Nuphagus's definitions

Phantom phallus

The imaginary penis, a lesbian thinks with when she’s checking out women

That bird had a face like the elephant man’s ball bag! Mind you, she had massive bangers, long legs and dressed like a Trollope. Linda must’ve been thinking with her phantom phallus when she hit on that munter!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Twatulance

Habitual fanny farting

I swear that Doris kept pumping out her front bum. She must have twatulance!

by Nuphagus January 4, 2020

Bumguffery

The art of dropping sneaky farts in naughty places, I.e weddings, funerals or minute silences.

Horrence was up to his usual bumguffery at Reg and Hilda’s golden wedding anniversary. Reg was just giving his speech. He said ,”I’m lucky enough to say I’ve spent half a century married to this wonderful...”, and Horrence let one go at about 100 decibels!

by Nuphagus March 14, 2020

Hasselhuff

State of anger reached when someone mocks David Hasselhoff

I said ‘Baywatch’ should be called ‘Gaywatch’ and that Mitch Buchanan was a big, curly haired tosspot and Herman stormed off in a Hasselhuff!

by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Umbollockle cord

A pubic hair which gets trapped in your flys making it impossible to stand up without hurting your scrotum

I tried doing my zip up under the table cos I could feel a draught round my todger, but when I went to stand up I thought I was gonna pull my ballbag off! It was trapped by an umbollockle cord!

by Nuphagus December 26, 2019

Greynus

Old person’s bumhole

I took the drinks trolley along the pensioners ward and when I leaned over to give mrs Cauliflower her tea, she pumped a right musty old stinker out her greynus! That’ll teach me for calling her an “old cow”.

by Nuphagus December 7, 2019

Corollavirus

Illness suffered by people who are sick of their old Toyota

I heard banging and swearing outside this morning. I looked out and Rex was smashing up his old Japanese motor with a sledgehammer! I reckon he’s got corollavirus!

by Nuphagus March 14, 2020