A butter knife is a knife made from butter. As knives go it's pretty good as long as you keep it very cold.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
How to make a butter knife:
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
It has been known that rogue states but also companies and universities put restrictions to the Internet usage. These restrictions are so aggressive and perverse that the Internet experience of the end-user is completely compromised.
WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.
WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.
There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.
WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.
WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.
WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.
There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.
WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.
by kodiac1 July 09, 2006
Telephoto is commonly referred to telephoto lenses (or tele), for SLRs and some point and shoot cameras. Telephoto lenses on SLRs could range from the mild 100mm to strong 600mm, or even 800-1600mm, with a teleconverter. Tele lenses tend to be very large, depending on how fast they are and thier focal length. Canon's L-series "white lenses" seen at sporting events are commonly f/2.8 for 400mm, or f/4 for 600mm (there are tons of focal lengths and apertures in between). Common optical problems that plague most teles are vignetting, barrel distortion, Pincushion distortion, and chromatic aberration (also known as purple fringing). Most telephoto lenses, and all fast ones, are very expensive. There are cheap ones out there, like the Nikkor 70-300 f/4-5.6G (which you could easily get for about $170). But if you want a pro quality paparazzi/sports style lens like Canon's 600mm f/4L IS USM, you'll have to invest a little under $9000.
by Kodiac1 April 27, 2007
Jesus Christ Superstar was a 1972 musical co-written by Mel Gibson and Jesus Christ himself. Gibson wrote much of the music, while Christ wrote the script.
Gibson and Christ got the basic idea for the musical while on drink/drug binge in Tijuana, Mexico. While intoxicated on codeine, marijuana, cheap tequila, and crack cocaine, Contrary to popular belief, crack wasn't invented by the CIA in the 1980s to keep black people down. Gibson first synthasized it in 1967, then distributed it himself for the same purposes Gibson blurted that he wanted to make a musical about the life of the Christ. Gibson forgot his idea in the morning, as he passed out in a Tijuana jail, but Christ remembered. Gibson, at first, was opposed to his own idea, but upon learning of his approxomatley $20,000 debt to Mexican drug kingpins he quickly signed on to the project.
Gibson wrote all of the music for the play in less than three weeks. It took Christ more than two months to write lyrics, which began to frustrate Mel. When Gibson saw the plot, he thought of it as an overy pompous representation of hubris, and told Jesus that if He didn't change it, he would leave the project. He loved Christ, but not that much.
Gibson fufilled his promise, quitting the project. In a fit of rage, he drafted his hit movie The Passion of the Christ as an attack against his ex-partner. As opposed to the flattering play he and Jesus co-wrote, The Passion pretty much showed Christ getting His ass kicked up and down the block for two straight hours.
Jesus Christ Superstar was a huge critical success, but the general public was unable to appreciate the work. The failure of the play started a chain of events, Jesus spent the rest of his life in bitter desperation, struggling with substance abuse, an addiction to pornography, and backstabbing Jews trying to nail him to a 2x4.
It was really John Lennon's boisterous comments that did him in though, when the Romans came to get him, his heart just wasn't in it.
Gibson and Christ got the basic idea for the musical while on drink/drug binge in Tijuana, Mexico. While intoxicated on codeine, marijuana, cheap tequila, and crack cocaine, Contrary to popular belief, crack wasn't invented by the CIA in the 1980s to keep black people down. Gibson first synthasized it in 1967, then distributed it himself for the same purposes Gibson blurted that he wanted to make a musical about the life of the Christ. Gibson forgot his idea in the morning, as he passed out in a Tijuana jail, but Christ remembered. Gibson, at first, was opposed to his own idea, but upon learning of his approxomatley $20,000 debt to Mexican drug kingpins he quickly signed on to the project.
Gibson wrote all of the music for the play in less than three weeks. It took Christ more than two months to write lyrics, which began to frustrate Mel. When Gibson saw the plot, he thought of it as an overy pompous representation of hubris, and told Jesus that if He didn't change it, he would leave the project. He loved Christ, but not that much.
Gibson fufilled his promise, quitting the project. In a fit of rage, he drafted his hit movie The Passion of the Christ as an attack against his ex-partner. As opposed to the flattering play he and Jesus co-wrote, The Passion pretty much showed Christ getting His ass kicked up and down the block for two straight hours.
Jesus Christ Superstar was a huge critical success, but the general public was unable to appreciate the work. The failure of the play started a chain of events, Jesus spent the rest of his life in bitter desperation, struggling with substance abuse, an addiction to pornography, and backstabbing Jews trying to nail him to a 2x4.
It was really John Lennon's boisterous comments that did him in though, when the Romans came to get him, his heart just wasn't in it.
"This was the musical that made me want to go into writing plays. Oh, well, this and RENT, but still."
~ Oscar Wilde on Jesus Christ Superstar
~ Oscar Wilde on Jesus Christ Superstar
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Ramses II is most known as the pharaoh who built the space shuttle, however, recent discoveries have shown that he worked part time as the 43th president of the USA. Born in a deep cave in the desert, his life as a child was really boring because he had no one to talk to. At the age of 11 he developed superpowers and started building pyramids all over the place. This annoyed very much the inhabitants of the Nile region because he didn't have the required environmental permissions, and even more because he used up all the rocks and they had to build their houses from camel manure and dried lizards.
Making the Space Shuttle
Depressed by the lack of support by his own people, he decided to build an enormous rocket and go to the moon in search of happyness. He soon developed the space shuttle program. But then fell in love with a bearded woman, lost interest in the space program, and sold the rights to the shuttle to a small American company called NASA. He married the bearded woman, only to find that she was really a nigerian scammer called Bill Gates in disguise.
Finestrism
They founded a new religion, Finestrism, or the irrational belief that one can accomplish any task using windows. Their beginnings were very hard, as most of their followers didn't understand well the message and kept jumping through the window in hope of achieving enlightment, ethernal life or solitaire. But they eventually made a lot of money fixing clepsydras for the Year00 bug that had been discovered in windows95BC.
Ramses II died of the rabies in 1998 when he couldn't turn off the office helper. His body was mummified in the hope that the advances in medicine of the future will someday make him live again. His disconsolate widow low-level formatted his hard drive and installed XP.
Making the Space Shuttle
Depressed by the lack of support by his own people, he decided to build an enormous rocket and go to the moon in search of happyness. He soon developed the space shuttle program. But then fell in love with a bearded woman, lost interest in the space program, and sold the rights to the shuttle to a small American company called NASA. He married the bearded woman, only to find that she was really a nigerian scammer called Bill Gates in disguise.
Finestrism
They founded a new religion, Finestrism, or the irrational belief that one can accomplish any task using windows. Their beginnings were very hard, as most of their followers didn't understand well the message and kept jumping through the window in hope of achieving enlightment, ethernal life or solitaire. But they eventually made a lot of money fixing clepsydras for the Year00 bug that had been discovered in windows95BC.
Ramses II died of the rabies in 1998 when he couldn't turn off the office helper. His body was mummified in the hope that the advances in medicine of the future will someday make him live again. His disconsolate widow low-level formatted his hard drive and installed XP.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Mind reading is a way to explore the minds of anothers. You have a secret sexual fantasy? Whether it be those divine twins who work in the sandwich shop down the road, or dressing up as Nanamis Gouri and being licked by traffic wardens, just find someone who has done it and suck the experience right out of their brains. Presto, you might as well have done it yourself! Anyone can be a mind-reader, and of course sexual gratification is not the only use it can be put to. Many people, including babies, have learned the skill and use it on a day-to-day basis, although in the case of infants, nobody knows what use they put the knowledge to.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Sissies are those sensitive people. They won’t eat meat and they cry all the time. Context is for them.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.
Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.
If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.
It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.
Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.
If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.
It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.
One of the best insults in existence was derived from the annoying qualities of sissies. It goes as follows:
"____ is for sissies!"
Brilliance.
Sissy.
"____ is for sissies!"
Brilliance.
Sissy.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006