Definitions by Mike in Aurora, Colorado

Oyster in a Half Shell 

Normally, Oyster in a Half Shell is taken to mean a food dish. However, the extended and additional definition of that expression leads to that of the sexual nature. Now, it is also a phrase that denotes when a male ejaculates onto, or, into a woman's palm after she causes such an incident to occur after performing digital sex, or more commonly known as a hand job. Although it is basically understood that this refers to the same regarding prostitution, many non-professional women, married and unmarried, call it the same thing. Boasting by men about the act often occurs, somewhat like a badge of recognition, et al.,.

Hooker After Satisfying a Client: "Wow! He howled when I jerked him off and I ended up with an 'oyster in a half shell'!"

A Conferring Couple After Intercourse: "I loved it, dear! Your 'oyster in a half shell' was great!!" said Linda.

Man Who is a Legend in his Own Mind: "Yeah, I'm the man! Just did that girl. She then rubbed me off. Talk about 'oyster in a half shell'! There was so much cum that she's thinking about suing me because it slid off the sides of her hands and onto her expensive carpet!"

Oyster in a Half Shell by Mike in Aurora, Colorado May 21, 2008

Barakcracy 

A very nuevo term, or, modern terminology, referring to Democratic Presidential Candidate, Barak Obama, and the White House Cabinet, if, and or, when, he wins the election in 2008. It is simply set to describe the probable outcome in the event of such and occurance.

A Xenophobic Republican Voter: "Man! If that dude gets into office, we'll end up with a 'Barakcracy'! That's for sure!!"

An anti-Bush Voter: "I'll tell you what! If that guy makes it to presidency, it will be a Barakcracy. That's a hell of a lot better than that stupid and unrealistic Bush Administraton!"

A Pessimistic Observer: "If we get a 'Barakcracy', then we are truly in trouble."

Barakcracy by Mike in Aurora, Colorado May 21, 2008

Night Freak 

Is when a person is involuntarily accosted sexually, normally in the form of oral sex, generally referred to when it is the female initiating the act while she is awake and her male target is asleep. Although the scenario thus described is the most common usage, it does have derivatives and alternative sexual encounters that relate to the same. 1.) When an awake female performs oral sex, or fellatio, on a male when he is asleep. 2.) Any sexual situation that is perpetuated by a waking party, or parties, as the sexual target is accosted. 3.) Having an orgasm during a 'night freak' session, whether awake or asleep, when climax occurs. It is often a reciprocal statement of the obvious.

After a female pulls such a stunt on a sleeping male: "Whoa! I couldn't believe that such a church going girl like Linda would pull a 'night freak' on me like that!"

When a guy awakes during a 'night freak' and cums: "Oh, God! I just 'night freaked', baby!"

A gay encounter: "I thought he was just dreamy and he shot out buckets and howled like a wolf when I did a 'night freak' on him! Whadda guy!!"

Night Freak by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 29, 2008

Noots 

Derived from the Comedy Central show, South Park. In a good portion of the episodes, Eric Cartman (a.k.a Cartman), expresses the desire to, "Kick someone square in the nuts!". However, in a strong minority of the episodes mentioned, a distant Southern American accent can be heard. For example, Cartman says, "Ah will kick yew squaw (square) in the noots (nuts)!" Hence, 'noots', is just another word pertaining to the testicles. Also to be used, with punity, in conjuction with the following for direct reference: nuts, balls, beans, nards, nads, double plums, sperm compounds, or any number of other words that relate directly to testicles. Most often used in regards to doing some form of blunt harm to the same.

When Cartman Found Out About A Conspiracy By His Mother To Get Him Infected With Chicken Pox: "Oh, man! I'm going go downstairs and kick her 'squaw in the noots'!"

Bad Drug Deal: "Yo' G! That mother fucker sold me some bad H, man! I'm gonna cut off his noots!!"

Sex and the City Conversation: "He was really into it and got really turned on when I started playing with his 'noots'!"

Noots by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 10, 2008

Popped Lid

1.) In direct reference to the loss of a dental filling during, and as a result of, oral sex, almost in conjuction with fellatio, (oral and penial contact). 2.) Can also be used to describe a bad relationship, whether sexual or plutonic in nature. 3.) May also be used to describe something, or anything, that is negative.

Head Banging: "She went to town on me! Unfortunately, I had to comfort her while driving her to an all night dentist! We couldn't tell him that I was so wild in her mouth that it caused a 'popped lid'!"

Break Up: "I had to end it with Linda. Going out with her was a 'popped lid'!"

Parental Child Conflict: "Man! My mom is so freaked about the rave I wanted to go to that she acted so 'popped lid' about it all."

Popped Lid by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 22, 2008

Whoosh

1.) Predominately used in direct conjunction with a sound that is similiar, a 'whooshing' sound, as it were. 2.) A modern day word that follows a long history from origin to the present. Origin: From the word pussy, in direct application as used to describe either a vagina, or vaginas (plural), and/or can be used to describe either a coward or woos (part whimp and part pussy). Progression: In the early 1980's all the way up to now, the word woos was a hybrid of pussy and wimp. Present: Recently, the word whoosh has come into the spotlight. It follows up on all preceding definitons whereas the word dooche has been used to describe someone of low character, low esteem, loser, rip off artist, and any other applicable usages of that word. Hence, the word: Whoosh! 3.) A direct combination of the words: Pussy, * Woos, and dooche. Please note: Woos is already a derivative word.

Literature: He entered the building and the fresh air came in like a 'whoosh'! Needless to say, the fart smell vacated the front lobby expediently.

Sex: "He's such a 'whoosh'! He was quick on the trigger, didn't do any foreplay whatsoever, and he's been boasting 'bout what a stud he is! Sheeeit!"

Bad Drug Deal: "The stuff I tried was great, but the bag he sold me was mostly cut! That nigga Smith is such a 'whoosh'!"

Failed Relationship: "Karen appeared to be Ruth's friend, but after she pulled that number on her, she's nothin' but a big headed 'whoosh'!"

Whoosh by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 20, 2008

Subway Transfer 

1.) Pertains to the penetration of a female's vagina and then the anus by an erect penis on an alternating basis. Normally, it starts with first vaginal penetration, then anal, then vaginal again, and so forth. The duration can vary in length of either orafice, although it is standard to only apply this term to short durations for the same. (about three to ten seconds of actual penetration of either orafice before withdrawal of the penis for the intent of penetrating the adjacent orafice). * Warning: Should only be attempted with either a condom, regular physical check ups, and/or, with a singular partner relationship three to five years in progress.

Sexual Intent: "I wanna do a 'subway transfer' on that chick!"

Hemorrhoids: "I wouldn't have had such a huge 'rhoid if my husband didn't pull a 'subway transfer' on my ass all the time!"

Harmful Notion: "Man! That bitch is going pay for her stuff with a 'subway transfer' by me!"

Subway Transfer by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 13, 2008