Definitions by Nuphagus

Phantom phallus 

The imaginary penis, a lesbian thinks with when she’s checking out women

That bird had a face like the elephant man’s ball bag! Mind you, she had massive bangers, long legs and dressed like a Trollope. Linda must’ve been thinking with her phantom phallus when she hit on that munter!

Phantom phallus by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Jostlebot 

Crappy homemade masterbating machine I.e pneumatically operated,mechanical Lego technic hand in a rubber glove.

I looked in quentin’s window the other day. He had a Henry hoover in a blonde wig and false eye lashes giving him a nosh! He said he was going home to test out his jostlebot!

Jostlebot by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Ubernork

When one silicon breast enlargement is clearly bigger than the other.

That poor woman! She came out of the clinic with one c-cup and one double d! It looks like she’s got an ubernork! Dunno how she’ll get bras.

Ubernork by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Drop the wogs off at the mosque

Have a poo

I’ve eaten too much. Where’s ya pan? I need to drop the wogs off at the mosque!

Drop the wogs off at the mosque by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Twatulance 

Habitual fanny farting

I swear that Doris kept pumping out her front bum. She must have twatulance!

Twatulance by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Trampax 

A dead rodent used as a makeshift tampon.

Olga came on halfway through the hen do. We had a rummage through the bins for something she could use. She used a dead rat in the end. Talk about trampax.

Trampax by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Autignorant 

When somebody is so rude that you wonder if they’re autistic.

I said good morning to Clive three times this morning and even offered him a biscuit and he just grunted and took no notice. Then he got up farted and walked off. He’s autignorant!

Autignorant by Nuphagus December 31, 2019