Definitions by QuacksO
U.S.S. Juan Valdez
The infamous cargo-carrier that ran aground (due to Captain Joseph Hazlenut's having downed one too many cups of joe) in Alaska and spilled thousands of pounds of Colombian coffee into the bay, giving the surrounding wildlife a major case of the caffeine-jitters and thus causing them to behave really weird for weeks afterwards. The fiasco caused a major "media-buzz", as well.
After the U.S.S. Juan Valdez accident, coffee-transporting cargo-vessels were required to pack their coffee in separate thick-walled metal shipping-containers rather than just bulk-filling their holds with the dry product, to reduce the chance of the coffee's just spilling right out into the ocean if the ship's hull is breached.
U.S.S. Juan Valdez by QuacksO August 5, 2018
Wiccapedia
If the Puritans had had access to Wiccapedia "way back when", they would have been able to be more familiar with/educated about the whole subject, and then perhaps the infamous trials in Salem, Massachusetts would never have taken place.
Wiccapedia by QuacksO August 4, 2018
will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke
One of the "prime" features that any sensible-minded gal --- especially one with one or more furry feline companions --- secretly jopes to see in a guy's "about me" details when perusing the personals ads.
Ladies, if a dude whom you're dating treats you respectfully and is a cheerful-natured helper and therefore "will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke" without grumbling or without even being asked to do it, hang onto him for dear life --- he's d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y a "keeper", hands down!
will unclog a toilet and clean up cat-puke by QuacksO August 4, 2018
missiletoe
Refers to either of two incendiary-rocket-related definitions:
(1) The characteristic bruising/blistering suffered by careless/clumsy armory-workers who repeatedly drop said ordnance while wearing inadequate shoe-protection.
(2) A spherical-shaped cluster of explosives which is hung from the ceiling at a terrorists' end-of-year party; it's the only way to get these hatred-steeped warmongers to display any degree of affection.
(1) The characteristic bruising/blistering suffered by careless/clumsy armory-workers who repeatedly drop said ordnance while wearing inadequate shoe-protection.
(2) A spherical-shaped cluster of explosives which is hung from the ceiling at a terrorists' end-of-year party; it's the only way to get these hatred-steeped warmongers to display any degree of affection.
Contrary to what he told Jeff Dunham, Achmed came to look as he is today by trying to kiss one of his 46 wives underneath the missiletoe --- he'd unknowingly set the timer wrong on one of them, and the whole 0%!$@# cluster went up due to "premature detonation".
missiletoe by QuacksO August 4, 2018
alternative affection
Less-common but equally-loving gestures to express warm feelings for someone, such as a leg-hug or giving him a back-rub wif yer soles and/or scratching his back wif yer toe-nails.
A few other somewhat-loopy but totally-satisfying alternative affection gestures would be an over-da-shoulder high-five (where ya both stand wif your backs together and reach yer hands back over yer shoulders to slap palms wif each other), toe-hugs (where ya flex yer toes downwards to hug da other person's toes), and toe-hugging his pinkie by nestling his finger underneath yer toes and then curling yer toes tightly around his finger. These latter two gestures are especially heavenly for a dude wif a foot-fetish, and will often produce a massive hard-on that you can then either blow or "ride" immediately.
alternative affection by QuacksO August 4, 2018