LiberaceHudson's definitions

Queef

An explosive sound emanating from the female front bottom similar to flatus but without the rancid smell.

Barry grew up in a very open household, his parents regularly walking about naked in front of him. One day he was talking with his friend Emily on the telephone when his mother walked past him without a stitch on. Without warning, she let out a very aggressive sounding queef which shook him to the core. It was not unlike the sound that is made when a rubber bath mat is pulled forcibly up from the inside of a bathtub. Barry suddenly felt quite nauseous and dry-heaved. Emily asked what was wrong. Barry couldn't say. Barry's mother was by now in the next room banging Barry's dad who was none the wiser.

by LiberaceHudson September 22, 2017

The Poofter

Very much like The Pooter, the handheld device which realistically simulates the sound of a loud rasping fart, The Poofter offers up a more discreet sounding farting noise very much like a hiss or someone trying to slip out a fart unnoticed. It's used exclusively by prankster members of the male gay community. It's a veritable hit at soirées.

Julian is employing The Poofter again to great effect. He's also slipped one out without anyone hearing (due to getting roughly buttfucked that afternoon) so those around him can appreciate both the realistic sound of a gay man farting and the smell. The lesbians love it.

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017

blueberry buttcheeks

Blueberry buttcheeks are when your bottom is spanked so hard and for so long that they no longer resemble rosy cheeks but instead look more like a blueberry tart. The spankee is usually in floods of tears at this point.

Uncle Richard threw me over his knee and gave my ass a damn good thrashing because he felt I was being impertinent. The fact I'm 39 and a headmistress and his penis erect throughout notwithstanding, I felt it wrong that he should leave me with blueberry buttcheeks for a simple misunderstanding. I came home and applied some antiseptic cream and slowly my ass is feeling like its old self - heavily sagging and puckered from all the ass fucking my husband seems to enjoy.

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017

wank tunnel

The term given to the tight grip chronic wankers (fappers) utilise to get them off after hours and hours of edging to pornography, usually of the bizarre kind such as granny porn, shit fetishes or rectal fisting.

Arnold hand to employ a wank tunnel in the end otherwise he would have been sitting there with his micro-dick pawing away at it for days with no release in sight.

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017

billmarr

An unfunny comedian, pumped up with their own self-importance who signposts gags well in advance.

Fucking hell, this guy is terrible. His jokes are corny, his presentation shocking and he's so full of himself it's unreal. He's a total billmarr.

by LiberaceHudson September 22, 2017

clitar solo

A clitar solo is performed by very overweight moley-featured lesbian musicians when naked and alone. It is usually accompanied by low groaning and a sploshing sound closely followed by a few loud rasping fanny farts and then snoring.

"Wow! Look at Nikki playing away at that clitar solo. Still it beats the verses which are all about cutting men's dicks off and throwing them in the river."

by LiberaceHudson October 6, 2017

doings

A term used in the Southern Counties of the UK to denote going somewhere or someplace. No one outside of those areas knows what the hell the other person is saying but to people who live there it makes perfect sense.

"Hello Uncle Philip, where are you off to today?"
"I've got to go down the doings later to see about getting some money back on the shoes I bought. They don't fit right."
"Good luck with that Uncle."
"Thanks. Tell your mother I'll pop in and see her next week after I've got back from the doings down your road."
"Will do."

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017