Porneggs's definitions
Commonly mistaken for a good basketball player, Hedo Turkoglu is a 6"10, unathletic sloth who gets paid $10 000 000/year (US) by the Toronto Raptors to dribble around the top of the key, take contested 3 pointers early in the shot-clock, and clumsily drive the to basket while utilizing his 11 inch vertical to pass the ball to the perimeter.
Once considered a key piece to an Orlando team which made the 2009 NBA Finals, Hedo is better known as a %40.00 Field Goal shooter throughout his career, who has benefited from being surrounded with elite talents such as Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard in order to mask his many deficiencies as a player. Once securing a large contract with a Toronto Raptors team that was unable to disguise his weaknesses, Hedo was exposed for the lazy, selfish, sub-par athlete he truly is. This was exemplified in his decision to fake a stomach illness in a game the Toronto Raptors lost by 1 point in the 2009-2010 season, to go clubbing. Toronto ended up missing the playoffs by 1 game.
Once considered a key piece to an Orlando team which made the 2009 NBA Finals, Hedo is better known as a %40.00 Field Goal shooter throughout his career, who has benefited from being surrounded with elite talents such as Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard in order to mask his many deficiencies as a player. Once securing a large contract with a Toronto Raptors team that was unable to disguise his weaknesses, Hedo was exposed for the lazy, selfish, sub-par athlete he truly is. This was exemplified in his decision to fake a stomach illness in a game the Toronto Raptors lost by 1 point in the 2009-2010 season, to go clubbing. Toronto ended up missing the playoffs by 1 game.
Jack Armstrong: "Hedo, please explain why, in an 82 game season, were you able to play 1, solid all-around basketball game....against the New York Knicks no less?"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu: "Ball"
Jay Triano: "Hedo, are you reviewing your tapes from the LA game"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu (on the couch, eating Pizza and drinking sprite like the lazy, selfish, lying sloth he is): "yes coach"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu: "Ball"
Jay Triano: "Hedo, are you reviewing your tapes from the LA game"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu (on the couch, eating Pizza and drinking sprite like the lazy, selfish, lying sloth he is): "yes coach"
by porneggs May 5, 2010
Get the Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglumug. The 1 - 4 scale was devised by several brilliant minds who grew increasingly frustrated with the inherent subjectivity of rating women on a 1-10 scale of fuckability. Hence, the 1 - 4 scale was created to avoid the dubious, yet frequent dilemma of distinguishing between a "9" an 8.4" a "3.4" etc. The genius of the 1 -4 scale is that it employs a categorical, objective system generally agreed upon by most heterosexual males (and lipstick lesbians, not the butch ones).
Without further ado, here is the breakdown of categories:
A "1": This category is designated for females who you un-mistakenably, undoubtedly, and unabashedly would not have sex with, even in your most inebriated, depressed and lonely state. The "1" is generally characterized by the lethal combination of an ugly face, extreme obesity and very low self-confidence.
The "2":
This category is interesting because a lot more variables come into play here. The "2" is agreed upon to be generally unattractive however due to a variety of circumstances (i.e. shes a butter face, decent face with a fat body, or you have a fetish for 14 year old Malaysian prostitutes), you will have sex with her if you are drunk enough. The key here is that nobody finds out. You make sure you keep this one to yourself.
The "3":
Simultaneously the easiest, yet most problematic category to define. The "3", very broadly put, is a legitimately attractive female who you would unashamedly have sex with. The "3" is worthy of bragging rights, perhaps even girlfriend material, if you're a pussy like that. This is probably the best you're going to ever do.
the "4":
The "4" is distinct and should not be thrown around lightly. To put it in the words of one of the founding fathers of the 1-4 scale, "this girl is so hot, you would kill your own mother and piss on her grave just to smell this girl's shit." While killing is a little extreme (given the nature of our court system and their increasing willingness to play the "hard line" on parent killings), it puts into context the magnitude of what the "4" represents. This girl is so out of your league, you avoid eye contact at all costs. "4's" represent under 1% of the female population, and you most likely will never insert your penis in one.
Without further ado, here is the breakdown of categories:
A "1": This category is designated for females who you un-mistakenably, undoubtedly, and unabashedly would not have sex with, even in your most inebriated, depressed and lonely state. The "1" is generally characterized by the lethal combination of an ugly face, extreme obesity and very low self-confidence.
The "2":
This category is interesting because a lot more variables come into play here. The "2" is agreed upon to be generally unattractive however due to a variety of circumstances (i.e. shes a butter face, decent face with a fat body, or you have a fetish for 14 year old Malaysian prostitutes), you will have sex with her if you are drunk enough. The key here is that nobody finds out. You make sure you keep this one to yourself.
The "3":
Simultaneously the easiest, yet most problematic category to define. The "3", very broadly put, is a legitimately attractive female who you would unashamedly have sex with. The "3" is worthy of bragging rights, perhaps even girlfriend material, if you're a pussy like that. This is probably the best you're going to ever do.
the "4":
The "4" is distinct and should not be thrown around lightly. To put it in the words of one of the founding fathers of the 1-4 scale, "this girl is so hot, you would kill your own mother and piss on her grave just to smell this girl's shit." While killing is a little extreme (given the nature of our court system and their increasing willingness to play the "hard line" on parent killings), it puts into context the magnitude of what the "4" represents. This girl is so out of your league, you avoid eye contact at all costs. "4's" represent under 1% of the female population, and you most likely will never insert your penis in one.
Me: "Hey dude, how did last night go?"
Roommate: "Not bad, brought a girl home"
Me: "Nice. She a 3?"
Roommate: "No, i'd say like a 7/10"
Me: "Listen cock-smoker, the 1-10 scale is for fucking amateurs, what is she on the 1 - 4 scale we discussed?"
Roommate: "Oh..I'd say mid-to-high 2ish"
Me: "werd"
Roommate: "Not bad, brought a girl home"
Me: "Nice. She a 3?"
Roommate: "No, i'd say like a 7/10"
Me: "Listen cock-smoker, the 1-10 scale is for fucking amateurs, what is she on the 1 - 4 scale we discussed?"
Roommate: "Oh..I'd say mid-to-high 2ish"
Me: "werd"
by porneggs March 1, 2009
Get the The 1 - 4 scalemug. Acronym, standing for Titties by Default. Refers to the massive protrusions of fatty tissue present in the chest area of overweight women, and occasionaly men. Not to be confused with BAT's (bomb-ass titties), Titties by Default are not composed of breast tissue, but rather an inevitable dispersion of fat cells throughout the bodies of those afflicted. While TBD's are responsible for giving fat women a false sense of confidence and self worth, they are equally capable of deceiving unsuspecting onlookers, and masquerading as BAT's.
Stel: "Holy shit, that girl eating the nacho plate to herself has PHENOMENAL breasts. I can't stop staring"
Me "No dude, they're TBD's. If I was 3 bills I would have phenomenal breasts too."
Me "No dude, they're TBD's. If I was 3 bills I would have phenomenal breasts too."
by porneggs November 11, 2010
Get the TBD'smug. A massive bong orginally made out of a giant Promo-Cup from Taco Bell. Bong Laden AKA The Terrorist Bong is wanted on several counts of kicking the shit out of everyone's lungs.
by porneggs May 31, 2006
Get the Bong Ladenmug. Usually used by old Indians/Pakistanis as an obscenity (usually directed at white people). Coined from the term "son of a bitch", this south-asian derivative has the same message, yet combines an undeniably funny accent.
"Allo?"
"ummm hey...may I please speak with Sharanjit?"
"Who's dis?"
"...It's his friend Mark..."
"listen you sun-mabitch....you call my house one more time I call police....you vucking bestard!"
"umm.....so he's not home???"
"ummm hey...may I please speak with Sharanjit?"
"Who's dis?"
"...It's his friend Mark..."
"listen you sun-mabitch....you call my house one more time I call police....you vucking bestard!"
"umm.....so he's not home???"
by porneggs May 24, 2006
Get the sun-mabitchmug. by porneggs June 27, 2006
Get the what's twisting that bitch's tit?mug. I am the Clit Commander. No one rules the clit like me; not this fuck, none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER! When it comes down to takin' care of business, here's what I do. I grab it...then I put on my nose like this...and im like, "OH youz little fuck..."
by porneggs May 31, 2006
Get the clit commandermug.