14 definitions by porneggs

what Jayson Mews in Jay in Silent Bob proclaims himself to be.
I am the Clit Commander. No one rules the clit like me; not this fuck, none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER! When it comes down to takin' care of business, here's what I do. I grab it...then I put on my nose like this...and im like, "OH youz little fuck..."
by porneggs May 29, 2006
a term used when someone is clearly getting too worked up or emotional or starts spilling beer on your new jeans.
"I'm so depressed man, im never going to find another girl like that"
"yo relax"
by porneggs August 31, 2005
John Thomas Salley (born May 16, 1964 in Brooklyn, New York) is a former professional basketball player in the NBA. Salley is the first player in NBA history to play on three different championship-winning franchises.

John Salley is now a regular guest on, "The Best Damn Sports show" where he consistently makes himself look like a douchebag. Although he was a more than adequate basketball player, hey may suffer from down syndrome. Recently his heterosexuality has come into question as well.
Conversation in relation to Barry Bonds cheating:

John Salley:
"Cheating is ok, everyone does it yo. Everyone stretches the pewamatas (parameters)."
Really Hot Lawyer chick:
"Yeah, and they usually pay the prices, because there are rules"
John Salley:
"you tellin' me you never go fitty five in a 50 zone?"
Really hot lawyer chick:
"yes, and thats why I have speeding tickets which I've payed!"
John Salley:
"haha..yo girl, you gotta change your groove"

by porneggs July 6, 2006
Any activity or activities directly or seemingly related to the internet dating site Plenty of Fish (POF). This can include, but is not limited to, activities such as:
- browsing the website for single, unemployed mothers within a 40 kilometer radius of your postal code
- arranging dates with said users, then telling your roommates/family/girlfriend that you are going for a "drive"
- engaging in sexual relations with fellow pofers

Key terms:

Pofer - an individual who engages in any of the aforementioned or attributable pofing behaviours.

Pofing by Association - Sometimes a friend of yours who is an active pofer will ask you to accompany him/her on a pofing date, because their fellow pofer is bringing a friend. At this point, both you and the other friend are Pofing by Association.

Potential Pofer - Easy to pick out at a bar. They are generally the mildly to excessively overweight girl in a group of mid 3's (please see The 1 - 4 scale), drinking Old Milwaukee and mouthing the words to a Cindi Lauper song. Don't confuse the PP's availability as an invitation to approach her, as most PP's are uncomfortable making eye contact with someone they have not received a virtual gift from.

Pofing Without Borders - This is kind of like Doctors Without Borders, but instead of volunteering to provide urgent medical care in countries to victims of war and disaster, the pofer in question is crossing an international border to bang a total stranger they met on the internet.
Me: "Where's Brando... we were supposed to go to the gym 3 hours ago. Doesn't he know its national chest day at the gym and if we don't go before 5 there's gonna be 13 Bangladeshians on every Bench Press?"

Aleks: "I dont know dude...I saw him 6 hours ago and he said he had to go inspect the rear differential on his Jeep.....He's probably pofing."

Me: "Yeah...definitely pofing"

Me: "How's Uncle Richie doing? Haven't seen him in a while..."

Aleks: "He's good man...he's got a girlfriend now."

Me: "Right on, where did he meet her?"

Aleks "He originally informed me that their eyes met across a jazz bar in Arlington and it was love at first sight...but after some investigating I have confirmed that it was the result of finely tuned pofing"

Me: "really...I didnt know Uncle Richie poffed..."

Aleks: "yeah dude...Platinum Member"
by porneggs July 21, 2010
A term used to distinguish amazingly nice breasts from your average nice set of knockers.
"Holy shit, is that Mark's little sister?"
"Yeah man, she's got some bomb-ass titties"
by porneggs May 15, 2006
A massive bong orginally made out of a giant Promo-Cup from Taco Bell. Bong Laden AKA The Terrorist Bong is wanted on several counts of kicking the shit out of everyone's lungs.
"Yo, I found the Bong Laden. Come over and pack bowls"
by porneggs May 29, 2006
Commonly mistaken for a good basketball player, Hedo Turkoglu is a 6"10, unathletic sloth who gets paid $10 000 000/year (US) by the Toronto Raptors to dribble around the top of the key, take contested 3 pointers early in the shot-clock, and clumsily drive the to basket while utilizing his 11 inch vertical to pass the ball to the perimeter.

Once considered a key piece to an Orlando team which made the 2009 NBA Finals, Hedo is better known as a %40.00 Field Goal shooter throughout his career, who has benefited from being surrounded with elite talents such as Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard in order to mask his many deficiencies as a player. Once securing a large contract with a Toronto Raptors team that was unable to disguise his weaknesses, Hedo was exposed for the lazy, selfish, sub-par athlete he truly is. This was exemplified in his decision to fake a stomach illness in a game the Toronto Raptors lost by 1 point in the 2009-2010 season, to go clubbing. Toronto ended up missing the playoffs by 1 game.
Jack Armstrong: "Hedo, please explain why, in an 82 game season, were you able to play 1, solid all-around basketball game....against the New York Knicks no less?"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu: "Ball"

Jay Triano: "Hedo, are you reviewing your tapes from the LA game"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu (on the couch, eating Pizza and drinking sprite like the lazy, selfish, lying sloth he is): "yes coach"
by porneggs May 5, 2010