Shelter-in-place

A government-funded sexual rekindling retreat for your parents

It’s week three of shelter-in-place and I can’t get the smell of my parents’ lube out of the furniture

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Hallopeen

A term for roleplay sex involving men, a portmanteau of Halloween and peen.

Michael gave me Hallopeen last night. It was amazing.

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Useful idiot

A term specific to Washington D.C. for “voters”

Boomers are such useful idiots

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Onision

A child groomer

Onision is a child groomer

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Schrödinger’s baby

When you have condomless sex without any other contraceptives and you are in a simultaneous state of parenthood and near-miss until a few weeks later

Michael and I had a Schrödinger’s baby but it’s been seven weeks and morning sickness hasn’t started yet so I guess I’m not pregnant

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Plug fever

The irresistible urge to stick things in your butt.

There is an epidemic of Plug Fever among gay teens in the US.

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Crap smear

The anal swab you do at the clinic, like a pap smear, but instead involves inserting a sterile cotton swab into your lower fun zone.

I got a crap smear last night and it still hurts.

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020