Mike in Aurora, Colorado's definitions

Skiddles

1.) Skid marks (short to long steaks of manure) left at the bottom of a toilet bowl, normally a result of a dry dump' (manure evacuation devoid of proper water or moisture). 2.) Spackling of manure as the result of either diarrhea, extremely propelled pieces of dung, or, simply summer splashing (water and other local substances in a toilet bowl that splash one's buttocks, genitals and under thighs). 3.) Marks are normally as described in 1.) and are usually found within the surface of the toilet bowl, or the underneath rim. However, in certain cases it entails also the underside of a toilet seat, the top of the rim, and, or, the top side behind the toilet seat itself. 4.) A derogatory term used in place of the word dingleberry, or, dingleberries, inclusively.

Illegal Alien Hotel Workers: "Ay, caramba! That Gringo left mucho 'skiddles' in the crapper!!"

Maintenance Order: "Oh, by the way, Tom. When you clean the offices after hours, would you mind getting all those 'skiddles' in the execuive restroom? I appreciate it!" Said mister Ballebusder before leaving for the day.

Housewife Commiseration: "I love my husband with all my heart, but I just wish for once that he'd stop leaving so many damned 'skiddles' in the crapper! It's geee rosssss!"

High School Gossip: "Man! That Joey burned me when I bought grass from him. He's a real 'skiddles'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 13, 2008

Camel Ass Taco

1.) Based on the movie starring, Larry the Cable Guy, 'Delta Farce'. When he and two of his buddies are accidently dropped off by the Army in Mexico instead of Iraq, they are befriended and taken in by the small town they inadvertedly saved from a local drug lord. When fed tacos, the guys are still convinced that they are in Iraq. After hearing that they were tacos, the trio concluded that it might contain camel meat. Hence, the dubbing name of Camel Ass Taco. 2.) Now used by several service men that refer to any kind of woman's anatomy from the Middle East. Persian Pussy is also currently referred to as Camel Ass Taco. 3.) A rascist description of many business owners, (i.e. Convenience store, liquor stores, gas stations, et al.,) Nomally used in context with Middle Eastern people, it is quite often transgressed to mean almost anyone from the Asian subcontinent, such as India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, et cetera.

Cusine: "That was great! Some wicked, 'Camel Ass Taco'!"

Sex: "I know that chick is from Iran, but she is a narly 'Camel Ass Taco', dude!"

Convenience store patron: "That guy running that joint is a real 'Camel Ass Taco'! Must be from turbanville somewhere."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 14, 2008

Condumb

1.) Description of a person that is either too stupid or too arrogant to wear a condom when performing sex or when about to perform the same. 2.) A really stupid convict or an ex-con, denoted for being extremely idiotic or devoid of common sense.

Sex: "If you think that I am gonna let you stick that thing in without protection, then you are a real 'condumb'! Better get reacquainted with your hand!!"

Gangs: "Boo Boo Bear got popped by the cops for something really stupid. He's a real 'condumb'!"

Prison: "Harry the Hun got parole, but he got into trouble again on the outside, so he's back. Whadda a 'condumb'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 24, 2008

Bow Wow

1.) Refers to the sex act of doggie style or arf sex, where the male mounts the female from behind, normally vaginal contact, however, can also refer to anal sex in the same fashion. 2.) Having had good sex and boasting about the same, although it is not restricted in the sense of all within definition 1.). Can refer to almost any completed sex act.

Prostitute Query: "I charge the same for 'bow wow' as I would for missionary sex. Would you like that?"

Guy Talk: "We did it 'bow wow' for almost two hours, man!"

False Stud: "Yeah! Got her into 'bow wow' big time! I was good, dude!!" Said Andy, acting proud. However, Howard told Dilbert that it was not true because Sylvia never even saw Andy again. There was no way he could have had 'bow wow' with her, if anything.

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 24, 2008

Chode Probe

1.) A very specialized method of stimulating not only the prostate, but surrounding items as well, such as muscles, nerves, tissues, blood, and a slew of the same near the anus. It involves either a normally erect penis, finger, medical stimulating electrode, dildo, racketball, or any other item that can apply a fair amount of pressure to the said area: chode; the pubic region between the bottom of the testicles all the way down to the lower edge of the anus. The object of the sexual partner or self gratification: masturbation is to produce either sensations to obtain an erection for the purpose of other forms of sexual pursuits. However, if constant impact of either an erect penis or otherwise is persistent, it may well result in not only a very active center of nerves and sexual organs, but may well achieve an explosive orgasm. 2.) The act of chode probing, or, any act of the same nature as outlined in detail in 1.).

Gay Sex: "No penetration, just a wonderful 'chode probe'!"

Hetrosexual Encounter: "Raul wasn't very excited until I pulled out my largest, life like, dildo and pounded him silly until he came five minutes later. Raul really loves his 'chode probes'!"

Introspective Literary Work: He kept slamming his sister's huge dildo against his 'chode' area for almost an hour. Finally, he pounded heavier and faster than before. As he came, the satisfied man realized that his 'chode probe' had definitely paid off!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 28, 2008

Melvins

1.) The earlier of the modern term a wedgie or wedgy. It is defined primarily when a perpetrator goes behind an individual (normally a male), and yanks the underwear band up so as to get a major percentage of the underwear in question up the buttocks crevice. 2.) The results of insufficient wiping of the anus and surrounding areas thereof, which entails the common term skid marks (manure streaks in undergarments). 3.) The sensation that leads a person to conclude that A.) They are experiencing a less than fresh ass. B.) May have an undeterminate dingleberry remaining in the rectum, anus, or quite conceivably the less than desirable buttocks region. C.) Gives the false impression of the presence of Melvins, when, in fact, the nerve endings in the bottom of someone's ass are being affected by anal perspiration, or the tingling feelings caused by butt, or, pubic hairs, perhaps both! This may cause great anxiety with people on a date and those that are anticipating a potential sexual encounter.

High School Shenanigans: "I got that dork, Myron, and gave him the 'Melvins' so hard that it changed his singing voice!"

Laundry Person: "That bastard might be rich, but I wash his funky, stanky drawers all the time. The worst is when I run across his shorts and they have unremmovable 'Melvins'!"

Nervous Male: He was rather confident in his speech and demeanor, however, Joe the Maintenance at the Retreat near the city center, was overtly concerned about his 'Melvins'! He hoped that there was a restroom nearby so he could deal with the moist and sloppy feelings there.

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 29, 2008

Subway Transfer

1.) Pertains to the penetration of a female's vagina and then the anus by an erect penis on an alternating basis. Normally, it starts with first vaginal penetration, then anal, then vaginal again, and so forth. The duration can vary in length of either orafice, although it is standard to only apply this term to short durations for the same. (about three to ten seconds of actual penetration of either orafice before withdrawal of the penis for the intent of penetrating the adjacent orafice). * Warning: Should only be attempted with either a condom, regular physical check ups, and/or, with a singular partner relationship three to five years in progress.

Sexual Intent: "I wanna do a 'subway transfer' on that chick!"

Hemorrhoids: "I wouldn't have had such a huge 'rhoid if my husband didn't pull a 'subway transfer' on my ass all the time!"

Harmful Notion: "Man! That bitch is going pay for her stuff with a 'subway transfer' by me!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 13, 2008