Justclowntingz's definitions

Hoeflake

1. Someone who has a large number of sexual partners but is sensitive about the topic.

2. Someone who is prolific on dating apps but flakes after they jack off.

1. Lashonda is such a hoeflake, I had to drive her to the clinic and lend her $15 dollars for a test because her parents look at her bank account

2. Michael is such a hoeflake. We’ve been talking since last summer but he has yet to actually stick it in.

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Videophone

When two influencers collaborate on each-other’s accounts and the guest influencer completely outshines the main.

“Videophone” is such a cheap attempt to replicate “Telephone” and Gaga completely out-performed Beyoncé on her own song.

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Student loans

The practice of giving depressed teenagers tens of thousands or more in debt with no financial experience or context

Johnny has $100,000 in student loans for an art degree, and he works at McDonalds!

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Social dick-sucking

Risk-free public sex during shelter-in-place, due to the absence of large public gatherings. Named after social distancing.

Michael and I have been social dick-sucking and it’s great because nobody has called the cops this time

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Crap smear

The anal swab you do at the clinic, like a pap smear, but instead involves inserting a sterile cotton swab into your lower fun zone.

I got a crap smear last night and it still hurts.

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Judge Judy

A term for a verbal degradation kink; When one is sexually aroused by being verbally abused by their partner. It may also be applied to specific role-play situations.

1. I’m such a Judge Judy, I love talking shit in bed.
2. Michael Judge Judy’d me last night and it was kind of hot

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Useful idiot

A term specific to Washington D.C. for “voters”

Boomers are such useful idiots

by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020