48 definitions by SkidMarkyMark

freedom baggie

n. A one-quart, clear plastic bag into which you place your 100-mL bottles of liquids in order to carry them aboard an airplane. A magical device that somehow prevents you from blowing up a plane with solid explosives, or emptying all your little bottles into one big one. Security theater in action.

You can take away my Fourth Amendment right to be free of illegal search and seizure, but you'll never take away my freedom baggie.

by SkidMarkyMark May 27, 2008

jerky treats

n. Hand jobs. Term first heard on C.S.I. on 1 Feb 2007. Plays off the phrase jerk off, while managing to sound innocuous--like a dog treat.

"Did you have sex with the clients?"
"No, just jerky treats."

by SkidMarkyMark February 2, 2007

spankables

n. Pornography, specifically magazines or DVDs/video tapes. Used by Greg on an episode of "C.S.I."

I found someone's stash of spankables.

by SkidMarkyMark May 5, 2006

Muffy Imeasy

n. A generic term that describes any bland, vapid female, like a flight attendant or sorority girl. Her significant other is named "Johnny Package."

Whoah! Check out Johnny Package and Muffy Imeasy over there at the GAP.

by SkidMarkyMark May 2, 2006

welfare line

n. A reciprocating-type lawn sprinkler. So called because the noise it makes is similar to the ethnic composition of a line of folks waiting for their welfare payment: "spic - spic - spic - spic - spic - spic - spic - spic ...chink! Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga...." (Just say it to yourself and you'll get it.)

Gotta go to the hardware store and buy me a welfare line if I want to get this lawn watered.

by SkidMarkyMark August 29, 2006

rubber peter

n. A dildo. A peter made of rubber.

In a classic "Brady Bunch" episode, Alice gets Peter to help her move a rubber tree plant into the bedroom, to get it out of the way so she can vacuum. They accidentally get locked in, and call to Bobby for help. He can't get the door open, so he runs to find his mom, and when he finally does he's out of breath and all he can get out is, "Mom...Alice...in the bedroom...rubber...Peter." And Mrs. Brady thinks Bobby has seen Alice masturbating with a rubber peter. Mrs. Brady screams, "Jesus Fucking Christ" and goes running off to the bedroom and kicks down the door. When she realizes her mistake, they all have a good laugh at it. This was the best Brady Bunch episode ever.

by SkidMarkyMark June 3, 2006

tardation

n. The set of all things which are retarded. Used as part of an epithet when one observes something retarded going on.

What in tardation is going on in here??!?!

by SkidMarkyMark June 3, 2006