“I think you need to check your grots Bruv. That one sounded like you whistled choc chips!”, “I had the trots so bad I had to throw four pairs of pants away yesterday. Every time I farted, I was whistling choc chips! It ruined the wedding.”
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
Itchy anus which occurs when you’re at least seven miles walk away from a toilet. Usually due to being one wipe short of a clean bum.
I had dump just before the half marathon started. The bog roll was like tracing paper! I got halfway round and got the seven mile itch! I spent the last 6 miles scratching my ring piece and the next 6 hours with my Harris in a bowl of warm water!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
That bird had a face like the elephant man’s ball bag! Mind you, she had massive bangers, long legs and dressed like a Trollope. Linda must’ve been thinking with her phantom phallus when she hit on that munter!
by Nuphagus January 04, 2020
“Man, my face hurts! He broke my nose, my cheek, my jaw and knocked out four of my teeth! All I did was tell him his shirt looked like a woman’s blouse and he unloaded a barrage of punches with those flippin’ great udderfists of his! My face must look like an intestine!”
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
That poor woman! She came out of the clinic with one c-cup and one double d! It looks like she’s got an ubernork! Dunno how she’ll get bras.
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
Crappy homemade masterbating machine I.e pneumatically operated,mechanical Lego technic hand in a rubber glove.
I looked in quentin’s window the other day. He had a Henry hoover in a blonde wig and false eye lashes giving him a nosh! He said he was going home to test out his jostlebot!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
“Mate, I reckon those big ok’ bangers are fitted with crimson hubcaps! Look at the size of the wheel nuts!“
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019