Nuphagus's definitions

Throatum

The result of an incredibly hard kick in the testicles

I called her a lesbian wrestling munter and she booted me so hard in the knackers, I ended up with a throatum! I thought I was gonna cough my nads out!

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019

Bumguffery

The covert art of leaving a room after doing a smelly, lingering fart.

Strewth! What’s that stench in here. I detect the distinct whiff of bumguffery

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Whistling choc chips

To follow through with a fart and soil yourself

“I think you need to check your grots Bruv. That one sounded like you whistled choc chips!”, “I had the trots so bad I had to throw four pairs of pants away yesterday. Every time I farted, I was whistling choc chips! It ruined the wedding.”

by Nuphagus November 14, 2019

Red zeppelin

Sore knob

I did that marathon in a pair of swimming shorts with a mesh lining! They were rubbing my todger for 26 miles! I had a red zeppelin when I got home!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Scuffing the china

Skidding up the toilet pan, leaving a trail of faeces on the toilet porcelain.

“Bruv, I swear, he had proper o.c.d! He said if I was having a poo, to make sure I used the loo brush! Ha! I done a massive dump and left a big skid down the back of his throne! He’ll ban me from his gaff for scuffing the China! It stank! Then I left.”

by Nuphagus November 20, 2019

Jingle bellend

An idiot at Christmas

You should’ve seen Colin at the office Christmas party. He squeezed Debbie from resources nipples in a nutcracker and then dropped his trolleys and farted in the bowl of fruit punch! What a jingle bellend!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Scumcosh

Really baggy scrotum making the testicles resemble snooker balls in a sock, as used by Ray Winston in the movie,’Scum’

That dude should’ve worn some longer shorts! Look, his scumcosh is hanging out of the gusset!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020