Nuphagus's definitions

Volcanus

A particularly explosive bottom during a poo

Strike a light, my bum was like an erupting volcanus this morning! The minute my cheeks touched the seat,’BANG!’, there was brown lava spewing out of my crater. Good job I didn’t try and fart or I’d have got magma in my grots for sure!

by Nuphagus April 12, 2020

Throatum

The result of an incredibly hard kick in the testicles

I called her a lesbian wrestling munter and she booted me so hard in the knackers, I ended up with a throatum! I thought I was gonna cough my nads out!

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019

Autignorant

When somebody is so rude that you wonder if they’re autistic.

I said good morning to Clive three times this morning and even offered him a biscuit and he just grunted and took no notice. Then he got up farted and walked off. He’s autignorant!

by Nuphagus December 31, 2019

Trampax

A dead rodent used as a makeshift tampon.

Olga came on halfway through the hen do. We had a rummage through the bins for something she could use. She used a dead rat in the end. Talk about trampax.

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Cracktating

Accidentally leaking diarrhoea in trousers

Ha ha! Look at that brown, wet patch on the bum of that fella’s strides! He must be cracktating!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Drop the wogs off at the mosque

Have a poo

I’ve eaten too much. Where’s ya pan? I need to drop the wogs off at the mosque!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Jostlebot

Crappy homemade masterbating machine I.e pneumatically operated,mechanical Lego technic hand in a rubber glove.

I looked in quentin’s window the other day. He had a Henry hoover in a blonde wig and false eye lashes giving him a nosh! He said he was going home to test out his jostlebot!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020