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Definitions by PopeMichael

On the internets, a downlink is a cross between a link and a download. Downlinks are associated with file sharing and file distribution, generally via zipped 'online storage' sites and other unencrypted distribution methods. This difference in functionality separates downlinks from standard links, downloads and torrents.
Alex: I need you to send me that file, the really big one.

Stephen: Ok Ok Ok; I'll send you a downlink.
Downlink by PopeMichael October 20, 2011

Close The Hand 

An escalation of a state of Domestic Violence, whereby the "open hand" of a slap is exchanged for the "closed hand" of a fist.
"So what happened?"
"She went crazy and slapped me!"
"Oh man, that's terrible!"
"And the look in her eye; Dude, I thought she was gonna Close The Hand..."

Shitorexia 

Shitorexia is a poop disorder characterized by a refusal to accept pooping as a normal daily cycle. Shitorexics often feel strong urges to poop, but deny themselves all but the very smallest of poops. Shitorexics create a distorted negative image of their poops and foster regimes in connection with their poops. They are often incapable of pooping when placed in non-regime environments.

Shitorexia occurs in the ratio of one male per billion females.
Jane and John were at a concert. Suddenly they had to go home early. Shitorexia had struck again.
Shitorexia by PopeMichael January 15, 2011

Beatnik Applause 

A form of applause whereby the middle finger and thumb of both hands are repeatedly snapped/clicked instead of clapped. Beatnik applause was developed in the cafes of the 1950s/1960s by the Beatnik/Beat Generation. Many "Beat Poet" fans of this period now suffer from severe arthritic inflammation of the thumb and middle finger.
POET: "The room suddenly went into a mad darkness. A spotlight pierced blackness like a white devil's knife. A voice rose and screamed. Words of beauty cutting my throat. A poem of life, of love, of doom. My years on Earth summed and fooled."

CROWD: Beatnik Applause

Three Holes, No Waiting. 

Legendary quote by Frank Zappa from the song "Little Rubber Girl".

"Three Holes, No Waiting" refers to the opportunity provided by the mouth, vagina and anus for intercourse/simulated intercourse. Also known as the Full House, amongst other things.
John: "I'm ready for my Booty Call."

Sarah: "Gosh John, I'm Cracking an Egg and have a toothache."

John: "Three Holes, No Waiting."

Confidentish 

To be Confidentish is to be confident, but with the added insurance of a small measure of doubt. Confidentishness can help save face when fateful errors of prediction occur.
"Can you score that hot blond by the bar?"
"Uh well, I'm Confidentish?"
Confidentish by PopeMichael March 26, 2010

Kinder Surprise 

An unexpected pregnancy. Derived from the German toy "Kinder Surprise", which literally translates to "Surprise Children".
"I'm pregnant again!", said the girl

"OMFG, another Kinder Surprise", said the boy.
Kinder Surprise by PopeMichael March 1, 2010