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Nuphagus's definitions

Udderfists

Unusually large hands
“Man, my face hurts! He broke my nose, my cheek, my jaw and knocked out four of my teeth! All I did was tell him his shirt looked like a woman’s blouse and he unloaded a barrage of punches with those flippin’ great udderfists of his! My face must look like an intestine!”
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
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Hasselhuff

State of anger reached when someone mocks David Hasselhoff
I said ‘Baywatch’ should be called ‘Gaywatch’ and that Mitch Buchanan was a big, curly haired tosspot and Herman stormed off in a Hasselhuff!
by Nuphagus January 5, 2020
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Bumguffery

The art of dropping sneaky farts in naughty places, I.e weddings, funerals or minute silences.
Horrence was up to his usual bumguffery at Reg and Hilda’s golden wedding anniversary. Reg was just giving his speech. He said ,”I’m lucky enough to say I’ve spent half a century married to this wonderful...”, and Horrence let one go at about 100 decibels!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
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Twatulance

I swear that Doris kept pumping out her front bum. She must have twatulance!
by Nuphagus January 4, 2020
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Palmed throbbery

His missus caught him bang to rights committing palmed throbbery in the shed! He was sentenced to a year of being the laughingstock of the boozer.
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
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Bum the hamster

To catch the end of your penis in the zip of your trousers.
I’ve started wearing button fly jeans now. Every time I do up a zip I seem to bum the hamster. It kills the end of my todger and hurts like heck trying to get it back out again!
by Nuphagus December 11, 2019
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Seven mile itch

Itchy anus which occurs when you’re at least seven miles walk away from a toilet. Usually due to being one wipe short of a clean bum.
I had dump just before the half marathon started. The bog roll was like tracing paper! I got halfway round and got the seven mile itch! I spent the last 6 miles scratching my ring piece and the next 6 hours with my Harris in a bowl of warm water!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
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