Definitions by Jules.Sheehy
co-host-dependency
Similar to helpy-helpington-ism. Tendency to offer unsolicited help to attendees of a Zoom session, even when logged in purely as a participant.
Unable to repress his co-host-dependency, he directed participants and answered questions as they entered the videochat, forcing the actual hosts and co-hosts to clarify and redirect. Zoomified, he muted his mic and turned off his camera.
co-host-dependency by Jules.Sheehy April 5, 2021
ir-retweet
Expression of angst demonstrated by quickly re-tweeting with a comment. Agitated series of tweets made while irritated.
The more irritating the original thought expressed; the greater probability of furious ir-retweeting.
The more irritating the original thought expressed; the greater probability of furious ir-retweeting.
He was so angered by the reporter's blunt observation that he ir-retweeted the reporter's comment 78 times within the next hour.
ir-retweet by Jules.Sheehy May 19, 2020
hairacane
Spontaneous appearance of significant clumps of hair from a beloved pet, often triggering unstoppable sneezing. Appears at the most inconvenient time, around the most tragically allergic person. Hilarious when pet owner was secretly hoping to avoid or get rid of someone annoying.
They arrived to sneer the decorations when my Irish Setter and my Maine Coon spun a category 5 hairacane. The dog and cat playing triggered allergies for the itty-bitty-condemnation-committee. They had to leave. I breathed a sigh of relief...and blew clump of hair off my chest as I did so.
hairacane by Jules.Sheehy January 26, 2020
caffeinist
A fundamentalist practitioner of the daily caffeine ritual so dogmatic they refuse to serve, let alone imbibe, any other beverage known to humans.
They ONLY drink coffee.
They only permit coffee to be served to family and friends.
They rip babies out of the arms of mothers nursing infants to pour black (slightly cooled) coffee down the throats of said child asserting the lifelong progression towards dementia being diminished thenceforward.
They ONLY drink coffee.
They only permit coffee to be served to family and friends.
They rip babies out of the arms of mothers nursing infants to pour black (slightly cooled) coffee down the throats of said child asserting the lifelong progression towards dementia being diminished thenceforward.
Damn, he is such a caffeinist, he ended the blind date with Jolene at the diner the moment he realized she was drinking tea instead of coffee!
caffeinist by Jules.Sheehy January 20, 2020
asswerted
Announcing with gravitas and feigned authority that something is a fact with the express purpose of demanding the listener buy the facade of the speaker's fantastical persona. Broadcasting a statement while intending to build an image and simultaneously diminish others.
He asswerted that people who didn't reverse their cars into parking spaces were entirely incapable of planning ahead in anything.
He asswerted so often, claiming expertise in areas in which he had no experience; his managers would sometimes opt to expose him to the consultants embarrass him. They had hoped the experience would restrain his daily grandiosity.
He asswerted that he knew FAR more than ALL the staff put together!
She asswerted her niece's boyfriend is a bad person, because her brother-in-law didn't like the young man.
He asswerted he knew more about the aircraft and how it was used than anyone else while watching a military aviation documentary alongside a USAF combat veteran (who had actually flown on the aircraft being discussed). He continued to loudly asswert over others whenever they'd offer their experiences.
He asswerted so often, claiming expertise in areas in which he had no experience; his managers would sometimes opt to expose him to the consultants embarrass him. They had hoped the experience would restrain his daily grandiosity.
He asswerted that he knew FAR more than ALL the staff put together!
She asswerted her niece's boyfriend is a bad person, because her brother-in-law didn't like the young man.
He asswerted he knew more about the aircraft and how it was used than anyone else while watching a military aviation documentary alongside a USAF combat veteran (who had actually flown on the aircraft being discussed). He continued to loudly asswert over others whenever they'd offer their experiences.
asswerted by Jules.Sheehy January 20, 2020
Menopause-Mouth
The inexplicable, unpredictable nature of sudden hormonal shifts compelled by metabolic strain the female body experiences as it endures "the change" which women can neither avoid nor control -- sometimes inspires near homicidal behavior accompanied by even more colorful profanity. This behavior is ordinarily out of character for the female suffering the throes of menopause. Synonyms can include: venom-vox, spit-fire, hell-tongue, death-shrew, and toxic-locorrhea.
Ordinarily she was truly so sweet and pleasant, but in a sudden flare of of menopause-mouth she told her partner how she would bloody well enjoy watching them f*in burn to near-death in a pit after which mo-fo fire ants slowly brought a certain GD end by consuming their flailing, pleasantly smoke-flavored, f*in remnants, GD-it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Menopause-Mouth by Jules.Sheehy August 3, 2018