“Mate, I bet you’re gonna be milking the yellow teats before you meet that bird tomorrow. You’ve got a face like a page from a Braille book in large print!”
by Nuphagus November 20, 2019
by Nuphagus December 24, 2019
“My nads were killing me when I woke up and I didn’t know why. Then Barry came round and gave me scrotal recall. He said I grabbed hold of Linda’s norms and she booted me right in the queensburys!”
by Nuphagus November 15, 2019
by Nuphagus January 14, 2020
Strike a light, my bum was like an erupting volcanus this morning! The minute my cheeks touched the seat,’BANG!’, there was brown lava spewing out of my crater. Good job I didn’t try and fart or I’d have got magma in my grots for sure!
by Nuphagus April 12, 2020
A big, fresh dog poo waiting just around a busy corner to ruin a poor, unsuspecting pedestrian’s day
I was out jogging in my brand new, white sneakers yesterday, turned into north street and went surfing on a massive turd of prey! I swear it was just waiting to ruin my trainers. I spent 5 hours cleaning cack out of the soles with my mum’s toothbrush!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
I did that marathon in a pair of swimming shorts with a mesh lining! They were rubbing my todger for 26 miles! I had a red zeppelin when I got home!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020