Knobsessed

A complete knob jockeying slut, be they male or female. So obsessed with penises, that they don't even notice the guy attached to it. Every workplace, town and secondary school has one of these "knobsessed" individuals. Teenagers and middle aged guys often fall victim to the knobsessed. You can recognise them by their trousers (which are too tight) and their hair (which is too bleached/dyed/straightened/backcombed) and by their voice (which is too loud).
Ed- "Look at Tracey chatting up Darren"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"

"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"
by MagickDio February 08, 2010
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Bang Drunk

Descriptive term for the first part of a sexual relationship.

Bang drunkeness is easily to spot. You don't care about anything but the crotch of your "love" and you will cancel plans, stand up friends, miss work, birthday parties, meals and social interaction with other human beings. You spend your time balls deep. And you don't give a toss about anything except banging the hell out of your "love"

You tend to sober up when they start talking about other things and telling you their useless opinions.
"Where's Geoff?? We rescheduled this on his say so and he's not here!"

"With Rose I bet. The guy is totally bang drunk"
by MagickDio September 28, 2011
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Headline Grabber

A headline grabber is a person who is a HUGE attention seeker. If they are in some kind of trouble, ill, had an argument, or are bored, you'll know about it. And so will everyone else. People that can be legitimately titled "Headline Grabber" are;
1) Those that cut themselves and make sure everyone sees the wounds as they stare melodramatically into the distance
2)Those that think they "might be pregnant" all the time
3) Anyone who goes out wearing PVC trousers or a string vest
4)People who have got "such a headache" every time you speak to them, and the "stupid doctors" can't work it out
5)People who "just can't talk about it- no, don't make me! I can't tell you, it's too horrible"
6) Girls that tell their male friends that their boyfriend is a bastard, and then get them to start on him- only to declare undying love for him a few moments after the drama has subsided
"Ignore Shaz in her stupid PVC trousers and string vest. She thinks she's pregnant again. Fucking headline grabber"

"Look at those emo kids with their trendy arm slashes. Headline grabbers; let's hiss at them!"
by MagickDio March 15, 2010
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Spandle

Verb- When someone manhandles your possessions in a spasticated manner, causing them to cease functioning correctly or wrecking them altogther.

For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.
You're not touching it, you spandle everything.
by MagickDio June 21, 2011
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McEnrage

A serious outburst of unexpected and completely over the top rage. This style of hissy fit was made famous by former No. 1 ranking professional tennis player, John McEnroe, hence the name. To qualify as an episode of McEnrage, it has to happen in public, with witnesses. (That is not to say that Mr McEnroe did not throw his toys out of the pram in private, simply that we do not know if this is the case.) McEnrage can be a classic, all out, red in the face, foaming at the mouth screech fest, or it can be a much less dramatic thing, but with the inclusion of the phrase, "You cannot be SERIOUS!!"
"Why is Jez outside, chain smoking and pacing?"
"Oh my God, you totally missed it! Dude, it was insane. We got to the window and the woman said they were sold out. Instead of getting tickets to the next showing like the rest of us, he just flipped! Started screaming "You cannot be SERIOUS!!" and smacking his hands against that plastic window, swearing and demanding that he be found a seat immediately. That's his spit they're cleaning off the window now!"
"Jesus, proper McEnrage then!"
"Yeah. Fucking Jez, I don't reckon we'll ever be allowed back here now."
by MagickDio May 04, 2012
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Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
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Oven Eye

Oven Eye occurs when a female wearing mascara opens an oven door and bends to peer in instantly, before allowing the steam to escape. The resulting rush of moist heat to the face causes the mascara to react and seriously clump the eyelashes together, making it appear that each eye has a few short, black horns per eyelid, instead of curling, dark lashes.
"Bollocks! I'm going to have to go and do my makeup again, I've got oven eye!"

"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
by MagickDio February 06, 2010
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