SkidMarkyMark's definitions

dragon wagon

n. A car--generally either a hybrid, a 15-year-old station wagon, or a rustbucket Geo--that features this bumper sticker on the rear:

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."

It's actually legal to run this car off the road, pull the driver out, and beat them to death.

I saw a dragon wagon on the freeway the other day, so I killed the occupant, who was one of those annoying SCA types, before he could breed.

by SkidMarkyMark February 1, 2007

kentucky doorbell

To drive up to someone's house or apartment and proceed to honk the horn until they come out, rather than going to all the trouble of exiting the vehicle and going to the door.

Cletus across the street had a friend that would ring the Kentucky doorbell each morning at 5:00 am. I say "had" because me and my tire iron had a little chat with him.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

jackpack

n. The bag in which Jack Bauer carries his gun, PDA, ammo, cell phone, duct tape, knife, scope, etc. It is NOT a man purse.

The terrorists thought they had Bauer at last, but he pulled a bazooka out of his jackpack.

by SkidMarkyMark May 12, 2006

roganing

v. Looking at the male genitals of an animal with barely suppressed homoerotic lust. Named for the way the host of "Fear Factor" looks longingly at horse dongs and pig testicles as he make the contestants chow down on them.

I saw a guy at the county fair roganing the schlongs on the horses.

by SkidMarkyMark May 8, 2006

boortz

n. Small nuggets of squishy poo accidentally fired into one's undies after pushing a fart too hard. Name refers not only to the sound made by the poo, but also to a shithead clueless radio host.

Ralph Wiggum hiked up his trousers, stuck his finger in his nose and said, "I made boortz in my pants!"

by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006

wedding ring

n. A magical artifact that provides the wearer protection from receiving oral sex.

It's not just a wedding ring, it's a +5 Ring of Protection against oral sex.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

johnny marzetti

n. A casserole composed of low-grade ground beef, onions, crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce, and pasta, common in Ohio elementary school cafeterias. The most vile substance ever served for lunch. Trivially easy to prepare, and cheap to make it is a favorite of school administrators.

My first experience with johnny marzetti was also my last. After that, I had my mom pack my lunch for me (in a Star Wars lunchbox).

by SkidMarkyMark October 18, 2006