Wrands

When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"
"Sarah's mum has got raging wrands! Did you notice?"
"Yeah, I shuddered when she touched me"
by MagickDio March 07, 2010
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Fuckjobbing

1) Putting a large amount of effort into doing something badly. More often than not, unintentionally. People that are doing the fuck jobs rarely see their utter abortions as anything except works of art.

2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.
1) The men watched, transfixed. Even after their handy hints, Sheila continued fuckjobbing the Creosote and gazing appreciatively at the terrible mess.

2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.
by MagickDio July 06, 2011
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Salty Warning

What precum should be called. When giving a blowjob, and not wishing to swallow the jizz, take the slight increase in pre- ejaculate to be a salty warning. Not only does it stop you from coming across like a terrified amatuer, it also means the guy is less likely to hold your head and foil your escape.
"Did you spit after sucking off Craig? Cos jizz tastes like the sea, it's awful"

"Didn't need to. I just paid attention to the salty warning and let him spunk on my face"
by MagickDio March 07, 2010
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Tissue Test

1) The process by which women rate "weepy" films. The more it makes them cry, be it through sadness, relief, happiness or just because someone had a cute face, the higher the film will rank.

2) The process by which men rate pornographic films. The more it makes them ejaculate, be it through domination, bondage, bukkake or just because someone had a cute ass, the higher the film will rank.
1) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Marley and Me, it's like a five on the tissue test!"

2) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Lesbian Fuckwhores, it's like a five on the tissue test!"
by MagickDio July 17, 2011
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Man Tidy

A state of order and cleanliness that is barely passable. If your teeth have been brushed for approximately 15 seconds, the front part of your hair has been messily styled, and your shirt has been dragged out of the washing basket and febrezed, consider yourself "man tidy." If your living room has floor debris and unidentifiable matter pushed under the sofa, empty lager cans lined up on the coffee table and a light layer of dust covering every surface, consider it "man tidy." If you're a woman and you keep your affairs in such disorder, then grow some ovaries and pick up a duster.

There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
"Hold on, let me just run in and do a quick spot check. Greg was off work today, so I left him in charge of the housework. It'll probably be man tidy in here"
by MagickDio May 19, 2010
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Wank Buddy

Someone you meet up with online and masturbate with on cam. There are two likely outcomes to this situation- you either eventually get over each other, or eventually get under each other. It depends on how excellent and sexy the wank buddy is as to which you will allow to happen.

A classic mistake is performed by the "one sided" wank buddy- ie, only one person puts on their cam and relies on the snazzy wording of the other person to get them off. When they eventually see the other person, they usually turn out to be a middle aged fat man eating a bag of doritos with the same hand he's wanking with. This leads to suicidal moments and feelings of being deeply unclean. TAKE NOTE- Screen your prospective wank buddy before you take off your pants and get stuck in.
"No, I don't want to watch Glee with you, I've got plans with my wank buddy"

"Thank God I've got a wank buddy, or I'd just cry myself into a sexless and frustrated sleep"
by MagickDio March 04, 2010
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gAy Team

What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.
"The A team is composed entirely of gay circus freaks. It's the gAy Team"

"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
by MagickDio February 26, 2010
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