“I think you need to check your grots Bruv. That one sounded like you whistled choc chips!”, “I had the trots so bad I had to throw four pairs of pants away yesterday. Every time I farted, I was whistling choc chips! It ruined the wedding.”
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
Itchy anus which occurs when you’re at least seven miles walk away from a toilet. Usually due to being one wipe short of a clean bum.
I had dump just before the half marathon started. The bog roll was like tracing paper! I got halfway round and got the seven mile itch! I spent the last 6 miles scratching my ring piece and the next 6 hours with my Harris in a bowl of warm water!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
Crappy homemade masterbating machine I.e pneumatically operated,mechanical Lego technic hand in a rubber glove.
I looked in quentin’s window the other day. He had a Henry hoover in a blonde wig and false eye lashes giving him a nosh! He said he was going home to test out his jostlebot!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
I said ‘Baywatch’ should be called ‘Gaywatch’ and that Mitch Buchanan was a big, curly haired tosspot and Herman stormed off in a Hasselhuff!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
We were having some drinks at a barbecue and I stripped off to my grots for a laugh, and he shouted,”thtop it and thit down you thtupid thod! It’th embarathing Thimon!”. What a total penith!
by Nuphagus January 19, 2020
I heard banging and swearing outside this morning. I looked out and Rex was smashing up his old Japanese motor with a sledgehammer! I reckon he’s got corollavirus!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
I heard that if you’re naughty, Ganesh, the elephant god, will come out of your cupboard and hoover your toys up his trunk. I think it’s just a turban myth.
by Nuphagus December 26, 2019