A fundamentalist practitioner of the daily caffeine ritual so dogmatic they refuse to serve, let alone imbibe, any other beverage known to humans.
They ONLY drink coffee.
They only permit coffee to be served to family and friends.
They rip babies out of the arms of mothers nursing infants to pour black (slightly cooled) coffee down the throats of said child asserting the lifelong progression towards dementia being diminished thenceforward.
They ONLY drink coffee.
They only permit coffee to be served to family and friends.
They rip babies out of the arms of mothers nursing infants to pour black (slightly cooled) coffee down the throats of said child asserting the lifelong progression towards dementia being diminished thenceforward.
Damn, he is such a caffeinist, he ended the blind date with Jolene at the diner the moment he realized she was drinking tea instead of coffee!
by Jules.Sheehy January 20, 2020
Get the caffeinist mug.Toilet brush, mop, or broom. Similar to the ornamented staff carried by royalty; the tool of the custodial trade is symbolic for anyone cleaning up crap others leave behind. Unlike the ornamented staff carried by dignitaries, the custodial scepter is actually useful.
Julia spun her custodial-scepter in a perfect circle scrubbing the resistant residue from the porcelain altar of excretion relief. Her toilet would be clean before company arrived by gosh!
by Jules.Sheehy August 03, 2018
Get the custodial-scepter mug.Spontaneous appearance of significant clumps of hair from a beloved pet, often triggering unstoppable sneezing. Appears at the most inconvenient time, around the most tragically allergic person. Hilarious when pet owner was secretly hoping to avoid or get rid of someone annoying.
They arrived to sneer the decorations when my Irish Setter and my Maine Coon spun a category 5 hairacane. The dog and cat playing triggered allergies for the itty-bitty-condemnation-committee. They had to leave. I breathed a sigh of relief...and blew clump of hair off my chest as I did so.
by Jules.Sheehy January 26, 2020
Get the hairacane mug.When an individual is so exhausted that their cognitive skills are compromised, effectively lowering their IQ
Jules was so fatigued after the long hours of driving that she could not remember whether to put out the recycling, the garbage, or the cat. Swaying with exhaustion she exclaimed, "I put the milk in the closet and the detergent in the fridge just now. I am officially dumbass tired!"
by Jules.Sheehy July 13, 2016
Get the dumbass tired mug.The inexplicable, unpredictable nature of sudden hormonal shifts compelled by metabolic strain the female body experiences as it endures "the change" which women can neither avoid nor control -- sometimes inspires near homicidal behavior accompanied by even more colorful profanity. This behavior is ordinarily out of character for the female suffering the throes of menopause. Synonyms can include: venom-vox, spit-fire, hell-tongue, death-shrew, and toxic-locorrhea.
Ordinarily she was truly so sweet and pleasant, but in a sudden flare of of menopause-mouth she told her partner how she would bloody well enjoy watching them f*in burn to near-death in a pit after which mo-fo fire ants slowly brought a certain GD end by consuming their flailing, pleasantly smoke-flavored, f*in remnants, GD-it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Jules.Sheehy August 03, 2018
Get the Menopause-Mouth mug.is malicious computer software, sometimes called a cyber weapon. It incorporates features of malware, spyware, viruses, trojans, worms, adulterated firmware and ransomware. It is deployed for the purpose of disrupting infrastructure and/or safety and security systems of a nation state. The Stuxnet Virus is a good example.
The computer science teacher discovered his students had accidentally released their virus homework assignment "into the wild" causing Homeland Security to pay his classroom a personal visit seeking the source of this latest terrorware.
The homework assignment had been mistaken for terrorware as it had prevented citizens from properly operating their voice-command driven television sets. Specifically offended was The First Lady who had been made to miss an episode of GLOW on Netflix and had instead endured The View on cable.
The homework assignment had been mistaken for terrorware as it had prevented citizens from properly operating their voice-command driven television sets. Specifically offended was The First Lady who had been made to miss an episode of GLOW on Netflix and had instead endured The View on cable.
by Jules.Sheehy August 03, 2018
Get the terrorware mug.Similar to helpy-helpington-ism. Tendency to offer unsolicited help to attendees of a Zoom session, even when logged in purely as a participant.
Unable to repress his co-host-dependency, he directed participants and answered questions as they entered the videochat, forcing the actual hosts and co-hosts to clarify and redirect. Zoomified, he muted his mic and turned off his camera.
by Jules.Sheehy April 05, 2021
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