by Nuphagus January 04, 2020

Horrence was up to his usual bumguffery at Reg and Hilda’s golden wedding anniversary. Reg was just giving his speech. He said ,”I’m lucky enough to say I’ve spent half a century married to this wonderful...”, and Horrence let one go at about 100 decibels!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020

I heard that if you’re naughty, Ganesh, the elephant god, will come out of your cupboard and hoover your toys up his trunk. I think it’s just a turban myth.
by Nuphagus December 26, 2019

“Man, my face hurts! He broke my nose, my cheek, my jaw and knocked out four of my teeth! All I did was tell him his shirt looked like a woman’s blouse and he unloaded a barrage of punches with those flippin’ great udderfists of his! My face must look like an intestine!”
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019

I heard banging and swearing outside this morning. I looked out and Rex was smashing up his old Japanese motor with a sledgehammer! I reckon he’s got corollavirus!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020

I took the drinks trolley along the pensioners ward and when I leaned over to give mrs Cauliflower her tea, she pumped a right musty old stinker out her greynus! That’ll teach me for calling her an “old cow”.
by Nuphagus December 07, 2019

I said ‘Baywatch’ should be called ‘Gaywatch’ and that Mitch Buchanan was a big, curly haired tosspot and Herman stormed off in a Hasselhuff!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
