Volcanus

A particularly explosive bottom during a poo
Strike a light, my bum was like an erupting volcanus this morning! The minute my cheeks touched the seat,’BANG!’, there was brown lava spewing out of my crater. Good job I didn’t try and fart or I’d have got magma in my grots for sure!
by Nuphagus April 12, 2020
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Scrotal recall

Being reminded why your testicles hurt the day after a drunken session.
“My nads were killing me when I woke up and I didn’t know why. Then Barry came round and gave me scrotal recall. He said I grabbed hold of Linda’s norms and she booted me right in the queensburys!”
by Nuphagus November 15, 2019
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Plopportunity

The chance to have a crafty dump behind a bush when nobody is watching
I had a tortoise head! The girls were all chatting and I had bit of old tissue in my pocket, so I dived in the hedge and turned one out! It was the perfect plopportunity.
by Nuphagus February 26, 2020
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Bum the hamster

To catch the end of your penis in the zip of your trousers.
I’ve started wearing button fly jeans now. Every time I do up a zip I seem to bum the hamster. It kills the end of my todger and hurts like heck trying to get it back out again!
by Nuphagus December 11, 2019
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Bumguffery

The art of dropping sneaky farts in naughty places, I.e weddings, funerals or minute silences.
Horrence was up to his usual bumguffery at Reg and Hilda’s golden wedding anniversary. Reg was just giving his speech. He said ,”I’m lucky enough to say I’ve spent half a century married to this wonderful...”, and Horrence let one go at about 100 decibels!
by Nuphagus March 14, 2020
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Bumguffery

The covert art of leaving a room after doing a smelly, lingering fart.
Strewth! What’s that stench in here. I detect the distinct whiff of bumguffery
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
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Jingle bellend

You should’ve seen Colin at the office Christmas party. He squeezed Debbie from resources nipples in a nutcracker and then dropped his trolleys and farted in the bowl of fruit punch! What a jingle bellend!
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
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