44 definitions by Nuphagus

Breasticles

Saggy boobs that hang so low that the nipples are near the genitals

Crikey, Mildred’s bangers are so droopy they look like a pair of breasticles!

by Nuphagus January 14, 2020

Volcanus

A particularly explosive bottom during a poo

Strike a light, my bum was like an erupting volcanus this morning! The minute my cheeks touched the seat,’BANG!’, there was brown lava spewing out of my crater. Good job I didn’t try and fart or I’d have got magma in my grots for sure!

by Nuphagus April 12, 2020

Bum the hamster

To catch the end of your penis in the zip of your trousers.

I’ve started wearing button fly jeans now. Every time I do up a zip I seem to bum the hamster. It kills the end of my todger and hurts like heck trying to get it back out again!

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019

Bumguffery

The art of dropping sneaky farts in naughty places, I.e weddings, funerals or minute silences.

Horrence was up to his usual bumguffery at Reg and Hilda’s golden wedding anniversary. Reg was just giving his speech. He said ,”I’m lucky enough to say I’ve spent half a century married to this wonderful...”, and Horrence let one go at about 100 decibels!

by Nuphagus March 14, 2020

Bumguffery

The covert art of leaving a room after doing a smelly, lingering fart.

Strewth! What’s that stench in here. I detect the distinct whiff of bumguffery

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Plopportunity

The chance to have a crafty dump behind a bush when nobody is watching

I had a tortoise head! The girls were all chatting and I had bit of old tissue in my pocket, so I dived in the hedge and turned one out! It was the perfect plopportunity.

by Nuphagus February 26, 2020

Corollavirus

Illness suffered by people who are sick of their old Toyota

I heard banging and swearing outside this morning. I looked out and Rex was smashing up his old Japanese motor with a sledgehammer! I reckon he’s got corollavirus!

by Nuphagus March 14, 2020