95 definitions by MagickDio

1) The fierce, unspoken competition between men to each prove themselves to be the alpha male of the group.

2) A competition between friends to see how quickly they can get someone in bed.
Greg and John are neck and neck in their sack race, as Greg has bagged himself identical twin girlfriends, equalling John's threesome with 2 glamour models.
by MagickDio August 28, 2010
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1) To have the fact that you are worthy of notice totally eclipsed by a drunken, marauding family member who everyone seems to love, despite the fact that they're a sure candidate for the fires of hell. Comes from the glaringly obvious fact that Charlie Sheen gets way more publicity for being a cock than Emilio Estevez (his well behaved, better acting brother) gets for being a decent bloke!

2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.

3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
1) I'm sick of being Estevezed by my crack dealing older sister.

2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!

3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
by MagickDio March 17, 2011
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Testicles come in few shapes, more sizes and even more levels of maintenance and cleanliness. Balls have been arranged into categories by people who care about what they put in their mouths. They are defined as follows

Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.

Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.

Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.

Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.

Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
Oh no, I won't be sleeping with Jeff again. He was lurking in ball category 4!
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
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1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.

2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."

2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"

"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"

"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
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The process by which a normal situation is made into a more homosexual one.

A bloke who meets his guy mates down the pub to watch football and get rowdy but ends up getting them to talk about feelings and give advice has successfully managed to gay the evening right up.

A girl who meets her girlie mates down the pub to talk about feelings and give advice but ends up getting them to watch football and get rowdy has just managed to gay the evening right the fuck up.
guy- "We're not going to the Red Lion, that's Rory's local. Last time we went in there, he had us giving him advice on jeans, remember? This is gonna be a good night, as long as we don't let anyone gay it up"

girl- "Is Julie coming? I don't want another evening gayed up because she wants to watch fuckin'shit utd play"
by MagickDio May 13, 2010
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A striped, many legged demon that usually resides in a Christmas tree and judges all who pass it by. Capable of delivering a harsh mind blow to those who do not believe in it. Your safety depends on respect for the Fnorg.
"Don't walk past that tree unless you want the Fnorg to twat your thoughts"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
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The sudden and alarming hissy fit that grown men have when confronted with information that they don't like, or when asked to do something that they don't want to do. Asking for some attention to be paid to you instead of a games console, for instance, will almost always result in a man strop. Likewise, the dreadful crime of informing him that he has behaved like a twat will be punishable by a full on man strop.
"I sked him to stop playing that thing for 5 minutes and listen to me, and he threw the controller down and stormed around in a total man strop"

"Grow up, you fucking baby, stop throwing such a man strop!"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
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