Mike in Aurora, Colorado's definitions

Skiddles

1.) Skid marks (short to long steaks of manure) left at the bottom of a toilet bowl, normally a result of a dry dump' (manure evacuation devoid of proper water or moisture). 2.) Spackling of manure as the result of either diarrhea, extremely propelled pieces of dung, or, simply summer splashing (water and other local substances in a toilet bowl that splash one's buttocks, genitals and under thighs). 3.) Marks are normally as described in 1.) and are usually found within the surface of the toilet bowl, or the underneath rim. However, in certain cases it entails also the underside of a toilet seat, the top of the rim, and, or, the top side behind the toilet seat itself. 4.) A derogatory term used in place of the word dingleberry, or, dingleberries, inclusively.

Illegal Alien Hotel Workers: "Ay, caramba! That Gringo left mucho 'skiddles' in the crapper!!"

Maintenance Order: "Oh, by the way, Tom. When you clean the offices after hours, would you mind getting all those 'skiddles' in the execuive restroom? I appreciate it!" Said mister Ballebusder before leaving for the day.

Housewife Commiseration: "I love my husband with all my heart, but I just wish for once that he'd stop leaving so many damned 'skiddles' in the crapper! It's geee rosssss!"

High School Gossip: "Man! That Joey burned me when I bought grass from him. He's a real 'skiddles'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 13, 2008

Night Freak

Is when a person is involuntarily accosted sexually, normally in the form of oral sex, generally referred to when it is the female initiating the act while she is awake and her male target is asleep. Although the scenario thus described is the most common usage, it does have derivatives and alternative sexual encounters that relate to the same. 1.) When an awake female performs oral sex, or fellatio, on a male when he is asleep. 2.) Any sexual situation that is perpetuated by a waking party, or parties, as the sexual target is accosted. 3.) Having an orgasm during a 'night freak' session, whether awake or asleep, when climax occurs. It is often a reciprocal statement of the obvious.

After a female pulls such a stunt on a sleeping male: "Whoa! I couldn't believe that such a church going girl like Linda would pull a 'night freak' on me like that!"

When a guy awakes during a 'night freak' and cums: "Oh, God! I just 'night freaked', baby!"

A gay encounter: "I thought he was just dreamy and he shot out buckets and howled like a wolf when I did a 'night freak' on him! Whadda guy!!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 29, 2008

Buck Buck Buck

1. A term used in reference to a person who simply doesn't stop pontificating/talking. Usually the 'superpower' during a conversation. Someone who never runs out of material regardless of life situations for they do not stop talking! 2. A yappy little dog that resembles the features described in definition 1. Normally in the Terrier class of canine, but can just be a dog that, not unlike a human 'Buck Buck Buck', seemingly will not cease barking. 3. A political 'talking head' that promises things to no end in sight, however, more often than not, results in very little positive outcomes, though not always!

Cell phone patron: "She gets on the phone, girl, and is a real 'Buck Buck Buck'! Cannot keep her trap shut!!"

Houseguest: "Stan is a nice guy, but he's been here for three days and is too much of a 'Buck Buck Buck'! He needs to leave!!"

Bar: "Man! Normally Dave is reserved, but get a couple of Jaggermeisters in him and he turns into a real 'Buck Buck Buck'! Chatterbox city!!" Said the bartender.

A neighbor: "That little white Westie terrier is cute as hell, but man, what a 'Buck Buck Buck'! Won't stop yapping until either the owner shuts him up or if someone jokes about getting him fixed! Cares about his 'arf balls' too much!!

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 7, 2008

Chode Probe

1.) A very specialized method of stimulating not only the prostate, but surrounding items as well, such as muscles, nerves, tissues, blood, and a slew of the same near the anus. It involves either a normally erect penis, finger, medical stimulating electrode, dildo, racketball, or any other item that can apply a fair amount of pressure to the said area: chode; the pubic region between the bottom of the testicles all the way down to the lower edge of the anus. The object of the sexual partner or self gratification: masturbation is to produce either sensations to obtain an erection for the purpose of other forms of sexual pursuits. However, if constant impact of either an erect penis or otherwise is persistent, it may well result in not only a very active center of nerves and sexual organs, but may well achieve an explosive orgasm. 2.) The act of chode probing, or, any act of the same nature as outlined in detail in 1.).

Gay Sex: "No penetration, just a wonderful 'chode probe'!"

Hetrosexual Encounter: "Raul wasn't very excited until I pulled out my largest, life like, dildo and pounded him silly until he came five minutes later. Raul really loves his 'chode probes'!"

Introspective Literary Work: He kept slamming his sister's huge dildo against his 'chode' area for almost an hour. Finally, he pounded heavier and faster than before. As he came, the satisfied man realized that his 'chode probe' had definitely paid off!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 28, 2008

Camel Ass Taco

1.) Based on the movie starring, Larry the Cable Guy, 'Delta Farce'. When he and two of his buddies are accidently dropped off by the Army in Mexico instead of Iraq, they are befriended and taken in by the small town they inadvertedly saved from a local drug lord. When fed tacos, the guys are still convinced that they are in Iraq. After hearing that they were tacos, the trio concluded that it might contain camel meat. Hence, the dubbing name of Camel Ass Taco. 2.) Now used by several service men that refer to any kind of woman's anatomy from the Middle East. Persian Pussy is also currently referred to as Camel Ass Taco. 3.) A rascist description of many business owners, (i.e. Convenience store, liquor stores, gas stations, et al.,) Nomally used in context with Middle Eastern people, it is quite often transgressed to mean almost anyone from the Asian subcontinent, such as India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, et cetera.

Cusine: "That was great! Some wicked, 'Camel Ass Taco'!"

Sex: "I know that chick is from Iran, but she is a narly 'Camel Ass Taco', dude!"

Convenience store patron: "That guy running that joint is a real 'Camel Ass Taco'! Must be from turbanville somewhere."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 14, 2008

Condumb

1.) Description of a person that is either too stupid or too arrogant to wear a condom when performing sex or when about to perform the same. 2.) A really stupid convict or an ex-con, denoted for being extremely idiotic or devoid of common sense.

Sex: "If you think that I am gonna let you stick that thing in without protection, then you are a real 'condumb'! Better get reacquainted with your hand!!"

Gangs: "Boo Boo Bear got popped by the cops for something really stupid. He's a real 'condumb'!"

Prison: "Harry the Hun got parole, but he got into trouble again on the outside, so he's back. Whadda a 'condumb'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 24, 2008

Oyster in a Half Shell

Normally, Oyster in a Half Shell is taken to mean a food dish. However, the extended and additional definition of that expression leads to that of the sexual nature. Now, it is also a phrase that denotes when a male ejaculates onto, or, into a woman's palm after she causes such an incident to occur after performing digital sex, or more commonly known as a hand job. Although it is basically understood that this refers to the same regarding prostitution, many non-professional women, married and unmarried, call it the same thing. Boasting by men about the act often occurs, somewhat like a badge of recognition, et al.,.

Hooker After Satisfying a Client: "Wow! He howled when I jerked him off and I ended up with an 'oyster in a half shell'!"

A Conferring Couple After Intercourse: "I loved it, dear! Your 'oyster in a half shell' was great!!" said Linda.

Man Who is a Legend in his Own Mind: "Yeah, I'm the man! Just did that girl. She then rubbed me off. Talk about 'oyster in a half shell'! There was so much cum that she's thinking about suing me because it slid off the sides of her hands and onto her expensive carpet!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado May 21, 2008