Nuphagus's definitions

The urinal countdown

The last ten seconds to make it to the toilet before you wet your pants.

Outta the way you lot! I’ve gotta get to the loo. I’m gonna pee my pants in about 5 seconds! I’m halfway through the urinal countdown!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Bumguffery

The covert art of leaving a room after doing a smelly, lingering fart.

Strewth! What’s that stench in here. I detect the distinct whiff of bumguffery

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Rubik’s pubes

When your pubic hair becomes so tangled and knotted it becomes painful to walk and nearly impossible to solve the puzzle of untangling them.

Hey Bruv, you’re grimacing every time you stand up or take a step. Have you got rubik’s pubes? I usually down a bottle of scotch then get my missus to rub some conditioner into them and softly comb them.

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019

Whistling choc chips

To follow through with a fart and soil yourself

“I think you need to check your grots Bruv. That one sounded like you whistled choc chips!”, “I had the trots so bad I had to throw four pairs of pants away yesterday. Every time I farted, I was whistling choc chips! It ruined the wedding.”

by Nuphagus November 14, 2019

Backnose

The anus, ring piece, bumhole

“Crikey mate, have someone cracked their trolleys or as one of you sneezed out of ya backnose?” , “I hope you’ve got some baby wipes in the bog! I’ve got the itch cos I didn’t wipe my backnose properly!”

by Nuphagus November 14, 2019

Scumcosh

Really baggy scrotum making the testicles resemble snooker balls in a sock, as used by Ray Winston in the movie,’Scum’

That dude should’ve worn some longer shorts! Look, his scumcosh is hanging out of the gusset!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Ubernork

When one silicon breast enlargement is clearly bigger than the other.

That poor woman! She came out of the clinic with one c-cup and one double d! It looks like she’s got an ubernork! Dunno how she’ll get bras.

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020