Nick D's definitions

absinth

A green liquid containing 60-80% alcohol and wormwood absinth. Good absinth (illegal in most countries) can cause hallucination. Bad absinth just gets you really wasted. Many people believe absinth was the cause of a lot of old French guys going crazy in the 18th and 19th centuries.

The Stanford Tri Delt was straight tore up when I was sober, but as I downed more and more absinth, she magically transformed to beat to slightly below average to nothing to write home about to blowed. Then I got her indabutt and was very surprised when I woke up next to a disgusting pig the next morning.

by Nick D December 4, 2003

see ya later, alligator

Something you say when you intend to say goodbye to someone and come out of the closet at the same time.

Fred: "Well I'm gonna get out of here. Later dogg."
James: "See ya later, alligator."
Fred: "Oh, so that's why you work at Banana Republic. Man, I always thought you were just a flaming metro."

by Nick D January 26, 2004

jewdar

The innate ability to detect Jewishness in another person. Like a sixth sense.

"Yo check out the guy with the pigtails and yammulke. Jewdar off the charts."
"Oh you mean Jedediah over there? No, he's Presbyterian, obviously, bitch."

Some guy: "Shalom baby, 'jew' lookin' mighty fine tonight."
Girl: "What!!?!? I'm not Jewish, motherfucker. I'm Hindu. Nice jewdar."
Some guy: "Oh, sorry, I didn't see that red dot on your head. And that kimono or whatever it is. Oh yeah, and I guess you do look sort of Indian too. So, how 'bout you take me back to the reservation with you? You can be Pocahontas and I'll be the John Smith. Then we can bang."
(gets bitch-slapped)

by Nick D November 21, 2003

too cool for school

A state in which a person thinks him or herself superior to everyone else in a given group or in general. Generally used sarcastically.

Ben Stiller: "You may think you're too cool for school. But I got a news flash for you...you AREN'T."
(Zoolander)

by Nick D November 3, 2003

sleep debt

Something you accumulate whenever you don't sleep an adequate amount on a given night. In the ghetto they call it "slizzeep to da dizzebt".

If sleep debt was dollars, yo' mama would be a rich bitch.

by Nick D March 17, 2003

farm team system

The practice of rating women using the baseball farm team system:
Major League (8-10)
AAA (6 1/2-8)
AA (5-6 1/2)
Hi A (4-5)
Lo A (3-4)
Rookie League (1-3)
Cape Cod League (or Bush League) (< 1)

People will generally play within their leagues, occasionally going up or down a league. Someone who plays up two leagues or more is either very lucky or pulling some shady shit. Someone who plays down two or more leagues is either desperate, really drunk, or has absolutely no standards for whatever reason.

Even Ol' Dirty Pete, who had no standards whatsoever and routinely dated girls from all leagues of the farm team system, nearly lost his lunch when bush league Gretchen, who looked like she'd just raided an entire McDonald's and then been picked up by a tornado, bombarded with debris, and dropped on her face into a briar patch, showed up at the pool in a G-string bikini.

by Nick D November 8, 2004

Lil Jon cannonball

A variation on the drinking feat known as the cannonball where one partakes in such an action with one's hand on a window sill and feet on the wall (from the window to the wall), or vice versa, while suspended several feet above the ground and using one's free hand to rest the liquor bottle on the elbow and drink. After completing the cannonball, the performer must yell "Yeeeeeeah!" in true Lil Jon fashion. This is a physically challenging feat, one not likely to be bested.

My flawless Lil Jon cannonball execution topped even Maria's "Lil Kim cannonball", which involved drinking while swinging around a strippers' pole in edible underwear, and Kevin's "R. Kelly cannonball", where he drank while peeing on a 15-year-old girl.

by Nick D December 1, 2004