the clever, muscular contractions of the vagina that a woman who is an awesome fuck can effect. A squeezing, rippling sensation is felt on the penis, usually resulting in gasping and moaning from the lucky gent, and sometimes, uncontrollable jizzing and mumbled apologies.
by MagickDio February 04, 2010
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
There comes a point in an argument where your opponent runs out of logical material to use against you, yet refuses to conceed. This is the moment you enter Crazy Time. Men will recognise it as the part where women start yelling, through furious tears, about things that happened years previously, and putting a whole new spin on them, then telling the man exactly what he meant by what he said. Except it's rarely anything anyone would ever mean, or even think. Women will know it's Crazy Time when men start saying things like "I'm ending this argument right now!" and then continue bellowing about how it cannot be allowed to go on, and arguing over why it needs to be finished. Men can never finish an argument. They can only halt it "for now". The very same argument will be referenced and recommenced during the next period of Crazy Time.
Jennifer started to cry and shout at the same time, virtually incomprehensible wails about how last year, Doug HAD given her a funny look when she said hello to her ex, and that he had basically called her a whore when he commented on how nice it was that they were on speaking terms after all these years. It wasn't what he said, you understand, it was what he MEANT that made all the difference, and THAT is how Doug knew that they were in Crazy Time, yet again.
by MagickDio September 14, 2010
1) "Weird cushion"
"Yeah, that's my Mum's excat"
2) "and it was at that excat momnet that I knew I wandte to fcuk you"
"Yeah, that's my Mum's excat"
2) "and it was at that excat momnet that I knew I wandte to fcuk you"
by MagickDio August 19, 2010
When someone brings up an old grievance that was dead and buried and attempts to revive it to suit their purpose. For example, say a woman named Katie dislikes the fact that one of her friends has bought something Katie wanted for herself. Instead of simply stating annoyance just about that, she also starts referencing a time when they were in school twenty years ago and her friend had kissed a boy that Katie had liked herself. That's a dusty grudge.
Similarly, when someone gets personally annoyed about something which happened many years before they were even born and starts flapping gums about it and getting all irate; that too is a dusty grudge. For example, a black friend on a night out does not take too kindly to the request from his white friends that he to go to the bar. Rather than tell them to go themselves, he then journeys a bit too far off the freaking scale and starts huffing and puffing about slavery and opression of black people in the 1700's. Extremely dusty gruge.
Similarly, when someone gets personally annoyed about something which happened many years before they were even born and starts flapping gums about it and getting all irate; that too is a dusty grudge. For example, a black friend on a night out does not take too kindly to the request from his white friends that he to go to the bar. Rather than tell them to go themselves, he then journeys a bit too far off the freaking scale and starts huffing and puffing about slavery and opression of black people in the 1700's. Extremely dusty gruge.
woman- "No, Trina and Tash are fighting, so we can't invite them to the party."
man-"Still? What is the problem now?!"
woman-"Well, first it was because Trina asked Joey's dad out to the single parent's coffee morning and Tash had been saying she like him, but now it's about Trina deliberately wearing the same colour dress but much shorter than Tash's to her brother's bbq in 1995."
man-"Fuck me, that's a dusty grudge if ever I heard one!!"
Fred- "Are you getting your ticket now, Blake?"
Blake "Yeah, why?"
Fred- "Could you grab mine too, please? Here's the money, I just want to use the toilets first."
Dave- "Yeah, me too, if that's ok, Blake?"
Blake- "You know what? Fuck this!! I didn't come out to be the token fucking slave!! Yeah, SLAVE. I said it. People like you are why the slave trade kept going for so damn long!! I don't have to do things for you just because I'm black!! What is it like ingrained in you white folk that we're you're servants?! Well, no more!!! NO more."
Dave- "Jesus, Blake. Were you a part of the fucking slave trade?! Massive overreaction there, mate!"
Fred-"Yeah, I second that. All you had to say was "No." That's a seriously dusty grudge you've got there."
man-"Still? What is the problem now?!"
woman-"Well, first it was because Trina asked Joey's dad out to the single parent's coffee morning and Tash had been saying she like him, but now it's about Trina deliberately wearing the same colour dress but much shorter than Tash's to her brother's bbq in 1995."
man-"Fuck me, that's a dusty grudge if ever I heard one!!"
Fred- "Are you getting your ticket now, Blake?"
Blake "Yeah, why?"
Fred- "Could you grab mine too, please? Here's the money, I just want to use the toilets first."
Dave- "Yeah, me too, if that's ok, Blake?"
Blake- "You know what? Fuck this!! I didn't come out to be the token fucking slave!! Yeah, SLAVE. I said it. People like you are why the slave trade kept going for so damn long!! I don't have to do things for you just because I'm black!! What is it like ingrained in you white folk that we're you're servants?! Well, no more!!! NO more."
Dave- "Jesus, Blake. Were you a part of the fucking slave trade?! Massive overreaction there, mate!"
Fred-"Yeah, I second that. All you had to say was "No." That's a seriously dusty grudge you've got there."
by MagickDio May 02, 2012
Like Secret Santa in that one person delivers something to another, and the recipient was unaware that it was heading their way. Except that the delivery is not a Christmas gift, it's an epic bollocking.
1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.
2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.
2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
"One of them is going to go all Secret Sergeant about me running off to vegas and getting married....I need to know which one it is"
"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
by MagickDio February 17, 2010
Cum that was expelled through masturbation, ie- "Jacking", and has not been cleaned up, allowing it to go shiny and slightly crisp, like cake frosting.
Typically found in teenagers bedrooms, although fully grown men that have wank addictions have been known to jack frost their carpet on a regular basis.
Typically found in teenagers bedrooms, although fully grown men that have wank addictions have been known to jack frost their carpet on a regular basis.
Danielle thought she had hit the jackpot with Steven. He was kind, considerate, and seemed to be very house proud. She relaxed happily on the sofa, thinking about how great her relationship was- until she noticed the Jack Frosting on one of the cushions.
by MagickDio April 23, 2010