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Nuphagus's definitions

Snogging the toothless clown

Cunnilingus with a woman whose pubis is unusually thick and bushy.
When we went for lunch, Cedric smiled at the waitress and he had whopping great pubes like bed springs between his teeth! I reckon he was snogging the toothless clown last night!
by Nuphagus January 5, 2020
mugGet the Snogging the toothless clownmug.

Shaggy walnut

Stanley thought it would be funny to cut a hole in the wooden bowl of mixed nuts and poke his bollocks through. Auntie Beryl nearly had a cardiac arrest when she pulled out a Brazil, a couple of almonds and his shaggy walnut! He did when she took the nutcracker to it!
by Nuphagus April 12, 2020
mugGet the Shaggy walnutmug.

Crimson hubcaps

“Mate, I reckon those big ok’ bangers are fitted with crimson hubcaps! Look at the size of the wheel nuts!“
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
mugGet the Crimson hubcapsmug.

Transitvestite

“This right munter turned up on site in a white van the other day. I thought she must be health and safety or something. About half hour later she started bumping out concrete blocks with hands like shovels! Then I noticed the hairy legs and size 12 steelys! The woman was a geezer! A proper transitvestite!”
by Nuphagus November 24, 2019
mugGet the Transitvestitemug.

The urinal countdown

The last ten seconds to make it to the toilet before you wet your pants.
Outta the way you lot! I’ve gotta get to the loo. I’m gonna pee my pants in about 5 seconds! I’m halfway through the urinal countdown!
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
mugGet the The urinal countdownmug.

Jingle bellend

You should’ve seen Colin at the office Christmas party. He squeezed Debbie from resources nipples in a nutcracker and then dropped his trolleys and farted in the bowl of fruit punch! What a jingle bellend!
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
mugGet the Jingle bellendmug.

Scumcosh

Really baggy scrotum making the testicles resemble snooker balls in a sock, as used by Ray Winston in the movie,’Scum’
That dude should’ve worn some longer shorts! Look, his scumcosh is hanging out of the gusset!
by Nuphagus January 5, 2020
mugGet the Scumcoshmug.

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