n. A dildo. A
peter made of rubber.
In a classic "Brady Bunch" episode, Alice gets Peter to help her move a rubber tree plant into the bedroom, to get it out of the way so she can vacuum. They accidentally get locked in, and call to Bobby for help. He can't get the door open, so he runs to find his mom, and when he finally does he's out of breath and all he can get out is, "Mom...Alice...in the bedroom...rubber...Peter." And Mrs. Brady thinks Bobby has seen Alice masturbating with a rubber peter. Mrs. Brady screams, "Jesus Fucking Christ" and goes running off to the bedroom and kicks down the door. When she realizes her mistake, they all have a good laugh at it. This was the best Brady Bunch episode ever.
To drive up to someone's house or apartment and proceed to honk the horn until they come out, rather than going to all the trouble of exiting the vehicle and going to the door.
Cletus across the street had a friend that would ring the Kentucky doorbell each morning at 5:00 am. I say "had" because me and my tire iron had a little chat with him.
Buy a
kentucky doorbell
mug!
n. The condition, brought on by eating contaminated food, that results in hot liquid feces spraying uncontrollably from one's ass; diarrhea brought about by e. coli or salmonella. Used by Cotton Hill in a "King of the Hill" episode.
Watch out! They got that water down in Mexico that'll give you the hot poops if you drink it.
n. An item rumored to exist at certain parties, consisting of a bowl filled with random pills. Partygoers dip into the bowl and experience random effects.
Back in the '80s--the "Just Say No" era--in elementary school health class, they warned us of the dangers of fruit salad. Of course, such a thing has never existed, but the important thing was to scare us away from drugs.
n. The breast equivalent of googly eyes. Think of the eyes on a muppet: protruding spherical orbs that bounce and sway. Googly boobs are rather large (D-cup or larger), have just enough sag to allow them to sway back and forth pendulously, but aren't mushy enough to be described as
jiggly.
When Brandee took the stage and doffed her top I was completely transfixed by her googly boobs.
n. A female with enormous (bigger than DDD) tits.
Whoah! Check out Gazongazilla over there with the 44-FFs!
adj. The appearance and actions of a poor, inbred, usually white-trash person. Scuddy people live in trailers or backwoods shacks with no electricity or running water. Adults subsist on a diet of cigarettes, lite beer, and welfare cheese. Children subsist on a single meal per day: school lunch, with a particular affinity for tater tots. Because they tend not to have running water, scuddy people tend to smell horrible. This is a particularly popular term in Southern Ohio.
Once, in Junior High, I saw this scuddy kid dump Farley Wireman's tater-tots on the floor. He responded by beating him. Alas, Farley was so scuddy the blood remained on his sleeve for the remainder of the year. That was his only shirt.
