Definitions by Nicholas D
slap your grandma
A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother. If someone takes this literally it could at best cause an awkward situation and at worst cause your entire family to fall apart.
"Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"
slap your grandma by Nicholas D May 23, 2008
whiskey night
A night when you go straight for the hard stuff because you're in it to get wasted, not just to get a slight buzz. A country term, often used when one is getting over a stressful occurrence.
"Is it a whiskey night, or just a couple beers? I mean what kinda gone are we talkin' 'bout here?" -Chris Cagle, "What Kinda Gone"
Son (prancing in): "Hey dad, guess what, I'm GAAAAAAY! Meet my new boyfriend, Jean-Claude."
Dad: "Oh lord, looks like this is gonna be a whiskey night..."
Son (prancing in): "Hey dad, guess what, I'm GAAAAAAY! Meet my new boyfriend, Jean-Claude."
Dad: "Oh lord, looks like this is gonna be a whiskey night..."
whiskey night by Nicholas D May 9, 2008
adjunk
Derogatory term for adjuncts, ingredients added to low-end beer to lower production costs. Examples are rice (used by Budweiser and Coors) and corn syrup (used by Miller). Adjunk detracts from the malty flavor and makes the final product more watery and more drinkable for people who don't like beer, yet less drinkable for people who do.
Steve: "Want something to drink?"
Kevin: "Got any beer?"
Steve: "I've got Budweiser, Miller, and Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA - which one do you want?"
Kevin: "WHAAAAAAT??? Are you crazy? Miller is cornier than a Color Me Badd video and Bud is more ricey than a tricked-out Honda Civic! Give me the Dogfish Head! You can drink that watery adjunk yourself!"
Kevin: "Got any beer?"
Steve: "I've got Budweiser, Miller, and Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA - which one do you want?"
Kevin: "WHAAAAAAT??? Are you crazy? Miller is cornier than a Color Me Badd video and Bud is more ricey than a tricked-out Honda Civic! Give me the Dogfish Head! You can drink that watery adjunk yourself!"
adjunk by Nicholas D March 28, 2008
CDO
Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
CDO by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
vote with your feet
Boss: "As you know, it's been a tough year. We've lost $4 billion. So your bonus this year is going to be...um...negative $100,000. So if you would be so kind as to go ahead and return the full amount of every paycheck you've received this year, that would be greeeeaaat, m'kay?"
Subprime mortgage trader: "What? That's not fair! It's not my fault! You're the one who decided to buy all those Ninja loans, CDOs, and Bear Stearns shares!"
Boss: "Too bad, chief. If you don't like it, vote with your feet."
Paul McCartney: "Bloody hell, woman - what's taking so long? Get me that sammich now!"
Heather Mills: "You can't treat me like this! I'm your wife, not your slave!"
Paul McCartney: "I'm Paul McCartney, bitch! If you've got a problem, vote with your feet! Oops, I mean vote with your FOOT...hahahahahahaha! "
(NOTE: for those who don't know, Heather Mills had her left leg amputated)
Subprime mortgage trader: "What? That's not fair! It's not my fault! You're the one who decided to buy all those Ninja loans, CDOs, and Bear Stearns shares!"
Boss: "Too bad, chief. If you don't like it, vote with your feet."
Paul McCartney: "Bloody hell, woman - what's taking so long? Get me that sammich now!"
Heather Mills: "You can't treat me like this! I'm your wife, not your slave!"
Paul McCartney: "I'm Paul McCartney, bitch! If you've got a problem, vote with your feet! Oops, I mean vote with your FOOT...hahahahahahaha! "
(NOTE: for those who don't know, Heather Mills had her left leg amputated)
vote with your feet by Nicholas D March 25, 2008
DBAG
An abbreviation for Deutsche Bank AG, a German bank. The bank does not resent being called this - they actually use it in their official legal documents.
Paul: "Remember that German guy Wolfgang Schneidelberger from college?"
Ted: "Yeah, that guy really thought he was the cat's pajamas. What a Deutsche bag. What is that guy up to nowadays?"
Paul: "I heard he just got a job at Deutsche Bank selling subprime mortgage bonds to poor towns in third-world countries that don't know any better."
Ted: "So he's at DBAG, is he? Why am I not surprised?"
Ted: "Yeah, that guy really thought he was the cat's pajamas. What a Deutsche bag. What is that guy up to nowadays?"
Paul: "I heard he just got a job at Deutsche Bank selling subprime mortgage bonds to poor towns in third-world countries that don't know any better."
Ted: "So he's at DBAG, is he? Why am I not surprised?"
DBAG by Nicholas D March 3, 2008
not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone
A catch phrase popularized by the video "My New Haircut." Said when someone is on a roll or in a state of extreme focus and does not wish to be interrupted by someone that he/she deems unimportant and irrelevant.
From "My New Haircut":
Guy at desk: "Sir, you have to sign in."
Guido: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
Kindergarten Teacher: "Who wants to read the next couple pages of 'The Cat in the Hat?'. Let's see...Jimmy, how about you?"
Jimmy: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
Guy at desk: "Sir, you have to sign in."
Guido: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
Kindergarten Teacher: "Who wants to read the next couple pages of 'The Cat in the Hat?'. Let's see...Jimmy, how about you?"
Jimmy: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone by Nicholas D January 20, 2008