Gherkin

Gherkins are pickles but the tiny kind. Hence, it is used as a metaphor for a tiny penis. May be used liberally.

Bill: Hey watcha doing Tom
Tom: Oh nothin bill, just jerkin the gherkin

Girl 1: Last night we bathed nude together and I found out he has a gherkin
Girl 2: Nice

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 30, 2022

I'm not crying you're crying

Some overly clichéd phrase people say to express that they are emotionally touched.

Emotional movie ending: *exist*
Someone: I'm not crying you're crying
Me: *rolls eyes*

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian August 02, 2021

Sus

A word that first became somewhat popular on the internet back in the late-2010s. I absolutely hated it when people said it back then, which was mostly used in relationship or private messaging contexts (e.g. girl texts her friend "this guy is sus"). But ever since among us became popular in 2020, the term took on a whole new identity. It still bore the same meaning, but now you can NEVER say this word without thinking about among us (and without causing others to think about it as well). It's literally infectious. Thank god.

In a discord server:

Girl User: @mod, @me is being sus in my DMs.

Me: SUS? AMOGUS???
Girl User: Can we kick him out please?
Me: BUT I AM NOT THE IMPOSTER 😳
Other User A: AMOGUS SUS
Other User B: AMOGUS FORTNITE SUSSY BALLS

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian November 01, 2022

1940s

Quite possibly the darkest decade of humanity. The onset of WWII really brought out the sheer brutality of human nature. Millions of unspeakable violent atrocities were committed by men who weren't even "evil".

The 1940s also marks the onset of the baby boomers, who were raised with traditional and conservative beliefs/principles.

Friend: Name which decade of the last century you'd least want to live in?
Me: The 1940s

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 26, 2020

echomislocation

When you drop an object—often something small—on the floor and you try to pick it up using sound cues, but it happens to be in the opposite location of what you've initially predicted.

Jim was busy writing his essay until he accidentally dropped his pencil on the floor. Without looking directly, he bent down towards his 5 o'clock because that's where he thought he had heard the pencil drop, but turns out that the pencil fell to his 12 o'clock. Jim just had a echomislocation.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian September 05, 2019

July 8, 2022

The day where Canadians experienced a nation-wide internet outage, causing people to flock to the nearest malls and Starbucks to use its Wi-Fi. Public apparatuses such as ATMs and PoS systems were rendered unusable, forcing thousands of businesses across Canada to close shop for the day.

Also goes to show that Canada's internet monopoly needs to fucking die (and lower their damn prices).

Guy 1: Hey remember July 8, 2022?
Guy 2: Wasn't that the day where Rogers themselves couldn't even access the internet to announce the outage?
Guy 1: Ye lol

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian July 09, 2022

cast a vote for trump

The act of taking a huge stinky shit!

Bro: Hey where you going man?

Me: I'll be right with you, I have to go cast a vote for Trump.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian November 06, 2019