Nicholas D's definitions
A character on the show "Good Times." Also another name for rapper Jay-Z due to his striking resemblance to this character.
"J.J. Evans gettin' gunned up and clapped quick." -Nas, "Ether" (a Jay-Z diss track)
By getting with Beyonce, J.J. Evans gave new hope to all the jacked up looking dudes out there hoping to someday score hot-ass tail.
By getting with Beyonce, J.J. Evans gave new hope to all the jacked up looking dudes out there hoping to someday score hot-ass tail.
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Get the J.J. Evansmug. From Hank Williams Jr's song "Family Tradition":
Hank: "So don't ask me, Hank, why do you drink?"
Crowd: "To get drunk!"
Hank: "Hank, why do you roll smoke?"
Crowd: "To get high!"
Hank: "Why must you live out the songs that you wrote?"
Crowd: "To get laid!"
Hank: "So don't ask me, Hank, why do you drink?"
Crowd: "To get drunk!"
Hank: "Hank, why do you roll smoke?"
Crowd: "To get high!"
Hank: "Why must you live out the songs that you wrote?"
Crowd: "To get laid!"
by Nicholas D May 29, 2009
Get the roll smokemug. Zero Interest Rate Phenomenon. In the period of near-zero interest rates that lasted from roughly 2008-2021, cash was cheap and many people - especially large tech companies - were throwing away money on silly things. Those things went away in 2022 and are now known as ZIRPs.
Googler 1: “Arrrgh I can’t fix this bug! Can you call the office fluffer down here to help get my mind off this for a bit?”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
by Nicholas D March 24, 2024
Get the ZIRPmug. Mark: "So how did last night's badminton game go? Looks like you got a fat lip there."
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
by Nicholas D June 27, 2008
Get the 'cockmug. A common rule in the game/sport known as beirut or beer pong (without paddles) which states that the shooter's elbow must remain behind an imaginary plane extending upwards from the end of the table at all times throughout the throwing motion.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
Frat boy #1: "Oh man I just saw the World Series of Beer Pong IV championship video and they don't even have an elbow rule. The guys that won, Smashing Time, were basically leaning all the way over the table and dropping the ball into the cup. This game is so easy without an elbow rule! I could make every shot!"
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
by Nicholas D February 13, 2009
Get the elbow rulemug. A figurative tax that's imposed on people who do a job that benefits society, or as the "Silicon Valley" cliche goes, "makes the world a better place." Because more people want to do meaningful jobs than worthless ones, the pay tends to be lower. The opposite is the douchebag bonus, where someone makes more money for doing a job that contributes zero or negative value to society.
Jimmy works as as a researcher who has made significant advances in cancer treatment, but he only makes $70k a year because of the better place tax. Meanwhile, Chazz the hedge fund manager gets a huge douchebag bonus and managed to rake in $10 million last year even though all he did was lose a bunch of rich people a bunch of money.
by Nicholas D July 25, 2015
Get the better place taxmug. A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.
First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
by Nicholas D July 27, 2009
Get the first postermug.