44 definitions by Nuphagus
Itchy anus which occurs when you’re at least seven miles walk away from a toilet. Usually due to being one wipe short of a clean bum.
I had dump just before the half marathon started. The bog roll was like tracing paper! I got halfway round and got the seven mile itch! I spent the last 6 miles scratching my ring piece and the next 6 hours with my Harris in a bowl of warm water!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
That bird had a face like the elephant man’s ball bag! Mind you, she had massive bangers, long legs and dressed like a Trollope. Linda must’ve been thinking with her phantom phallus when she hit on that munter!
by Nuphagus January 4, 2020
“Man, my face hurts! He broke my nose, my cheek, my jaw and knocked out four of my teeth! All I did was tell him his shirt looked like a woman’s blouse and he unloaded a barrage of punches with those flippin’ great udderfists of his! My face must look like an intestine!”
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
That poor woman! She came out of the clinic with one c-cup and one double d! It looks like she’s got an ubernork! Dunno how she’ll get bras.
by Nuphagus January 5, 2020
“Bruv, I swear, he had proper o.c.d! He said if I was having a poo, to make sure I used the loo brush! Ha! I done a massive dump and left a big skid down the back of his throne! He’ll ban me from his gaff for scuffing the China! It stank! Then I left.”
by Nuphagus November 20, 2019
His missus caught him bang to rights committing palmed throbbery in the shed! He was sentenced to a year of being the laughingstock of the boozer.
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019