Pantaloon's definitions

Cunningham

The penis of the character of Mr. Cunningham from the television show "Happy Days."

Mrs. C.- Oh, Howard, I want you to stick me with your Cunningham till it stinks.
Mr. C.- What else would I do, Marion?
Joanie- If you don't know Dad, I feel sorry for you.
Mr. C.- Joanie, go to your room!
Joanie- Why do I always have to go to my room everytime you take your dick out?

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

Ritchie Cunningham

To have intercourse while wearing only a sweater and sox, the way Ritchie used to on the classic "Happy Days."

Mary-Beth Allen insisted that Ritchie Cunningham take off only his pants and tighty-whiteys when they screwed. She insisted it made his Pinky Tuscadero seem almost twice as large. It soon became all the rage, thanks to the graffiti on the ladies room wall.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

Ralph Malph

the act of giving oral sex in order to hide ones inablility to summon an erection. Named for the character from Happy Days.

Joanie (spread eagle and signalling Ralph Malph to plow her)- Come on, Malphie, gimme the high hard one.
Ralph - Uh, Joannie, Uh, aren't we moving a little fast?
Joanie- you sound like Chachi, ya big wuss. Whip it out, goddammit!
Ralph - (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with Potsie just last week. Nods.)Aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into Joanie's lap and buries his face in her little Mrs. C. Note to director: Remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it's network television. Ralph's face must be surrounded by Joanie's ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
Joanie- Unngh!(Leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. Joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
Joanie- (Winces)Hey, Ralphie, it's not a punching bag!
Ralph- (Through his teeth) I still got it!
(Applause, fadeout, roll credits).

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

gilligan

1)to spend time with beautiful women coming on to you with no possible consequences (it was the sixties), and yet avoid getting laid for seven years. I mean, WTF?

I'm pretty sure Herman Munster or Eddie Haskell wouldn't have pulled a Gilligan if they had their druthers.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

the professor

The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."

Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

Milk the bull

1)The act of trying to produce milk from a steer. Results may vary.
2)Euphemism for yanking the genitals in a downward motion.

1)Josiah did his very best to draw dairy product from the old Fella, but he was kicked clear in the head. Just goes to show, you can teach a man to fish, but ye jus kain milk the bull.
2)Jillian attempted to milk Tommy's bull right there at the booth, but she only succeeded in drawing the attention of the other patrons at Applebee's. The steady popping noise was too distracting from the delightful delicacies of which they were partaking. The waitress was forced to lend a hand to expedite the process.

by Pantaloon January 26, 2008