A mistake made which results in something potentially dying. It's a pretty gosh darned awful mistake if that something turns out to be you. There are two deadly mistakes which are incredibly common;
1) A woman, in the midst of her mental cycle is being somewhat emotionally unstable, and a man utters these words....."what's your problem?!" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! The obvious answer to the question will be that HE is the problem, and if he escapes with his life, all happiness will most certainly be killed for him for the next 3-5 days.
2) When getting down to some serious foreplay, the woman turns to the man and utters these words..."do I look fat?" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! There is no "safe" way for a man to answer that question! If he looks, he's judging- if he doesn't look, he's not taking the question seriously- if he says yes, she cries- if he says no, she says he's lying.... Apart from that question being the one that probably makes men want to strangle women, asking it will kill desire stone cold fucking dead. Not to mention that a "yes" response might result in someone finding the guy the next morning with his head torn off.
1) A woman, in the midst of her mental cycle is being somewhat emotionally unstable, and a man utters these words....."what's your problem?!" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! The obvious answer to the question will be that HE is the problem, and if he escapes with his life, all happiness will most certainly be killed for him for the next 3-5 days.
2) When getting down to some serious foreplay, the woman turns to the man and utters these words..."do I look fat?" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! There is no "safe" way for a man to answer that question! If he looks, he's judging- if he doesn't look, he's not taking the question seriously- if he says yes, she cries- if he says no, she says he's lying.... Apart from that question being the one that probably makes men want to strangle women, asking it will kill desire stone cold fucking dead. Not to mention that a "yes" response might result in someone finding the guy the next morning with his head torn off.
"She was just nagging and whining and bitching, so I asked her what her problem was!"
"Ahh, that explains the bruises. Deadly mistake, mate."
"She asked me if she looked fat, right when I was about to take her from behind!"
"Gaaah! Deadly mistake! I bet that killed it!"
"Too fucking right, I was too stressed even to wank, and she just led there muttering and texting about what a cold hearted tosser I am"
"Ahh, that explains the bruises. Deadly mistake, mate."
"She asked me if she looked fat, right when I was about to take her from behind!"
"Gaaah! Deadly mistake! I bet that killed it!"
"Too fucking right, I was too stressed even to wank, and she just led there muttering and texting about what a cold hearted tosser I am"
by MagickDio April 01, 2010
People that try to make christianity "cool" often refer to Jesus Christ as "J.C". It's an attempt to suck in as many kids and sinners as possible, owing to the fact that chavs and skanks have been naming their kids with just initials for the last 20 years. There is a handful of C.J's, A.J's, D.J's, J.D's and M.J's in every community. The J seems to be the key letter here. And claiming that they're on a "team" makes the possibility of hooliganism seem way more likely. Obviously, the idea is that the idiots will all flock to those on "Team J.C" thinking that they will be having an excellent time with a cool person if they join them.
What they do get is as much religious tea as they can drink, a few dry biscuits, people with soft and weak voices telling them that God loves them all and possible molestation and inappropriate behaviour from the Vicar and/or Choir Master.
They tend to recruit in non confrontational ways, like going up to some kids in town and asking them if they're having a good day, or on their way to a party before they give them a leaflet.
Those in charge of "Team J.C" can often be heard saying things like, "You know what, gang? It's prayer time! Come on, let's give it up for the Lord!" or even "Paper chains ARE cool, now let's attach them to this easter bonnet before the flour and water paste dries"
Really, the J.C should stand for "Just Crazy"
What they do get is as much religious tea as they can drink, a few dry biscuits, people with soft and weak voices telling them that God loves them all and possible molestation and inappropriate behaviour from the Vicar and/or Choir Master.
They tend to recruit in non confrontational ways, like going up to some kids in town and asking them if they're having a good day, or on their way to a party before they give them a leaflet.
Those in charge of "Team J.C" can often be heard saying things like, "You know what, gang? It's prayer time! Come on, let's give it up for the Lord!" or even "Paper chains ARE cool, now let's attach them to this easter bonnet before the flour and water paste dries"
Really, the J.C should stand for "Just Crazy"
"Oh Lordy, it's Team J.C, dead ahead"
"How do you know they're on the team?"
"Check it out, they've got bumbags stuffed full of leaflets and Evanessence T shirts on! Plus, look at those crazy, vacant smiles.......they're on the team! Quickly, kids, run to the car!"
"How do you know they're on the team?"
"Check it out, they've got bumbags stuffed full of leaflets and Evanessence T shirts on! Plus, look at those crazy, vacant smiles.......they're on the team! Quickly, kids, run to the car!"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
1) the jacking of a very small penis. To wank a winkle is to perform a wankle
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
1) "Mum, Sam's locked himself in the bathroom again!"
"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"
~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"
2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"
"Jesus, what a wankle"
"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"
~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"
2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"
"Jesus, what a wankle"
by MagickDio February 04, 2010
1) To give someone the hard eye is to look at them with disapproval/disdain/dislike. You give someone the hard eye when you don't know them- you just know you don't like them. Like when someone won't stop swearing when you've got small children with you. That merits a serving of hard eye.
2) To appraise something critically. One assumes that aspiring models are given the hard eye when they apply to an agency. It's when you look for things to dislike rather than things to like.
2) To appraise something critically. One assumes that aspiring models are given the hard eye when they apply to an agency. It's when you look for things to dislike rather than things to like.
1) The mouthy teens on the bus continued to talk at deafening volume and play offensive rap music on their mobile phones, despite being given the hard eye by 90% of the passengers.
2) After giving Vanessa the hard eye as she walked to the loo, Doug decided he wouldn't be taking "her" home after all.
2) After giving Vanessa the hard eye as she walked to the loo, Doug decided he wouldn't be taking "her" home after all.
by MagickDio January 08, 2011
When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"
by MagickDio March 07, 2010
An orgasm which is given out of an uncomfortable sense of duty; much like parting with small change when confronted with a bucket shaking Salvation Army worker. You don't want to give it, but you'll be made to feel a total shit if you don't.
Here is a typical example of a circumstance that requires such a donation. Your partner has been moaning all the livelong day about their appearance. Words like "obese", "disgusting", "hideous" and "gross" have been used so often and so emphatically that, despite yourself, you genuinely begin to agree. Then the obligatory "You're so gorgeous, I can't keep my hands off you" sex that was meant to assure them they're hot has become an act of charity, with you performing deeds that you would rather not share with someone who has half convinced you they're a troll.
Here is a typical example of a circumstance that requires such a donation. Your partner has been moaning all the livelong day about their appearance. Words like "obese", "disgusting", "hideous" and "gross" have been used so often and so emphatically that, despite yourself, you genuinely begin to agree. Then the obligatory "You're so gorgeous, I can't keep my hands off you" sex that was meant to assure them they're hot has become an act of charity, with you performing deeds that you would rather not share with someone who has half convinced you they're a troll.
He closed his eyes and thought of Beyoncé whilst making his charity orgasm donation to his long term "fat", "rancid" and "skanky" girlfriend.
by MagickDio October 13, 2010
When you finally succeed in meeting that one person that you've fantasized about, finding out that they're pretty awesome and then getting naked and naughty with them........that, my friend, is a total fuckcess! Take a mental photo album of the occasion, and browse at leisure- this one is gonna make you smile for a long time yet.
by MagickDio April 03, 2010