Fnards

In the singular, this is a term more commonly slurred by drunken idiots- ie "You, eh? Eh!! You don'even wannave a go at Mick, you'll get your'ed ripped off, right?? Eh!! He's fnard! Harder n you!!" In this instance, the words "fucking" and "hard" have been run together.

In the plural, the term is used to describe the chubby, thigh chafed bollocks of those men who can't find high street trousers that do up around their sagging beer gut. Fat nards. Fnards.
Geoff flopped gratefully down on the nudist beach; ignoring the horrified stares of the beautiful people he opened his legs and aired his fnards.
by MagickDio September 03, 2010
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Convenient Lesbian

1) Girls who indulge in girl on girl action when surrounded by girls only. Despite being hetero, they get their jollies the gay way, rather than have no action at all. Common in students at all girls boarding schools.

2) A girl who announces she's gay when being chatted up by a bloke she finds repellent.

3) The heterosexual emo females, who believe that gayness=coolness and therefore have all been gay/are currently gay/will be gay very soon but will embrace their genuine sexuality when that is in fashion.
1) I first had sex when I was seventeen, if you don't count the two years in which I attended Roedean and was a convenient lesbian.

2) Phil decided to go home after being shot down by the fifth convenient lesbian of the night.

3) Those emo girls aren't actually gay, you know. They're just convenient lesbians. Next week they'll be into pre-op transexuals to coincide with the latest reality tv show.
by MagickDio November 07, 2012
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Beer Bollocks

1) The total shit someone talks when they're drunk

2) The sudden surge of bravery one experiences when totally lashed
Well, look who's gone and got himself a pair of beer bollocks! Seb, they'll kill us both. Let's go and get a kebab
by MagickDio July 11, 2010
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Smash It

1) "Go out and smash it"- A line from a Black Eyed Peas song, which implies that they're going to go out of an evening and have a very good time.

2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.

3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
1) "Wanna 'go out and smash it? Like, oh my God?"

2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"

3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
by MagickDio March 25, 2010
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Gun Face

A lot of scary looking people have what is known as "Gun Face." It's when you feel confident in saying that a person owns a gun and has brandished it or has a gun on their person purely from the appearance of their face. Their expression is unsettling- a mix of insanity,glee and contemplation, as if they're wondering if they've got enough old carpet left to roll their next victim up in.

Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
I don't want to go to the post office. The guy behind the counter has Gun Face, and is probably going to snap any day now!
by MagickDio January 09, 2011
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Dick Enemy

A guy who always tries to get the same girls as you, and often manages. Your sexual histories contain a lot of the same names, and you hate and fear one another, yet oddly respect your equal potential for ho wrangling. If you ever encounter one another at a urinal, you will both sneakily try to glimpse each other's equipment, to assess the enemy's capabilities. You will never again talk to female friends who bed your rival.

You should never engage in a threesome with your dick enemy, no matter how hot the girl is, as you would likely half kill her through your mutual need to prove yourself the best, and then end up almost killing one another in a fight.
You can't shag Lewis, he's Rosco's dick enemy- he'll never talk to you again
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
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Turnt Round

What idiots say when relaying a conversation they had. No matter who they were speaking to or where they where at the time, you will always find that they and the other conversational counterpart managed to turn around constantly. The idiot will claim that they "turnt round" to deliver a comment or action, and that the other person "turnt round" in order to respond, thus giving the impression that they spent the whole time twirling about.
"So, what happened?"

"Well, he turnt round and said that it couldn't be his cos he pulled out, so I turnt round and told him that he was a knob. I thought he was gonna shut up til he turnt round and called me a slag. So I turnt round and slapped him one and he turnt round looking well embarrassed!"
by MagickDio March 11, 2010
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