Definitions by Justclowntingz

spontaneous gay abortion 

The process of accidentally leaking splooge from one’s anus after receiving gay anal intercourse, particularly after a larger encounter.

After a long night of fornicating with the boys, I fell asleep before using the bathroom and had a spontaneous gay abortion in my sleep and woke up to a nasty surprise

spontaneous gay abortion by Justclowntingz January 2, 2023

Student loans 

The practice of giving depressed teenagers tens of thousands or more in debt with no financial experience or context

Johnny has $100,000 in student loans for an art degree, and he works at McDonalds!

Student loans by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Bloomer 

Former Hippies who are indeed still hip (derived from Boomer + Flower child)

I was expecting Jimmy’s grandpa to be as pretentious as the rest of his family, but turns out he’s a Bloomer!

Bloomer by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Shelter-in-place 

A government-funded sexual rekindling retreat for your parents

It’s week three of shelter-in-place and I can’t get the smell of my parents’ lube out of the furniture

Shelter-in-place by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Zamboner 

The act of using your erect penis to spread your jizz across a person’s body, in a similar fashion to the eponymously trademarked ice-rink cleaning invention by Frank Zamboni

Tony gave me a zamboner last night. It took me hours to clean everything off

Zamboner by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Social dick-sucking 

Risk-free public sex during shelter-in-place, due to the absence of large public gatherings. Named after social distancing.

Michael and I have been social dick-sucking and it’s great because nobody has called the cops this time

Social dick-sucking by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020

Crap smear 

The anal swab you do at the clinic, like a pap smear, but instead involves inserting a sterile cotton swab into your lower fun zone.

I got a crap smear last night and it still hurts.

Crap smear by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020