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Nuphagus's definitions

The urinal countdown

The last ten seconds to make it to the toilet before you wet your pants.
Outta the way you lot! I’ve gotta get to the loo. I’m gonna pee my pants in about 5 seconds! I’m halfway through the urinal countdown!
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
mugGet the The urinal countdownmug.

Transitvestite

“This right munter turned up on site in a white van the other day. I thought she must be health and safety or something. About half hour later she started bumping out concrete blocks with hands like shovels! Then I noticed the hairy legs and size 12 steelys! The woman was a geezer! A proper transitvestite!”
by Nuphagus November 24, 2019
mugGet the Transitvestitemug.

Throatum

The result of an incredibly hard kick in the testicles
I called her a lesbian wrestling munter and she booted me so hard in the knackers, I ended up with a throatum! I thought I was gonna cough my nads out!
by Nuphagus December 11, 2019
mugGet the Throatummug.

Turd of prey

A big, fresh dog poo waiting just around a busy corner to ruin a poor, unsuspecting pedestrian’s day
I was out jogging in my brand new, white sneakers yesterday, turned into north street and went surfing on a massive turd of prey! I swear it was just waiting to ruin my trainers. I spent 5 hours cleaning cack out of the soles with my mum’s toothbrush!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
mugGet the Turd of preymug.

Umbollockle cord

A pubic hair which gets trapped in your flys making it impossible to stand up without hurting your scrotum
I tried doing my zip up under the table cos I could feel a draught round my todger, but when I went to stand up I thought I was gonna pull my ballbag off! It was trapped by an umbollockle cord!
by Nuphagus December 26, 2019
mugGet the Umbollockle cordmug.

Bumguffery

The covert art of leaving a room after doing a smelly, lingering fart.
Strewth! What’s that stench in here. I detect the distinct whiff of bumguffery
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
mugGet the Bumgufferymug.

Rubik’s pubes

When your pubic hair becomes so tangled and knotted it becomes painful to walk and nearly impossible to solve the puzzle of untangling them.
Hey Bruv, you’re grimacing every time you stand up or take a step. Have you got rubik’s pubes? I usually down a bottle of scotch then get my missus to rub some conditioner into them and softly comb them.
by Nuphagus December 11, 2019
mugGet the Rubik’s pubesmug.

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