Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"
Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"
Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*
No wonder we never saw that kid again.... Holy shit!
And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2
And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2
by PORGSSSS November 29, 2023
POV:
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"
Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"
Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dude 1: Did you hear about those asians taking a lie detector test?
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...
by PORGSSSS November 29, 2023
Holy fucking shit there are too many definitions for shit..... Why?!?!??
...........
*promptly dies*
Mother: Son, are you okay?
Sister: Yeah, he'll be fine, he's just sleeping.
Mother: ok.
Sister: *slips knife into his heart to make sure he stays dead*
Father: *notices*
Father: Holy fucking shit! What happened? WHO KILLED HIM? HMMM??????!?!?
Sister: He was probably depressed and killed himself, a lot of people do that these days. I don't know why. Dibs on his savings and allowance!
Father: WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER YET, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! NOT YET!
Mother: Honey! Calm down!
Father: *faints*
Mother and Sister: *goes on eating dinner silently, ignore both of the bodies.*
...........
*promptly dies*
Mother: Son, are you okay?
Sister: Yeah, he'll be fine, he's just sleeping.
Mother: ok.
Sister: *slips knife into his heart to make sure he stays dead*
Father: *notices*
Father: Holy fucking shit! What happened? WHO KILLED HIM? HMMM??????!?!?
Sister: He was probably depressed and killed himself, a lot of people do that these days. I don't know why. Dibs on his savings and allowance!
Father: WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER YET, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! NOT YET!
Mother: Honey! Calm down!
Father: *faints*
Mother and Sister: *goes on eating dinner silently, ignore both of the bodies.*
by PORGSSSS May 11, 2023
Someone who is a lying cock-sucking asshole whos last name just so happens to be Largent. Their name is short for Large Genitals, which is a disgrace in and of its own. Good luck lasting more than -13 years, Large Genitals.
by PORGSSSS December 31, 2023
We all remember that day when we learned what cancer was, but my parents in particular did excruciatingly well telling me that half of my mom's side of the family had cancer and that they were going to eventually die. In fact, I think she first told us(me and my brother), at the ripe age of 4 and 2, that our grandma had stage 3 breast cancer and was going to die. She didn't even tell us what cancer was, for fuck's sake. And the consequence of that was me going on for another 8 years thinking cancer was instant death and that different parts of your body could get it.... Like, what the fuck? And then turns out my Grandpa had prostate cancer, so that was fun, but not as lethal. Another one of my great-uncles had ball cancer AND lung cancer. I can only pray that I don't share any of their fates, but I think one of the reasons she escaped it was because she went to med school. Definitely not me, so I can only hope.
Mother: Son, your grandma is going to die.
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.
Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.
Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is
by PORGSSSS October 18, 2023
Someone who will shred your sins away, looking extremely sexy for an 13 year old man with a full grown beard and the hole-iness of God himself. Damn, they must be full of holes. My favorite, h ttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/1vgUl9ASXh0
by PORGSSSS December 31, 2023
If America was communist, I do believe that we would be on better terms with Russia, whose allegiance with China we will use to take over the world. Eventually the United States would control the entirety of the Americas, and Russia having total control of Europe and China dominating Asia. All nuclear weapons would be illegal, however, courtesy of the U.S. Then these three countries would have a space race to Mars, and eventually defend ourselves against multiple alien invasions. Each of the species we defeat we learn from and advance our technology, and to the point where we are now able to travel the stars. Sadly, as communism is a form of government frowned upon by many, a resistance is formed that brings communism to its knees, but as a last attempt of justice, the communists nuke the entire planet, destabilizing it enough that Earth actually implodes in a fiery disaster, destroying the entire solar system.
If America was communist.... Oh, imagine!
The fate of our planet is now set... Nothing we can do now can or will change it.
The fate of our planet is now set... Nothing we can do now can or will change it.
by PORGSSSS October 12, 2023