Definitions by ManletDepreciator
matriculated manlet
The matriculated manlet is a silly, little manlet boy who is senselessly enrolled at a college or university. Here the completely delusional and diminutively dwarfed Oompa Loompa wastes his time (when not working shifts at the chocolate factory) by furiously staring at all the tall and happy couples who walk around the campus like the bitter and envious peewee manlet that he is, crying all alone in the girl's bathroom after being asked by campus security if he was there for Take Your Daughter to Work Day and if he had lost his daddy and by being stuffed into backpacks, lockers, trashcans, lunchboxes, drawers, toilets, empty cigarette packs, pencil cases and used condoms like the inherently effeminate and minusculely malformed midget manlet bully magnet that he was always destined to be. When not being examined microscopically while standing on a petri dish by horrified microbiology students, the matriculated manlet is free to indulge in his true passions of girlishly practicing his bumbling cheerdance routine in an effort to become the captain of the local manlet football cheer squad and undergoing a brutal hazing ritual in order to join the only fraternity that would accept him, the Sigma Beta Manlet, by engaging in a fight to the death against fourteen other oiled up, bikini-clad midgets in an electrified bird cage.
Emma: Hey, why is that matriculated manlet tearfully ranting about women while sitting in his BMW in the parking lot over there? I could barely understand his manletspeak. Why all of the manlet rage? Isabella: He approached me, introduced himself as the supreme gentleman and brusquely told me to get in his car so that I can delight in his fabulousness and magnificence. I simply looked down at him and laughingly called him a petite and utterly insignificant little manlet fairy and then he just ran away crying to his Manletmobile. Emma: Manlets, when will they learn?
matriculated manlet by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024
myopic manlet
The cerebrally and physically stunted myopic manlet is a microscopic mental midget of a minuscule manlet boy, who shortsightedly sees only the literally subhuman suffering of his own small-minded dwarven kind because, due to his eternal inability to grow up and be the bigger man, big picture thinking goes right over his pea-brained, little head. Deceased myopic manlets can often be found squashed flat as a pancake on country roads next to their close relative the, by comparison majestic, toad. Myopic manlets can easily be driven to venting their pent-up manlet rage and throwing a hissy fit with innocent questions and observations, such as: "Manlet detected.", "Nice high heels, my girlfriend has the same pair.", "Are you classified as a turbo-manlet? How tall are you?", "Aren't you the midget who played the manletservant Nick Nack in The Man with the Golden Gun?"
Manmore 1: Hey, why is that little girl crying in front of that beauty salon? Manmore 2: Myopic manlet detected. I think his new acrylic nails broke off when he got mauled by that chihuahua over there. Manmore 1: Lol, the victorious chihuahua even took the sissy manlet's high heels! Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
myopic manlet by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024
Todd Howard's tall tales
Next to having little hands and little eyes, Tiny Todd "Tippy Toes" Howard is known for walking around in high heels and tellin' great big lies. His long-suffering wifelet says that he's got a little schmeckle and tiny little teeth. He wears platform shoes on his nasty little feet. When detected in public it's evident that he's got little baby legs and that he stands so low, even a child would have to pick him up just to say hello! He should get in his little car and just go beep, beep, beep because nobody cares about his deceptive manletspeak. We don't want no more tall tales around here.
Manmore 1: Oh great, Bethesda is releasing another overpriced shovelware role-playing game soon. Little Napoleon Howard promised to finally add a height slider to the character creation menu this time. Manmore 2: That's just another one of Todd Howard's tall tales! That dwarfishly stunted, petite and effeminate microscopic runt of a homunculus Ewok sissy manlet boy is way too insecure about his laughably girlish height to ever permit such a thing. Manmore 1: What a meddling manlet he is! Short people got no reason. Manmore 2: Hahahahaha!
Todd Howard's tall tales by ManletDepreciator September 13, 2024
Napoleon complex deluxe
A much more extreme version of the devastatingly debilitating prototypical Napoleon complex, the absolutely crippling Napoleon complex deluxe afflicts only the most terminally insecure sissy manlet boys (dwarfed males shorter than 5ft10) and obviously all turbo-manlets (exceptionally stunted males from 4ft11 to 5ft4). Now not only infected with the lifelong curse of manletism and the naturally resulting Napoleon complex but additionally with a gnawing and ever-present Napoleon complex deluxe, the completely deranged little manlet henceforth stoops so low as to take his inferiority complex-induced manlet cope and manlet rage to new heights of insanity. Driven to madness by manletism and the ravages of his shortsightedness, small-mindedness and his eternal inability to be the bigger man, the Napoleon complex deluxe suffering misanthropic manlet can often be detected as he furiously saws down outdoor basketball hoops under the cover of darkness (and made almost indiscernible by his microscopic size), tearfully howls at the moon beneath underpass clearance signs in the middle of the night and as he chugs down barrels of boost oil brake fluid in the manlet pit behind your local service station in a childishly futile attempt at finally triggering a growth spurt. An infinitesimal Napoleon complex deluxe infected turbo-manlet may be hiding under one of your fingernails at this very moment!
Amelia: Lol, why is Tom "Stop calling me a midget!" Cruise crying his eyes out while balancing on a golf ball and juggling burning matches over there? Layla: It must be his time of the month - clearly his Napoleon complex deluxe is acting up again. Amelia: Manlets, when will they learn?
Napoleon complex deluxe by ManletDepreciator September 13, 2024
misanthropic manlet
The perpetually petulant, paranoid and pessimistic petite misanthropic manlet is an isolated loner manlet who childishly shuns the company of grown-ups and instead prefers to focus his girlishly giddy energy on pursuing his numerous hobbies, including but not limited to: alcoholism, compulsively measuring his immutably dwarfed height every five minutes, e-shopping for children's clothes and high heels, daydreaming about getting pegged by a seven-foot tall dominatrix while he sings Short People in his high-pitched and squeaky-voiced manletspeak, performing delusional height increasing stretching exercises while listening to Skee-Lo's "I wish" and wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra, venting his manlet rage by ranting about how all women (righteously) reject and laugh at him at his local Bagel Boss and putting the finishing touches on his manlet manifesto before shooting up his favorite Barbie Dreamhouse due to the Barbie doll he was crushing on calling him an inherently effeminate, microscopically infinitesimal stunted beastling of a sissy manlet boy when she caught him in the Dreamhouse manlet pit as the deranged low IQ manlet was stupidly attempting to give the, by comparison towering, Ken doll a standing blowjob.
Emma: Lol, why is that misanthropic manlet furiously dry humping that garden gnome over there? Allison: It's because manlets can't be choosers. Emma: Short people got nobody. Allison: Hahahahaha!
misanthropic manlet by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024
Short People manlet gang
A grotesquely gnomish gaggle of ganged-up, overcompensating turbo-manlets who have, in a childish, desperate and doomed attempt at overcoming their crippling manletism, decided to form a midget gang. Once a diminutively dwarfed new recruit has been sexed-into the gang, it is mandatory for him to participate in typical gang activities, for example: tagging up turf by spray-painting garden gnomes at knee height onto garbage cans and pet doors, drinking Tall Boys and huffing Jenkem, prancing around naked except for high heels and assless chaps in their hobbit-hole of a gang hideout while towel snapping each other's posteriors in an effort to toughen themselves up, telling deeply embarrassing tall tales about how they used to be the biggest kid in preschool, injecting themselves with stolen bovine somatotropin in a futile and injudicious bid at escaping their inevitable fate of becoming a prison wife manlet once caught by the law and incarcerated and frantically praying in front of the countless Randy Newman posters adorning the walls of the manlet pit in their hobbit-hole gang hideout while repetitively reciting the lyrics of their favorite song Short People due to their shared obsession with the delusional hope of being blessed with an adult-onset growth spurt by their beloved God and hero Saint Newman.
Jessica: Lol, why are there a bunch of garden gnomes standing on the corner over there? Olivia: It's just a Short People manlet gang. Here, take my magnifying glass and have a closer look. Can you see that they got little hands, little eyes, that they walk around tellin' great big lies? They got little noses and tiny little teeth. Unsurprisingly they wear platform shoes on their nasty, little feet. Jessica: Oh yeah, they got little baby legs and they stand so low - I'd have to pick one of them up just to say hello! Olivia: Well, I don't want no short people 'round here. Jessica: Short people got no reason.
Short People manlet gang by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024
Todd Howard's high heels
Apart from telling tall tales about video games and giving standing blowjobs to ZeniMax executives and true to the nature of the inherently effeminate and preposterously puny and petite stunted sissy manlet fairy that he obviously is, Little Napoleon Howard enjoys prancing about town wearing a variety of fabulous and fanciful high heels on his nasty, little feet, including but not limited to: thick-soled sneakers (undoubtedly containing insoles), boots with stacked heels, platform shoes (obviously), high heels (naturally), stilettos (only for his sugar daddy) and stilts (when grocery shopping all by himself like a big boy). A particularly infamous and hilarious photo beautifully showcasing Tiny Todd's ever-present, deep-seated and overpoweringly potent manletism-induced inferiority complex, taken at the 2015 Fallout 4 video game launch event in Los Angeles, features the illustrious Kaley Cuoco and Tiny Todd "Tippy Toes" Howard amongst others. Shamefully grinning while standing on his tip toes (for shame!) like the literal subhuman that he is and while being towered over by absolutely every man, woman and child in the vicinity, Tiny Todd was most likely thinking about ending it all by hanging himself from a table lamp with a string of dental floss upon returning in defeat to his hobbit-hole that night.
Manmore 1: Hey, why are there a bunch of doll shoes lying in the street over there? Manmore 2: Those are Todd Howard's high heels. The dwarfed Oompa Loompa was crossing the street with an armful of high heels when a gust of wind just blew him away. Manmore 1: Manlets BTFO. Manmore 2: Hahahahaha!
Todd Howard's high heels by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024