1) Putting a large amount of effort into doing something badly. More often than not, unintentionally. People that are doing the fuck jobs rarely see their utter abortions as anything except works of art.
2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.
2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.
1) The men watched, transfixed. Even after their handy hints, Sheila continued fuckjobbing the Creosote and gazing appreciatively at the terrible mess.
2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.
2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.
by MagickDio July 04, 2011
Twatman is the drunken guy you seriously need to avoid. He's the one who thinks he's a superhero. He will feel up and slobber over every female within grabbing distance, churning out such winning lines as "You're beautiful, you are. HEY! Did you know that, I said you're beautiful? Cos you are." and "Love, do you wanna come back to my flat and let me fuck you?". These lines are usually delivered whilst Twatman has his face pressed into an unfortunate woman's neck, breathing hotly and rasping his words in a sex killer's voice. Outside, with his mates, Twatman will give them appalling representation by yelling slurred insults at men that were innocently passing by, and inciting a gang style hatred between the two groups, when really, they could have just gone home. Twatman will fight like a retard following a laser pen, will lose and will cry on his knees, bellowing the name of his current or former girlfriend. He will then walk through traffic, dismissing the vehicles as a threat to him and will search out a kebab van. After purchasing the greasy nastiness, he'll wolf it down and puke. He'll tell his mates that he loves them, then get rowdy about it. He'll end his night drenched in sick and gutter filth, plus his own piss, and will be most definitely NOT having sex. He will have ruined everyone's night. These are the powers of Twatman. Bravo.
"Keith turns into Twatman when we go out drinking, lets not invite him, EVER"
"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
Like a fuck buddy except this person isn't your buddy in any way shape or form. You have nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust for each other as people. Yet you call them or receive a text from them every time you're lonely or they're horny and you get it on. There will be no talking, except to trade insults. You will have no need to discuss "keeping this a secret" as you're both too ashamed to reveal this to anyone.
Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
"Dear Diary,
I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."
"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."
"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
by MagickDio February 18, 2010
1) The fierce, unspoken competition between men to each prove themselves to be the alpha male of the group.
2) A competition between friends to see how quickly they can get someone in bed.
2) A competition between friends to see how quickly they can get someone in bed.
Greg and John are neck and neck in their sack race, as Greg has bagged himself identical twin girlfriends, equalling John's threesome with 2 glamour models.
by MagickDio August 28, 2010
1) To have the fact that you are worthy of notice totally eclipsed by a drunken, marauding family member who everyone seems to love, despite the fact that they're a sure candidate for the fires of hell. Comes from the glaringly obvious fact that Charlie Sheen gets way more publicity for being a cock than Emilio Estevez (his well behaved, better acting brother) gets for being a decent bloke!
2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.
3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.
3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
1) I'm sick of being Estevezed by my crack dealing older sister.
2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!
3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!
3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
by MagickDio March 17, 2011
Testicles come in few shapes, more sizes and even more levels of maintenance and cleanliness. Balls have been arranged into categories by people who care about what they put in their mouths. They are defined as follows
Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.
Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.
Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.
Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.
Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
Category 1- The creme de la creme of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized.
Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4.
Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro.
Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods.
Category 5- Alien nards. Something weird or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
To verbally bash a person you hate, to their face. Comes from merging the words "Loathe" and "Roasting" together. Whilst anyone can "roast" a celebrity or even a friend behind their backs, only someone who truly hates you can give you a loasting and still somehow come out looking like the good guy. A loasting does not merely take you down a peg or two. It is as if someone has taken away your shield and pissed in your face. In public. And everyone will believe, due to the righteous anger with which the loasting is delivered, that you deserve it.
We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.
We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.
Lesha vowed never ever to go to Tesco in the village ever again, for fear of the loasting she would inevitably receive, should she cross paths with Dee.
by MagickDio October 27, 2011