Pantaloon's definitions

mudshot

turgid wet mix of poo that is ejected with a single flexing of the gut. Shrapnel splatter is an acceptable casualty, but the bulk of the pile should be a singular paddy centered directly under anus. Often accompanied by feeling of well being and accomplishment. Underreported as the Eureka moment it is.

He lowered himself and quenched. The mudshot was almost painful, it was so beautiful. He felt himself drawn to a bright light and people who had been long dead surrounded him. It's not your time yet, they told him. There is much wiping to do. When he opened his eyes, he knew what to do. He put in his notice at work and bought a Harley that afternoon.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

Break the water line

A dump which is able to support itself and rise above the typical average water level in a toilet. An outstanding achievement, the performer is encouraged to bring others in to witness. Photographs do not have the same impact.

He was able to break the water line with a single chute of feces. They carried from the field that day.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

splume

The penile geyser of manjuice that overfloweth upon orgasm.

He neglected to mention the depth and breadth of his splume, nor the angle of approach. She got home from the prom wearing his adolescent glaze.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

fecal matter

Something or someone associated in some way with feces.

Overheard at the Senate hearings-
Senator McCain: "General Petraeus, What is your opinion on the Fecal Matter?"
General Petraeus: "Sir? You are referring to the situation in Iraq, sir?"
McCain: "What? What in God's name are you talking about?"
Petraeus: "You were asking me about the bad situation we are in with Iraq?"
McCain:"What the hell? No I wasn't, you nincompoop! I just shit myself. I'm 70 years old, and it seems to happen more and more at these damnable hearings. I just thought you might like the interesting design it made on my trousers."
Petraeus: "I'm not prepared to comment on that at this point in time, sir"
McCain: "Very good, Petraeus. That will be all... Where the hell is my nurse?"

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

muddy bootprint

Aka muddy boot- the darkened skin that radiates outward from the vagina at the center of a woman's inner thighs until the typical skin of the body is attained.

He had only gone down on girls with lily-white skin before Esmerelda, and was jarred by unexpected sight of a muddy bootprint. He descended into the dark abyss with trepidation.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

finless brown

analfish that populates the toilet. eyeless as well. Often known as Finless brown trout.

I feel the need to stock the pond with finless browns

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

carson

1) Verb meaning to take a golf club and swat at someone's testicles (ala Johnny Carson)
2)The act of holding someone's balls to the forehead in order to concentrate (ala JC's Carnac the magnificent)
3)A means to get a new car advocated by Toyota.

1)I passed out on the floor of my frat house and awoke just before Weber gave me a carson. I fled through the pantry door with my morning wood intact.
2)I wouldn't say I was her fuck buddy per see. Sure, I got off, but I was starting to suspect that she needed to think, and was only waiting till I slept before she carsoned me.
3)That Toyota Prius is looking sweet. What would the total carbon output be if I were to carson my subaru?

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008