8 definitions by ScabNainz

1
n: An assessment of, and often delusional attempt to correct, one's shortcomings. Typically made on a day that is arbitrary except that it begins a new year on the standard Gregorian Calendar. Given the arbitrary nature of the date and the sudden change of lifestyle demanded by most resolutions, it should not be surprising that most resolutions are abandonded by the start of the next year. Fortunately the next New Year gives a person the opportunity to make the same resolution again.
A common New Year's resolution: get fit, get thin, get hot, get laid.

A common outcome: stay out of shape, stay fat, stay ugly, masturbate.
by ScabNainz January 19, 2006
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2
1. Beer of Czech origin, aka Budvar. Characterized by full, rich flavor and generally pleasurable drinking experience.
2. Beer of American origin. Gives drinker the impression of having received a golden shower in his mouth.
As the bartender poured out the American Budweiser into my glass, I couldn't help but feel like a doctor receiving a urine sample from a patient.
by ScabNainz January 13, 2005
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3
Baseball expansion team that first played in the 1993 season. First 12 seasons characterized by solid offence at home, anemic offence on the road, mediocre to horrible pitching, and bonehead General Managers.
Thanks to Dealin' Dan O'Dowd, the Colorado Rockies will be paying Mike Hampton and Denny Neagle well into the next decade.
by ScabNainz January 13, 2005
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4
Nickname of future hall-of-famer and K/9IP king Randy Johnson, thus giving him the distinction of being the only baseball player to have a double entendre for both his given name and his nickname.
Randy's pitching makes every pitching fanatic's unit big.
by ScabNainz January 31, 2005
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5
n.
1. An institution where people pay for the privilege of torturing themselves through bodily exertion in the name of physical fitness. Torture implements in most gymnasiums include freeweights, excercise bicycles, circuit training machines, rowers, etc. Attendees seem to enjoy the fact that not since the Spanish Inquisition has there been such a wide selection of torture implements available, as the success of a gymnasium is correlated partly to the amount of equipment it has to offer.
2. A moneymaking enterprise that offers a cheap, long-term membership deal right around New Year's to entice January Joiners bent on fulfilling their New Year's resolutions. The amount of revenue these fickle individuals generate for the fitness industry is unfathomable.
I only phrase definition (1) like this because I'm paying 69 Euro/month to put myself in pain. The gymnasium's my dominatrix. I wonder why no one else uses a Gimp outfit for their workout gear, and why I get such odd looks when I do.

2: (Suckers...)
by ScabNainz January 19, 2006
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6
n. American amateur raceway. Frequently becomes a facilitator for natural selection. Unfortunately, Interstate "natural selections" often involve normal drivers who happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Syn: "Darwin's Little Helper"
Wow, those teens flipped that car while going 90 on the Interstate and weren't wearing seat belts. I guess they won't be breeding.
by ScabNainz January 31, 2005
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7
The best argument for the legalization of postpartum abortion
Syn: see abomination, Antichrist, goatfucker, hack
Had Kenny G been around for the Inquisition, you can bet his music would have been one of the most commonly used and brutal torture implements.
by ScabNainz January 13, 2005
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