SkidMarkyMark's definitions

johnny marzetti

n. A casserole composed of low-grade ground beef, onions, crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce, and pasta, common in Ohio elementary school cafeterias. The most vile substance ever served for lunch. Trivially easy to prepare, and cheap to make it is a favorite of school administrators.

My first experience with johnny marzetti was also my last. After that, I had my mom pack my lunch for me (in a Star Wars lunchbox).

by SkidMarkyMark October 18, 2006

wedding ring

n. A magical artifact that provides the wearer protection from receiving oral sex.

It's not just a wedding ring, it's a +5 Ring of Protection against oral sex.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

johnny package

n. A generic term that refers to any bland airheaded male, like a frat boy or underwear model. His signficant other is named "Muffy Imeasy."

Whoah! Check out Johnny Package and Muffy Imeasy over there at the GAP.

by SkidMarkyMark May 12, 2006

rubber peter

n. A dildo. A peter made of rubber.

In a classic "Brady Bunch" episode, Alice gets Peter to help her move a rubber tree plant into the bedroom, to get it out of the way so she can vacuum. They accidentally get locked in, and call to Bobby for help. He can't get the door open, so he runs to find his mom, and when he finally does he's out of breath and all he can get out is, "Mom...Alice...in the bedroom...rubber...Peter." And Mrs. Brady thinks Bobby has seen Alice masturbating with a rubber peter. Mrs. Brady screams, "Jesus Fucking Christ" and goes running off to the bedroom and kicks down the door. When she realizes her mistake, they all have a good laugh at it. This was the best Brady Bunch episode ever.

by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006

dragon wagon

n. A car--generally either a hybrid, a 15-year-old station wagon, or a rustbucket Geo--that features this bumper sticker on the rear:

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."

It's actually legal to run this car off the road, pull the driver out, and beat them to death.

I saw a dragon wagon on the freeway the other day, so I killed the occupant, who was one of those annoying SCA types, before he could breed.

by SkidMarkyMark February 1, 2007

fruit salad

n. An item rumored to exist at certain parties, consisting of a bowl filled with random pills. Partygoers dip into the bowl and experience random effects.

Back in the '80s--the "Just Say No" era--in elementary school health class, they warned us of the dangers of fruit salad. Of course, such a thing has never existed, but the important thing was to scare us away from drugs.

by SkidMarkyMark August 2, 2006

jackpack

n. The bag in which Jack Bauer carries his gun, PDA, ammo, cell phone, duct tape, knife, scope, etc. It is NOT a man purse.

The terrorists thought they had Bauer at last, but he pulled a bazooka out of his jackpack.

by SkidMarkyMark May 12, 2006