Definitions by Nick D

Stanford University 

A school in Palo Alto, CA that is generally considered one of the top 5 academic institutions and the premier sports school in America. The girls are extremely beat and the party scene is deader than Leland Stanford Jr., but still.

Joe had a 1600 SAT score, a perfect 4.0 GPA, was class president, state champion in 3 sports, and started an non-profit orphanage in Ethiopia. Harvard, Yale, MIT, and Princeton were drooling over that motherfucker. Stanford rejected him flat-out.

9 out of 10 girls in California is hot. The 10th one goes to Stanford, or UC-Berkeley.

Stanford University by Nick D September 29, 2003

Rafael Palmeiro 

A very distinguished major league baseball player with over 500 career home runs who lacks the ability to obtain an erection without the good ol' purple pill we all know and love. You've probably seen him on their commercials.

Before Viagra came around, Rafael Palmeiro hit 300 home runs and had over 1000 RBIs, but he never scored.

Dave: "So how was Jenny last night? That girl is bangin'. Did you beat it up?"
Jack: "Nope. I smoked too much of the reefer and ended up pulling a Rafael Palmeiro."
Dave: "Don't worry man, you're probably just gay."

Rafael Palmeiro by Nick D September 26, 2003

ticket 

the thing to do, sort of like the bomb diggity

Pete: "Whats up Kevin."
Kevin: "Nothing, whats up with you?"
Pete: "Nothing."
Kevin: "Hey, guess what I did last night. I met a dirty Japanese whore at 2 AM and got my nob slopped for $10."
Pete: "That's cool."
(long, awkward silence)
Kevin: "So......what did you do last night?"
Pete: "Oh not too much. I rented an Escalade on 22's from Enterprise, wore my throwback and du-rag, and pretended I was getting a deal with Shady Records. I must have nailed at least 6 or 7 dumb hood rat bitches."
Kevin: "That's the ticket."

ticket by Nick D September 26, 2003

the cascine 

The largest temp agency in Florence (Italy). Also a park. They only offer one job, depending on your gender: a prostitute or a drug dealer.

10 years ago, I went to the cascine broke and homeless. Now I've got my own whorehouse and bring in $50,000 a year.

the cascine by Nick D September 25, 2003

hunt for the green october 

A search for marijuana, usually involves making phone calls and asking random people on the street. Has absolutely nothing to do with nuclear submarine warfare or those fucking Commies.

"Where's Tommy tonight?"
"He went out on a hunt for the green october about 4 hours ago."
"Oh."
"Sometimes you just gotta smoke."

hunt for the green october by Nick D September 25, 2003

double-click your own mouse 

the act of being a female and masturbating using your hand

Kelly: "So how was Jimmy last night? Did he beat that up...I mean did he hit it?"
Sara: "Almost, but he pulled a Rafael Palmeiro and couldn't get it up. So I went in the bathroom and double-clicked my own mouse."

double-click your own mouse by Nick D September 25, 2003