Nuphagus's definitions

Throatum

The result of an incredibly hard kick in the testicles

I called her a lesbian wrestling munter and she booted me so hard in the knackers, I ended up with a throatum! I thought I was gonna cough my nads out!

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019

Phantom phallus

The imaginary penis, a lesbian thinks with when she’s checking out women

That bird had a face like the elephant man’s ball bag! Mind you, she had massive bangers, long legs and dressed like a Trollope. Linda must’ve been thinking with her phantom phallus when she hit on that munter!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Bumguffery

The covert art of leaving a room after doing a smelly, lingering fart.

Strewth! What’s that stench in here. I detect the distinct whiff of bumguffery

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Rubik’s pubes

When your pubic hair becomes so tangled and knotted it becomes painful to walk and nearly impossible to solve the puzzle of untangling them.

Hey Bruv, you’re grimacing every time you stand up or take a step. Have you got rubik’s pubes? I usually down a bottle of scotch then get my missus to rub some conditioner into them and softly comb them.

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019

Big Mac and small fries

Three midgets standing on each other’s shoulders wearing a trench coat to look like a tall guy.

This 7ft tall fella pushed in front of me in the queue. I thought,”he’s a giant! I ain’t gonna mess with him!”. Then the coat buttons came undone and three dwarves tumbled out! That Big Mac and small fries ran out quick fast!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Scumcosh

Really baggy scrotum making the testicles resemble snooker balls in a sock, as used by Ray Winston in the movie,’Scum’

That dude should’ve worn some longer shorts! Look, his scumcosh is hanging out of the gusset!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Jingle bellend

An idiot at Christmas

You should’ve seen Colin at the office Christmas party. He squeezed Debbie from resources nipples in a nutcracker and then dropped his trolleys and farted in the bowl of fruit punch! What a jingle bellend!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019