Monkey's Dad's definitions

epidoomiology

The projection of worst-case scenarios in the face of an epidemic.

The government pressed him for an estimate of how many could die. He didn't want to indulge in epidoomiology, even knowing that the numbers were staggering

by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020

I can see through your eyes

A quiet expression of intimacy, shared when one can see through the eyes of another. Synchronicity of vision, across miles, between two people who have never met.

"I can see through your eyes", he said silently. So far away, she could hear him.

by Monkey's Dad June 16, 2022

Fauxmosexual

A false Fomosexual. Anyone who pretends to suffer from Fear of Missing Out regarding their sex life in order to not cause envy among friends.

Tiffany knew that Heather's complaints about her boyfriend's performance were simply fauxmosexuality. Anyone within a five-apartment radius could hear the truth.

by Monkey's Dad September 25, 2019

talent on loan from God

What Rush Limbaugh claimed to possess. Which says everything anyone will ever need, or want, to know about him.

"I have talent on loan from God."

by Monkey's Dad February 17, 2021

Themocracy

A system of government in which a politician's focus is directed toward one's opponents - "Them" - and not to their constituents.

Both parties devoted all of their time, energy and money to bringing each other down. Imagine if they spent it trying to make life better for those they were elected to 'represent'. We would have an actual Democracy, not the Themocracy we now suffer under.

by Monkey's Dad November 5, 2020

The full MTG

A degree of delusional derangement worthy of Marjorie Taylor Greene. Craziness on par with believing that the Sandy Hook massacre was staged, that Trump is a Messiah sent by God to smite the Democratic child-killers lurking under the pizza parlor, and indeed that he "won" the election. To clarify; that Adam Lanza did not kill any children but that Hillary and Biden regularly do so.

Have you spoken to Lauren recently? She gone the full MTG.

by Monkey's Dad February 2, 2021

2020WTF

A vanity license plate, spotted in Maine.

She stared numbly through the rain hitting her windshield, wondering if she were dreaming. There it really was, on the car in front of her, the truth of her life this year, the truth of everyone's life. 2020WTF.

by Monkey's Dad December 5, 2020