Coco Bandicoot is a dream girl. She is intelligent, caring and tough as anything. I'm sure she could really knock Crash out. In CTTR she doesn't clobber him whenever he knocks into her because she doesn't want to lose her 'cute' image.

Coco Bandicoot can always see right through Cortex's lies. That's why he made sure she was out of the way at the beginning of Twinsanity (although it didn't quite work).

by StormSworder September 10, 2008