Blueberry buttcheeks are when your bottom is spanked so hard and for so long that they no longer resemble rosy cheeks but instead look more like a blueberry tart. The spankee is usually in floods of tears at this point.
Uncle Richard threw me over his knee and gave my ass a damn good thrashing because he felt I was being impertinent. The fact I'm 39 and a headmistress and his penis erect throughout notwithstanding, I felt it wrong that he should leave me with blueberry buttcheeks for a simple misunderstanding. I came home and applied some antiseptic cream and slowly my ass is feeling like its old self - heavily sagging and puckered from all the ass fucking my husband seems to enjoy.
The belief that Morgan Freeman is in actual fact the late and great guitarist, Jimi Hendrix.
"I don't care what you say, Morgan Freeman is actually Jimi Hendrix and it's all one big cover up."
"You're a fucking loony. No way is Morgan Hendrix. That's just crazy talk."
Lilley & Skinner was a British mid-market shoe brand, manufacturer, retailer and wholesale distributor of their own and others' boots and shoes and associated chain of high street shoe shops. It was also active in wholesale leather distribution.
I need to pop down to Lilley & Skinner later because I've got a bloody great hole in my shoe and need a cheap replacement and fast.
Euthanasia for the uneducated classes.
"Hello Mick, how are you?"
"Not sa good mate. My old mam only has to go to that Dignitarse place over in Switzerland."
"I didn't know you agreed with euphenasia mate."
"I don't but she's taking so bleeding long to die. We just want the money."
Never say this no matter how juicy the Williams or Conference pear is you're eating when you are in the presence of an amply bosomed female. She will likely not be happy and may slap you thinking you are taking the piss.
Don espied the delicious pear he was eating. The juice was running down his chin. Lisa sat down across from him however he was so engrossed in what he was thinking he did not see her. "Nice pear" he muttered approvingly. A movement awoke him from his reverie but he was not quick enough to move away in time. Lisa hit him full on in the face and called him a sexist pig before putting her tits away and rushing out of the room like she was on fire.
Eamonnsfat is the name of a very large pleasure cruiser usually docked on the South Bank of London. It is often seen floating near to Ruthsoffagain, a rather drab looking old steamer.
"Wow, look at Eamonnsfat. What a whopper of a boat."
"I know. If that boat was human it would be morbidly obese."
A term used in the Southern Counties of the UK to denote going somewhere or someplace. No one outside of those areas knows what the hell the other person is saying but to people who live there it makes perfect sense.
"Hello Uncle Philip, where are you off to today?"
"I've got to go down the doings later to see about getting some money back on the shoes I bought. They don't fit right."
"Good luck with that Uncle."
"Thanks. Tell your mother I'll pop in and see her next week after I've got back from the doings down your road."