44 definitions by Nuphagus

Umbollockle cord

A pubic hair which gets trapped in your flys making it impossible to stand up without hurting your scrotum

I tried doing my zip up under the table cos I could feel a draught round my todger, but when I went to stand up I thought I was gonna pull my ballbag off! It was trapped by an umbollockle cord!

by Nuphagus December 26, 2019

Crimson hubcaps

Extremely large nipples

“Mate, I reckon those big ok’ bangers are fitted with crimson hubcaps! Look at the size of the wheel nuts!“

by Nuphagus November 14, 2019

Greynus

Old person’s bumhole

I took the drinks trolley along the pensioners ward and when I leaned over to give mrs Cauliflower her tea, she pumped a right musty old stinker out her greynus! That’ll teach me for calling her an “old cow”.

by Nuphagus December 7, 2019

Hasselhuff

State of anger reached when someone mocks David Hasselhoff

I said ‘Baywatch’ should be called ‘Gaywatch’ and that Mitch Buchanan was a big, curly haired tosspot and Herman stormed off in a Hasselhuff!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Muff buzzard

Sad individual who spends whole evenings in a pub or club hovering round a woman hoping for a bit of action.

Look at that creep circling around that bird trying to get his end away. What a muff buzzard!

by Nuphagus December 19, 2019

Twatulance

Habitual fanny farting

I swear that Doris kept pumping out her front bum. She must have twatulance!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Whistling choc chips

To follow through with a fart and soil yourself

“I think you need to check your grots Bruv. That one sounded like you whistled choc chips!”, “I had the trots so bad I had to throw four pairs of pants away yesterday. Every time I farted, I was whistling choc chips! It ruined the wedding.”

by Nuphagus November 14, 2019