Nuphagus's definitions

Godbeered

To be overtaken by a hulking, behemoth of a man running like a cheetah on rocket skates.

“I was doing about 60 on my GPZ the other night. I rode past some meatheads having a go at a woman. I heard some shouting and the next thing I know I’ve been Godbeered! This huge,Minotaur looking fella went legging it past me like a whippet on crack!”

by Nuphagus February 3, 2021

Autignorant

When somebody is so rude that you wonder if they’re autistic.

I said good morning to Clive three times this morning and even offered him a biscuit and he just grunted and took no notice. Then he got up farted and walked off. He’s autignorant!

by Nuphagus December 31, 2019

Trampax

A dead rodent used as a makeshift tampon.

Olga came on halfway through the hen do. We had a rummage through the bins for something she could use. She used a dead rat in the end. Talk about trampax.

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Jostlebot

Crappy homemade masterbating machine I.e pneumatically operated,mechanical Lego technic hand in a rubber glove.

I looked in quentin’s window the other day. He had a Henry hoover in a blonde wig and false eye lashes giving him a nosh! He said he was going home to test out his jostlebot!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Drop the wogs off at the mosque

Have a poo

I’ve eaten too much. Where’s ya pan? I need to drop the wogs off at the mosque!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Cracktating

Accidentally leaking diarrhoea in trousers

Ha ha! Look at that brown, wet patch on the bum of that fella’s strides! He must be cracktating!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Throatum

The result of an incredibly hard kick in the testicles

I called her a lesbian wrestling munter and she booted me so hard in the knackers, I ended up with a throatum! I thought I was gonna cough my nads out!

by Nuphagus December 11, 2019