LiberaceHudson's definitions

Titus Aduxass

A Roman emperor who remained a gay virgin throughout his life.

Titus Aduxass ripped out a very loud sounding fart while hanging with his homo homies at the Pantheon. One by one they each looked around before shouting out en masse "Virgin."

by LiberaceHudson September 24, 2017

The Poofter

Very much like The Pooter, the handheld device which realistically simulates the sound of a loud rasping fart, The Poofter offers up a more discreet sounding farting noise very much like a hiss or someone trying to slip out a fart unnoticed. It's used exclusively by prankster members of the male gay community. It's a veritable hit at soirées.

Julian is employing The Poofter again to great effect. He's also slipped one out without anyone hearing (due to getting roughly buttfucked that afternoon) so those around him can appreciate both the realistic sound of a gay man farting and the smell. The lesbians love it.

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017

blueberry buttcheeks

Blueberry buttcheeks are when your bottom is spanked so hard and for so long that they no longer resemble rosy cheeks but instead look more like a blueberry tart. The spankee is usually in floods of tears at this point.

Uncle Richard threw me over his knee and gave my ass a damn good thrashing because he felt I was being impertinent. The fact I'm 39 and a headmistress and his penis erect throughout notwithstanding, I felt it wrong that he should leave me with blueberry buttcheeks for a simple misunderstanding. I came home and applied some antiseptic cream and slowly my ass is feeling like its old self - heavily sagging and puckered from all the ass fucking my husband seems to enjoy.

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017

sand britches

A term for old-fashioned trousers that are worn at seaside resorts favoured by the more mature generation.

"Did you see that Wendy had moved down to Eastbourne to be near her ailing sister?"
"Yes, I heard about that. Mind you, she's not getting any younger herself. What's she going to do with herself when there?"
"There are a number of very nice beaches down there. I'm sure she'll put on her best sand britches and get into a bit of crabbing or something similar."
"Oh that sounds nice. I haven't experienced any crab action for donkey's years. She'll have fun down there."

by LiberaceHudson September 3, 2017

prostatitis

A large swollen and painful prostate.

"I heard Jimmy's got a bad case of prostatitis."
"Yeah. That's what you get for edging for weeks and weeks to Hentai porn."
"Serves him right. I hope it explodes out of his ass."

by LiberaceHudson September 24, 2017

Kazoo

A kazoo is a small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and adds a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

Kenny had to admit that he was musically talentless. Even the Autoharp was beyond his limited capabilities. He knew then he had to persevere with the kazoo because it was his last chance to impress the ladies and perhaps lose his virginity before his 52nd birthday.

by LiberaceHudson September 24, 2017

Code 8

Code 8 is the term given on a tannoy system to alert the store manager and assistant manager (if he's on duty) to the presence of a very hot woman in the store. Not to be confused with a Code 19 (otherwise known as Dragonwatch) which is an ugly woman. As you can imagine, Code 19's supersede Code 8's by a significant amount.

Debbie walked into the store. Her ass was magnificent and looked great in her denim cut-off shorts. her tits were heavenly and she moved like she'd just been on the receiving end of an almighty walloping. In fact, maybe the walloping to end all wallopings. She was sex on a stick and the employees knew it. Shireen the sweaty fat bird hated her. Harry quickly dialled up a Code 8 on the tannoy phone and in a matter of seconds Robert the store manager was pretending to adjust the shelves in the aisle Debbie was standing in. Ever the professional he asked if there was anything he could assist her with. Debbie said that she was fine but thanked him all the same. She made no mention of the soldier standing to attention in his pants.

by LiberaceHudson September 24, 2017