SkidMarkyMark's definitions

Starbucks cumshot

n. An alternate way to refer to the "Starbucks doubleshot" beverage; a 6.5-oz can of espresso and cream. So called because, despite the fact that it is not carbonated, when opened it tends to eject some of its contents directly into one's face or onto one's clothes in a manner not unlike that of a cumshot in a porno.

I shouldn't have worn that little blue dress today. My morning Starbucks cumshot deposited a stain on it.

by SkidMarkyMark July 31, 2006

hot poops

n. The condition, brought on by eating contaminated food, that results in hot liquid feces spraying uncontrollably from one's ass; diarrhea brought about by e. coli or salmonella. Used by Cotton Hill in a "King of the Hill" episode.

Watch out! They got that water down in Mexico that'll give you the hot poops if you drink it.

by SkidMarkyMark August 2, 2006

fruit salad

n. An item rumored to exist at certain parties, consisting of a bowl filled with random pills. Partygoers dip into the bowl and experience random effects.

Back in the '80s--the "Just Say No" era--in elementary school health class, they warned us of the dangers of fruit salad. Of course, such a thing has never existed, but the important thing was to scare us away from drugs.

by SkidMarkyMark August 2, 2006

kentucky doorbell

To drive up to someone's house or apartment and proceed to honk the horn until they come out, rather than going to all the trouble of exiting the vehicle and going to the door.

Cletus across the street had a friend that would ring the Kentucky doorbell each morning at 5:00 am. I say "had" because me and my tire iron had a little chat with him.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

wedding ring

n. A magical artifact that provides the wearer protection from receiving oral sex.

It's not just a wedding ring, it's a +5 Ring of Protection against oral sex.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

OMG! Ponies!

A non sequitur interjection meant to imply ADD (attention deficit disorder). So called because it seems the stereotypical thing a young girl might scream when having her attention distracted by ponies. Common in many online forums.

Wow, I just read in the Washington Post about a secret US plan to attack China. Now this would obviously be a terrible--OMG! Ponies!!!

by SkidMarkyMark January 15, 2007

boortz

n. Small nuggets of squishy poo accidentally fired into one's undies after pushing a fart too hard. Name refers not only to the sound made by the poo, but also to a shithead clueless radio host.

Ralph Wiggum hiked up his trousers, stuck his finger in his nose and said, "I made boortz in my pants!"

by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006