Definitions by Old Man Neltson

Dirty Gunnison

When you are camping and have to take a dump in the middle of the night and end up shitting on your foot. You then limp back to your campsite and rub your foot across your buddy's face while he's asleep.

Nate: "I got Derek good last night. I was taking a shit and accidently got some on my foot. I was so pissed but then I remembered what an asshole Derek is so I hobbled over to where he was sleeping and gave him the Dirty Gunnison."

Scott: "Nice! He's such an asshole that he probably liked it"

Dirty Gunnison by Old Man Neltson May 28, 2026

Parent Teacher Conference 

When your child is so fucking stupid, failing every class and showing no signs that there's no hope they'll ever graduate and move out. It's the last resort is initiated by the parents; an emergency hook up to see if anything can be "worked out".

Dad: Connie, have you seen Norman's latest report card? Goddamn it! How can this boy be so fucking stupid? He's failing 12th grade for the second year in a row. It's even worse this year than last year!!
Mom: I know Derek, but I have a solution. I have scheduled a parent teacher conference this weekend with the principal. I'm sure we'll work something out.
Dad: Whatever it takes. I can't this idiot living here one day past his 18th birthday!

Parent Teacher Conference by Old Man Neltson July 27, 2023

Baton Strikes 

A group of men, usually led by someone named Derek, who meet up at a secret gym to engage in anal sex.

Dan: Looking forward to some Matroom 13 baton strikes this weekend. I wonder when Derek is going to let us know where we're meeting up.
Jason: I know right? Probably near an emergency room this time. He really had it rough with Scott and his crew really tore him up last go around. I had to get him to a doctor the next day. But he loves it so we'll see...

Baton Strikes by Old Man Neltson July 26, 2023

Matroom 13 

A code word gay men use when they want to meet up to grope and fondle one another pretending to practice jujitsu

Bob: Has anyone seen Derek, Steve, Scott and Colby?

Julie: Yeah, they went to Matroom 13 to roll.

Bob: Oh for fuck sake!

Matroom 13 by Old Man Neltson June 12, 2023

Dirty Chowder 

The act of sticking your own finger up your own ass and then wiping said finger across your upper lip.

Scott: I don't remember Derek ever having a moustache? When did he grow that?
Kelly: He doesn't. I heard he sticks his finger up his ass then wipes it under his nose. It's called the Dirty Chowder.
Scott: That is one sick fuck!!!

Dirty Chowder by Old Man Neltson June 12, 2023

UnNorman 

When someone, usually named Norman,

who is typically a backstabbing cocksucker, starts acting nice for no reason tipping you off that he's up to something.

Jay: That damn Norman is up to something
Andrew: How's that?
Jay: Yesterday he was busy trying to fuck me in the ass with the boss and today he's acting like he's my best friend!
Andrew: Whoa! Totally UnNorman! Watch your back bro!

UnNorman by Old Man Neltson April 2, 2022

SethTD 

The bad life choice that keeps on giving. When you were just supposed to go out for a gallon of milk and on the way home got curious about the action rumored taking place behind the Waffle House.

Mitch: "Damn Larry, you see that skank shivering that trucker's timber behind the Waffle House?"
Larry: "That's not just a skank, that's a dude! I hear Chuck got curious and caught a SethTD from him".

SethTD by Old Man Neltson April 30, 2021